Category Archives: Planned Parenthood



  • Want to control as much of your life as they possibly can
  • Want to take away your freedom
  • Want to regulate your speech
  • Accept blood money from Planned Parenthood to get elected
  • Take your money and give it to Planned Parenthood
  • Say your child belong to the state
  • Want to keep your children in failing schools
  • Want to indoctrinate your children in secular humanism and encourage them to abandon your faith
  • Punish you for your beliefs and thoughts
  • Allow religious liberty for everyone but Christians
  • Raise your taxes
  • View all money as theirs to keep or to allow you to have some
  • Punish successful businesses
  • Tax your church
  • Remove accreditation from Christian colleges
  • Take away your right to defend yourself — leaving you defenseless against criminals
  • Release more prisoners from jail
  • Want Planned Parenthood to avoid punishment for allowing child rapists to go unreported
  • Want to re-write the Constitution so they can make up new “rights”
  • Want to weaken our national defense
  • Want to open the borders for drug smugglers and new Democratic voters
  • Ignore the rule of law
  • Are creating chaos so you will give up your liberty to have order
  • Are destroying America’s culture
  • Are practicing situational ethics to justify unethical behavior
  • Confiscate your money and give it to the poor, then taking credit for “helping the poor”
  • Are making you pay for the abortion slaughter of 1.2 million Americans each year
  • Are making you pay for other people’s health insurance
  • Made you pay for free golf carts for others
  • Want you to pay for other people’s college education
  • Are giving your tax dollars to America’s enemies
  • Control the media
  • Steal elections and disenfranchise you
  • Encourage activist judges to over-rule your vote
  • Are dictating your vocabulary
  • Are demonizing and marginalizing anyone who does not agree with them
  • Despise the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution
  • Are fiscally reckless and irresponsible, weakening the economy
  • Jeopardizing your social security
  • Are controlling the law schools and training godless generations of lawyers to carry out their policies
  • Are championing moral depravity
  • Are poisoning people against law enforcement
  • Are socialists

Arizona’s Women Have Real Choices and Don’t Need Planned Parenthood


House Votes to Defund Corrupt Planned Parenthood

The U.S. House of Representatives voted today for legislation that would temporarily de-fund Planned Parenthood while an investigation continues into it s sale of aborted babies and their body parts.

Rep. Diane Black, a Tennessee Republican who is the pro-life lawmaker sponsoring the legislation and a nurse for more than 40 years, sponsored the legislation. The bill would freeze Planned Parenthood funding for one year while Congress conducts an investigation into its sales of aborted babies. The House vote would follow one the Senate had weeks ago, which saw Senate Democrats filibuster and block legislation to revoke $550 million in taxpayer funding. The Senate is expected to vote soon on a second attempt to de-fund Planned Parenthood.

A new Congressional report finds that de-funding the Planned Parenthood abortion business — even for one year — would save “several thousand” unborn babies from the nightmare of abortion. The report also finds de-funding Planned Parenthood would save the federal government $235 million.

During the debate, House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy spoke on the House floor in defense of innocent human life and urged his colleagues to put a moratorium on Planned Parenthood funding in light of its barbaric practices.

SIGN THE PETITION! Congress Must De-Fund Planned Parenthood Immediately

“So if we know that this organization performs hundreds of thousands of abortions per year and we know that women have access to other sources for care, the question is, should we force taxpayers to fund a business that spends its money aborting 327,653 children per year?  Should we force taxpayers to fund an organization whose barbaric practices, as vividly shown in those videos, disregard and devalue the sanctity of the most innocent human lives?” he asked.

He added: “There is no reason—absolutely no reason—that we must choose between funding women’s health and compelling taxpayers to support abortion.”

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) talked about how Planned Parenthood is not in the business of women’s health care and is really just an abortion company. he said Planned Parenthood has “never, ever, ever done one mammogram, because they are not certified to do mammograms

“In the history of Planned Parenthood, they have never, ever, ever done one mammogram, because they are not certified to do mammograms. They bring people in and refer them out to get their mammograms. So, for those of us –like in my case, three daughters and a wife of 37 years –look, I want good women’s healthcare. So, let’s fund it,” he said. “But, let’s give it directly to the facilities that will do the mammograms and not Planned Parenthood – for them to take their cut.”

President Barack Obama has already threatened to veto the bill.

White House spokesman Josh Earnest confirmed that Obama will veto any bill that de-funds Planned Parenthood after 10 shocking videos found that it has sold aborted babies and their body parts.

“We’ve been quite forthright about the president’s opposition to any effort to wholesale defund Planned Parenthood,” Earnest told reporters Wednesday.

Earnest called it “cynical” to use the videos as a reason to de-fund the abortion company, saying it has apologized for the tone of the videos — though Planned Parenthood steadfastly defended selling aborted babies and their body parts for research.

In 2011, House members voted 241-185 for a resolution that would prohibit the Planned Parenthood abortion business from qualifying for family planning funds. The vote saw almost all Republicans supporting de-funding while Democrats generally opposed it. That was the second vote taken to de-fund the abortion giant. An earlier vote in 2011 saw the House de-funded Planned Parenthood on a 240-185 margin.

The 10th video by The Center for Medical Progress features several top-level Planned Parenthood executives discussing the organization’s secretive practices around aborted fetal parts harvesting. The video includes comments from Deborah VanDerhei, the National Director of the organization’s Consortium of Abortion Providers, describing the harvesting of fetal body parts as “donation for remuneration.”

A first hearing has exposed how Planned Parenthood is likely breaking multiple federal laws to sell aborted baby body parts. Next week, a second Congressional hearing into the Planned Parenthood abortion business will take place after 10 videos have exposed how the abortion company sells aborted babies and their body parts for research.

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The expose’ videos catching Planned Parenthood officials selling the body parts of aborted babies have shocked the nation. Here is a list of all nine:

  • In the first video: Dr. Deborah Nucatola of Planned Parenthood commented on baby-crushing: “We’ve been very good at getting heart, lung, liver, because we know that, so I’m not gonna crush that part, I’m gonna basically crush below, I’m gonna crush above, and I’m gonna see if I can get it all intact.”
  • In the second video: Planned Parenthood’s Dr. Mary Gatter joked, “I want a Lamborghini” as she negotiated the best price for baby parts.
  • In the third video: Holly O’Donnell, a former Stem Express employee who worked inside a Planned Parenthood clinic, detailed first-hand the unspeakable atrocities and how she fainted in horror over handling baby legs.
  • In the fourth video: Planned Parenthood’s Dr. Savita Ginde stated, “We don’t want to do just a flat-fee (per baby) of like, $200. A per-item thing works a little better, just because we can see how much we can get out of it.” She also laughed while looking at a plate of fetal kidneys that were “good to go.”
  • In the fifth video: Melissa Farrell of Planned Parenthood-Gulf Coast in Houston boasted of Planned Parenthood’s skill in obtaining “intact fetal cadavers” and how her “research” department “contributes so much to the bottom line of our organization here, you know we’re one of the largest affiliates, our Research Department is the largest in the United States.”
  • In the sixth video: Holly O’Donnell described technicians taking fetal parts without patient consent: “There were times when they would just take what they wanted. And these mothers don’t know. And there’s no way they would know.”
  • In the seventh and perhaps most disturbing video: Holly O’Donnell described the harvesting, or “procurement,” of organs from a nearly intact late-term fetus aborted at Planned Parenthood Mar Monte’s Alameda clinic in San Jose, CA. “‘You want to see something kind of cool,’” O’Donnell says her supervisor asked her. “And she just taps the heart, and it starts beating. And I’m sitting here and I’m looking at this fetus, and its heart is beating, and I don’t know what to think.”
  • In the eighth video: StemExpress CEO Cate Dyer admits Planned Parenthood sells “a lot of” fully intact aborted babies.
  • The ninth video: catches a Planned Parenthood medical director discussing how the abortion company sells fully intact aborted babies — including one who “just fell out” of the womb.
  • The 10th video: catches the nation’s biggest abortion business selling specific body parts — including the heart, eyes and “gonads” of unborn babies.The video also shows the shocking ways in which Planned Parenthood officials admit that they are breaking federal law by selling aborted baby body parts for profit.

SIGN THE PETITION! Congress Must Investigate Planned Parenthood for Selling Aborted Baby Parts

So far, 12 states have responded to the Planned Parenthood videos and launched investigations into their abortion and organ harvesting business including South Carolina, Florida, Tennessee, Massachusetts, KansasMissouri, Arizona, Indiana, Ohio, Georgia, Texas and Louisiana. The district attorney in Houston Texas is also investigating after the Houston-based Planned Parenthood abortion facility was caught selling aborted babies.

Congress has expanded its investigation into the Planned Parenthood abortion business and five states have revoked taxpayer funding for Planned Parenthood’s abortion business, including Utah, Arkansas, Alabama, New Hampshire and Louisiana and Iowa’s governor has ordered a review of Planned Parenthood funding.

The full, unedited videos have confirmed that revelations that some aborted baby remains sold by Planned Parenthood go to biotech companies for the purpose of creating “humanized” mice. Meanwhile, Planned Parenthood has been exposed as having sold body parts from aborted babies for as much as 15 years.

The federal law that technically prohibits the sale of aborted babies and their body parts was written by a pro-abortion Congressman decades ago and essentially spells out a process by which sellers of aborted baby body parts can meet certain criteria that allows the sales to be legal. That’s why a Colorado congressman has introduced legislation to totally ban the sales of aborted baby body parts.


A Yea vote is for de-funding Planned Parenthood:

—- AYES    241 —

Bishop (MI)
Bishop (UT)
Brady (TX)
Brooks (AL)
Brooks (IN)
Carter (GA)
Carter (TX)
Clawson (FL)
Collins (GA)
Collins (NY)
Costello (PA)
Curbelo (FL)
Davis, Rodney
Duncan (SC)
Duncan (TN)
Ellmers (NC)
Emmer (MN)
Franks (AZ)
Graves (GA)
Graves (LA)
Graves (MO)
Heck (NV)
Herrera Beutler
Hice, Jody B.
Huizenga (MI)
Hurd (TX)
Hurt (VA)
Jenkins (KS)
Jenkins (WV)
Johnson (OH)
Johnson, Sam
Kelly (MS)
Kelly (PA)
King (NY)
Kinzinger (IL)
McMorris Rodgers
Miller (FL)
Miller (MI)
Mooney (WV)
Murphy (PA)
Poe (TX)
Price, Tom
Rice (SC)
Roe (TN)
Rogers (AL)
Rogers (KY)
Rooney (FL)
Ryan (WI)
Scott, Austin
Smith (MO)
Smith (NE)
Smith (NJ)
Smith (TX)
Thompson (PA)
Walters, Mimi
Weber (TX)
Webster (FL)
Wilson (SC)
Young (AK)
Young (IA)
Young (IN)

—- NOES    187 — 

Bishop (GA)
Boyle, Brendan F.
Brady (PA)
Brown (FL)
Brownley (CA)
Carson (IN)
Castor (FL)
Castro (TX)
Chu, Judy
Clark (MA)
Clarke (NY)
Davis (CA)
Davis, Danny
Doyle, Michael F.
Frankel (FL)
Green, Al
Green, Gene
Heck (WA)
Jackson Lee
Johnson (GA)
Johnson, E. B.
Kelly (IL)
Larsen (WA)
Larson (CT)
Lieu, Ted
Lujan Grisham (NM)
Luján, Ben Ray (NM)
Maloney, Carolyn
Maloney, Sean
Murphy (FL)
Price (NC)
Rice (NY)
Ryan (OH)
Sánchez, Linda T.
Sanchez, Loretta
Scott (VA)
Scott, David
Sewell (AL)
Swalwell (CA)
Thompson (MS)
Van Hollen
Wasserman Schultz
Waters, Maxine
Watson Coleman
Wilson (FL)


House Passes Cong. Franks’ Life Bill

If the U.S. Senate passes this bill as well, President Barack Obama will veto it because he is totally beholden to abortion, Planned Parenthood and the culture of death. Nevertheless, we praise Congressman Trent Franks and all voted for this bill. They did the right thing.

028_29Washington, D.C.— Today the House of Representatives passed the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act (H.R. 3504) by a vote of 248-177, 1 Present. The legislation, sponsored by the Subcommittee on the Constitution and Civil Justice Chairman Trent Franks (R-Ariz.), would protect all children who are born alive.

The Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act severely penalizes abortion practitioners who violate federal law by killing innocent children who are born during failed abortion procedures. The provisions of the bill directly address concerns raised throughout the House Judiciary Committee’s ongoing investigation into Planned Parenthood. Under this bill, if a born-alive child is cut open for its body parts, or some other overt act is taken to kill the child, the punishment is that for first-degree murder, which can include life in prison or the death penalty.

House Judiciary Committee Chairman Bob Goodlatte (R-Va.) and the Subcommittee on the Constitution and Civil Justice Chairman Trent Franks released the following statement after the passage of the bill:

“Today the House of Representatives made a strong statement for children who have no voice in the face of atrocities committed by abortionists. This legislation sends a strong message to those who are in the horrific business of abortions that there are real consequences for those who would kill or abandon children after they are outside a mother’s womb. Today’s debate is a somber reminder of the horrors of abortion, and the atrocities that abortionists like Kermit Gosnell can inflict on babies.

“We are proud that this bill also addresses a primary issue within the House Judiciary Committee’s investigation into Planned Parenthood. At the heart of Planned Parenthood’s alleged activities is the harvesting of fetal body parts for profit. This bill severely punishes those abortion practitioners who would kill an innocent baby in order to harvest baby parts.

“We wish to thank our colleagues for supporting this important piece of legislation for the unborn.”

Key Provisions:

  • In the case of an abortion or attempted abortion that results in a child born alive, any health care practitioner present must exercise the same degree of professional care to preserve the life of the child as they would render to any other child born alive at the same gestational age.
  • Provides that the child must be immediately transported and admitted to a hospital.
  • The bill requires the reporting of any known violations of its provisions.
  • Allows a woman to file a civil lawsuit if her live baby was not treated with the care and respect required by the bill.

Cong. Kirkpatrick Among National Leaders for Accepting Planned Parenthood Blood Money

No. 17: Ann Kirkpatrick
$31,650 received from Planned Parenthood, which is under investigation for illegally selling dead baby body parts; which is being sued for not reporting the rapes of under-age girls and allowing their rapists to offend again; and under investigation for illegally over-billing the federal government

PARTY: Democrat
FEDERAL OFFICE: U.S. representative for Arizona’s 1st Congressional District (2009-11; 2013-present); Candidate for 2016 Democratic nomination for Senate to challenge incumbent John McCain (R)


2012 DNC Convention voice vote preference to leave “God” out of platform Matthew 10:32-33 — Therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven.
You have a legal right to kill your unborn child. You have an obligation to fund Planned Parenthood with your tax dollars. You have an obligation to fund abortion with your tax dollars, and will be punished if you refuse. Jeremiah 1:4-5 — The word of the Lord came to me, saying, Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Genesis 1:26-27 — Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Genesis 9: 5-6 — And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each human being, too, I will demand an accounting for the life of another human being. Whoever sheds human blood, by humans shall their blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made mankind.

Proverbs 6: 16-19 — There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
Deuteronomy 5:17 — You shall not murder.

Deuteronomy 30:19 — This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live

You have a legal right to marry a person of the same gender. Government should pay for sex changes. Children should experiment sexually. Genesis 5:2 — He created them male and female and blessed them. And he named them “Mankind”[a] when they were created.

Matthew 19:5 — For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

Your rights come from government. Galatians 5:1 — It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Animals and the earth are of greater value than human beings. Genesis 1:26 — Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
Man, animals, birds and plants evolved from a lower order, by accident. Genesis 1:21 — So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind.

Genesis 1:25 — God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.

Human beings make their own morality. Romans 1:22 — Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools

Jeremiah 10:14 — Everyone is senseless and without knowledge; every goldsmith is shamed by his idols. The images he makes are a fraud; they have no breath in them.

You are not encouraged to work. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 — For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”

But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve … But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua 24:15

Fund Planned Parenthood, You Anti-Feminist Woman Hater!

Carson, BLM Clash on Issues

By John Semmens – Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

JohnGOP presidential hopeful Dr. Ben Carson and leaders of the Black Lives Matter movement clashed this week following Carson’s assertion that BLM is “creating strife.” As Carson sees it, “Blacks have been led down a dead-end road to dependency and murder via abortion by Democrat policies.”

The message that Democrats are sending by their support for the welfare state is that Blacks can’t make it on their own efforts,” Carson argued. “This is ridiculous. Blacks are as capable as whites if they apply their God-given talents to the world around them.”

The candidate was even more critical of Democrats’ unwavering support for taxpayer financed abortions, which he called “the leading cause of death in the Black community. More Black children are killed by abortion than by gang wars or cops.”

BLM co-founder Alicia Garza rejected Carson’s view. “The issue isn’t whether Blacks are capable of making their own way, but whether they should have to,” Garza said. “For centuries white plantation owners who were capable of supporting themselves depended on the labors of Black slaves. The government benefits Blacks are now receiving are a small down payment on the reparations owed for that debt.”

And Carson’s characterization of abortion as the leading cause of death for Blacks completely misses the point,” Garza continued. “All the Black babies terminated by abortion free Black women from the oppression of unwanted motherhood. These are women taking charge of their reproductive processes. These are women liberating themselves from burdens they choose not to bear. For Carson to compare these acts of self-liberation to cops shooting Blacks is shameful.”

Garza warned Carson that “he shouldn’t think himself immune to our wrath. We shut up O’Malley, we took away Sanders’ microphone, we drove Bush from the stage. We will make Carson rue the day that he chose to challenge our message.”

Court Rejects Challenge to Executive Amnesty

The U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia rejected Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s bid to halt President Obama’s executive grant of amnesty to those in the country illegally, calling the Sheriff’s reasoning “tenuous” and “unduly speculative.”

First, the argument that the grant of amnesty is imposing extra burdens on the Sheriff’s office cannot be supported by the facts,” Judge Nina Pillard wrote. “The laws against entering this country illegally are federal laws. The federal government has made it clear that it does not intend to enforce these laws. Sheriff Arpaio cannot claim his office is being burdened if he insists on doing something the feds don’t want done.”

The federal policy against enforcement renders moot the Sheriff’s contention that amnesty will attract even more illegal migrants into his state,” Pillard added. “As it stands, illegal migrants are already entitled to all the benefits available to legal residents, regardless of whether any formal amnesty is given. The lure of subsidized food, housing, education, and health care is sufficient on its own to lure illegal entry even in the absence of amnesty. Given that 80% of the illegal entrants in California are living off public assistance, it seems likely that Arizona is merely a place that these people will pass through on their way to greener pastures to the west. Therefore, the relief the plaintiff seeks is likely to be achieved by the mere passage of time.”

Obama Admin Urges Court to Block Restitution to Terror Victims

Deputy Secretary of State Tony Blinken argued against the imposition of jury-awarded damages to the victims of Palestinian terrorist attacks in 2002-2004. The jury award of more than $200 million in actual damages to ten families with three dozen injured, maimed, or killed is vigorously opposed by the Obama Administration.

Despite proclaiming its sympathy for the victims, the Administration seeks to void the damage award because, according to Blinken, “the amount represents a significant share of the Palestinian Authority’s annual budget. The loss of so large an amount would seriously infringe upon the PA’s ability to carry out its functions. Rocket attacks on Israeli civilians—the PA’s only tool to avert Zionist oppression of Palestinians—would have to be severely curtailed. Tunnel construction into the territories occupied by Israel would be dramatically impeded. Training and arming infiltrators would be brought to a standstill.”

Blinken hastened to point out that his remarks were “not an endorsement of PA policies that some might construe as ‘provocative.’ We may not agree with how the PA conducts itself, but we can take a stand in favor of the general principle that a sovereign state must have the freedom and the resources to act as it sees fit.”

In related news, Blinken refused to condemn the Islamic State’s legalization of rape and sexual slavery. “Granted, the idea of raping unbelievers and selling them as sex-slaves may seem odd to our ears,” Blinken conceded. “But if we believe in freedom of religion we ought to respect practices that differ from ours.”

Newly Released Emails Said to Exonerate Lerner

A newly released batch of emails from Lois Lerner, former IRS official in charge of denying conservative groups the same tax-free status as left-leaning groups, is said to have largely exonerated her of charges of unwarranted discrimination.

Attorney General Loretta Lynch cited email content in which Lerner referred to conservative groups as “evil and dishonest” as “fundamentally exculpatory. As a public servant, Ms. Lerner was certainly within her rights and duties to block the misuse of tax-exempt status to groups that in her mind posed a genuine danger to the government. While conservatives might be expected to disagree with her apprehension, there can be no dispute that her perception was heartfelt.”

Lynch concluded that “as far as we are concerned, there is no cause for further investigation, much less possible prosecution. Ms. Lynch was doing her duty as she saw it. In the government bureaucracy, sloth and dereliction of duty is all too common. Zeal is too rare. It is tragic enough that Ms. Lerner has been hounded out of office by right-wing extremists. It is time that the GOP hell-hounds in Congress let this woman try to rebuild her life free from further persecution.”

Obama Vetoes Planned Parenthood Defunding

Efforts by the legislatures of Louisiana and Alabama to reduce public funds allocated to Planned Parenthood this week were vetoed by President Obama. The president dismissed arguments that videos revealing PP’s participation in illegal trafficking in used baby parts warranted the states’ actions.

I learned in law school that the rule in our country is ‘innocent until proven guilty,’” Obama recalled. “Attorney General Lynch hasn’t deemed there is enough evidence to justify an investigation, much less a prosecution, trial, and verdict. These states’ attempts to inflict punishment before the judicial process has been given a fair chance to work does not live up to our standards.”

The president also ventured an opinion that “there may be nothing to this whole so-called scandal. I watch TV news every night and I don’t recall seeing any of these alleged incriminating videos. Surely, these ratings-hungry media outlets would be all over this story if it were legitimate.”

Obama appeared to be undaunted by the unprecedented action of a president vetoing a state law, citing his own authority as a constitutional scholar. “There is a clause in the US Constitution authorizing the federal government to do whatever is ‘necessary and proper.’ What could be more necessary and proper than to prevent a state legislature from penalizing an organization before it is convicted of a crime?”

David Daleiden, head of The Center for Medical Progress—the organization that released the videos, characterized the president’s stance as “willful blindness dedicated to preserving a cruel and criminal enterprise” and wondered “whether the $25 million the principal officers of Planned Parenthood have donated to the Democratic Party may have played a role in shaping his response to this organization’s continuing atrocities.”

Hillary Makes Bid for Latino Vote

Democrat presidential contender Hillary Clinton told a Spanish-language TV station Univision audience that she will make rich Americans pay the travel expenses of illegal immigrants. This is in contrast to GOP contender Donald Trump’s boast that he will make the Mexican government pay to build a border fence to keep illegal immigrants out.

Realistically, there’s no way an American president can make Mexico pay for anything,” Clinton asserted. “Why should the Mexican government pay for a fence? An open border allows their surplus population to escape to the United States where a generous slate of benefits awaits them.”

On the flip side, though, an American president has lots of leverage for extracting money from its taxpayers,” Clinton said. “With both the FBI and the NSA under the president’s control I’m sure I will have the information I need to persuade Congress to levy the necessary taxes. Or I could just issue an executive order or memo. One way or another, I’ll get the job done. People who make the arduous and dangerous trek to come to this country shouldn’t have to pay their own way.”

Illegal Immigrants Sue for Millions

Five illegal immigrants from Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador have filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the federal government. As their lawyer Andrew Free explained, “they came to this country to exercise their Constitutional right to share in its abundance. Yet, unlike the Mexicans who got here before them they’ve been denied free food, free housing, free education, and free health care. Instead, they been detained in squalid conditions as if they were common criminals.”

Free called this lawsuit “merely the opening salvo in a protracted struggle for social justice. There are thousands, maybe millions, of future plaintiffs. We will carve up the golden goose until all her eggs have been fairly distributed to the world’s poor.”

It’s not only illegal immigrants angling for a piece of the action. Retired Cuban dictator Fidel Castro says “the United States owes every one of Cuba’s 11 million people substantial damages for the cruel and vicious embargo it imposed on our country for over 50 years.” In response to Castro’s demand for money, the Obama Administration has dispatched its crack negotiator—Secretary of State John Kerry—to hammer out a settlement.

In related news, racial justice expert Al Sharpton slammed GOP presidential hopeful Sen. Rand Paul’s claim that hard work is a path to financial success. “The claim is demonstrably false,” Sharpton contended. “I’ve never worked hard, yet I’m drawing six figures just for talking on TV. From my experience, luck and knowing the right people are what really brings home the big bucks.”

A Satirical Look at Recent News

John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire for The Arizona Conservative since 2005. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties our Founding Fathers tried to protect. 

Please do us a favor. If you uses material created by The Arizona Conservative, give us credit and DO NOT change the context. Thank you.

Kerry Insists that ‘Death to America’ Is Just Rhetoric

By John Semmens – Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

JohnIn his continuing quest to sell Congress on what House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) labeled a “diplomatic masterpiece,” Secretary of State John Kerry tried to reassure the House Foreign Affairs Committee that Iran’s vow to take down the United States is “mere rhetoric for domestic consumption.”

Surely, members of Congress are aware that from time to time it is necessary to espouse policies that we have no real intention of implementing,” Kerry said. “I’ve lost count of the number of times that various spokesmen for the GOP have pledged to repeal Obamacare or to build a border fence. Yet, neither of these promises have gone beyond mere rhetoric. Obviously, the purpose of such rhetoric is to placate their domestic supporters. I suggest we view the infamous ‘death to America’ slogan shouted by mobs in Iran in a similar light.”

Ali Hosseini Khamenei, Supreme Leader of Iran, took issue with Kerry’s “ignorant and misguided assertion. Unlike Americans, we are not impotent mouthers of vacuous platitudes. Our battle with America will not end until the evil that it represents is exterminated. The lifting of sanctions recently approved by the United Nations is an important step toward our ultimate victory.”

In addition, Iran’s General Hossein Salami expressed confidence that “we will strike a blow that will be more shocking and more devastating than the 1941 attack on Pearl Harbor. Unlike the Japanese, we will not confine ourselves to strictly military targets. Our slaughter of the most vulnerable women and children will land a crushing and demoralizing blow from which the United States cannot recover.”

Obama Admin to Investigate Killing of Lion in Zimbabwe

Director of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Dan Ashe announced that his agency has opened an investigation of the “tragic killing” of Cecil the lion by American dentist Walter Palmer. Cecil was a major attraction at the Hwange National Park in Matabeleland North, Zimbabwe. Palmer reportedly paid some locals $50,000 to lure the lion outside the park. Palmer then killed the lion with an arrow.

Ashe characterized the killing as “a senseless act of cruelty against an innocent animal. It has shocked the world in a way that no other act has in recent memory. It is imperative that swift and severe repercussions be meted out lest others be emboldened to carry out similar atrocities.”

The enthusiasm with which the Administration has taken up the cause of justice for Cecil stands in stark contrast to its more blasé attitude toward recent revelations of the ghoulish activities undertaken by Planned Parenthood, where organs harvested from abortions are covertly sold.

Press Secretary Josh Earnest attempted to explain the disparity by insisting that “the President is persuaded that Planned Parenthood has always acted with the utmost integrity and compassion. This organization’s selfless concern for the welfare of women is nothing like the crass selfishness displayed by Dr. Palmer. He killed this lion for personal pleasure. Planned Parenthood repurposes unwanted human tissue for the benefit of mankind.”

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) concurred in Earnest’s assessment and called efforts to defund Planned Parenthood “a distraction from the more serious matter of animal abuse exemplified by Dr. Palmer. It is essential that we do everything in our power to protect species endangered by human encroachment on their habitat. In this regard, Planned Parenthood’s termination of surplus humans must be seen as a crucial component of the battle against climate change. That some would seek to penalize this great organization by withdrawing taxpayer support just because they are seeking another revenue source by selling discarded fetuses is criminal.”

Senate Republican Mark Kirk (Illinois) called the uproar over Planned Parenthood’s trafficking in human baby parts “illogical. If an abortion is merely the exaction of unwanted tissue, how can the sale of this medical waste be wrong? I can’t really grasp why people are getting so upset about it. Any extra revenues Planned Parenthood can obtain in this manner reduces the burden we’re obliged to impose on taxpayers to fund the organization.”

In related news, Sen Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) sent out a fund-raising email asking supporters to donate to her reelection campaign so she “can continue to battle against those who would use Planned Parenthood’s ‘good faith effort’ to secure its financial well-being through the sale of what would otherwise just be thrown in the trash. If you value the role Planned Parenthood has played in our goal of achieving a more caring community please make a contribution today.”

Rival Says Trump “Too Mean” to Be President

Presidential candidate Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) warned GOP voters against making Donald Trump the Party’s nominee for the 2016 election.

The man is too doggone mean to be president,” Graham complained. “It isn’t just the fact that he’s egregiously insulted me—a sitting senator. He’s insulting everyone. He’s insulted immigrant rapists and murderers while completely overlooking the crimes committed by native-born rapists and murderers. He’s insulted the Chinese, implying that their trade policies are unfair. This is no way to build bridges.”

Perhaps the worst offense is Trump’s lack of respect for President Obama,” the Senator continued. “The President is a decent man and a good friend of mine. Sure, he’s made a few mistakes, but his heart is in the right place. Yet, according to Mr. Trump, President Obama has been a complete disaster—lying and blundering his way toward degrading this great country.”

Graham acknowledged his below single-digit standing in the polls, but held out hope that, in time, his long record of service would come to be appreciated by voters. “Unlike Mr. Trump, I have won many elections,” he pointed out. “This demonstrated success gives me staying power for the long haul. We’ll see a year from now who’s still in the race—the loud-mouthed political novice or the well-respected senator from South Carolina.”

Planned Parenthood Says Videos Bigger Threat than Bombings

Reeling from the negative publicity generated by videos showing the organization haggling over the price of baby parts resulting from abortions, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards characterized the videos as “possibly worse than the spate of bombings of abortion clinics a few years back.”

The big downside of the bombings was the loss of life of doctors, nurses, and others dedicated to improving women’s health,” Richards observed. “Bad as this was, it was at least partially offset by the wave of sympathy these deaths earned for our organization. With the videos, though, there is no offset. It’s all downside. It creates the impression that we are callous toward the human remains of those proto-persons we’ve terminated.”

The challenge now is for us to try to head off an unwarranted reverence for the removed tissues,” Richards said. “People don’t get worked up when other tissues—like tumors or necroses—are removed from their human hosts. If those trying to make the case that we are murdering human infants win the day our business cannot survive.”

To try to regain control over the narrative, Planned Parenthood has circulated a memo to media outlets begging them to not air anymore videos on the grounds that “they were recorded without our consent. It was our reasonable expectation that these very sensitive discussions would be private and confidential. The Center for Medical Progress violated these expectations by covertly taping these private and confidential meetings. To air these ill-gotten videos would only serve to reward this heinous invasion of our privacy.”

Judge Rules Government Has Right to Know Who Its Opponents Are

U.S. District Judge Sidney Stein ordered Citizens United to turn over the names, addresses, and amounts of money contributed to the organization by its donors to New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman.

It is clear that the activities of Citizen’s United, if successful, would result in a serious obstacle to the government’s interests,” Judge Stein wrote. “The government’s ability to fend off this threat is hampered by the anonymity of this organization’s supporters. If people want to oppose the government they should come out of the shadows.”

Stein dismissed fears that the government might take reprisals against its opponents as “cowardly. Did John Hancock, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams and the others try to hide behind anonymity when they signed the Declaration of Independence? No. They proclaimed their opposition to the government and took their chances. If the supporters of Citizen United are so fearful of the consequences of supporting anti-government propaganda maybe they should just be quiet and let the government run the country as it sees fit.”

Hillary’s Gap Nearly 5,000 Times as Large as Nixon’s

In the painfully slow release of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s official emails, House investigators have discovered a two-month gap. This is nearly 5,000 times the size of the famous “18 minute gap” on White House tapes during the Watergate scandal. Partly because of that 18 minute gap President Nixon ultimately resigned in 1974 to avoid being impeached.

All of Clinton’s Department of State email correspondence for May and June 2012 is missing. As chance would have it, this period coincides with a time of rising tensions in Libya during which others contend that they passed warnings up the line to the Secretary.

On May 22, the International Red Cross office was hit by rocket-propelled grenades. On June 6, an improvised explosive device was detonated outside the consulate. One would have thought these events might have generated some email traffic to and from the Secretary. It was during this period that US Ambassador Christopher Stevens is believed to have requested more security for the embassy and consulate.

On September 11, 2012, Stevens, along with three other Americans were killed by Muslim insurgents. At that time Secretary Clinton sprung into action assuring the world that these deaths were “the unfortunate byproduct of a peaceful demonstration gone wrong when local Muslims became incensed over a video mocking Mohammed”–a cover story that was later shown to be false.

For her part, the former Secretary insists that “there is no gap. As I recall, I was engaged in thinking about other issues—maybe my daughter’s wedding, or pregnancy, or something like that. All the emails relating to my private, non-governmental thoughts and issues during that time period were, naturally, deleted as a matter of personal privacy.”

Despite the Secretary’s apparent memory lapse or mental confusion, her doctor–Lisa Bardack, a physician in Mount Kisco, N.Y.–has pronounced Mrs. Clinton “fit to serve as president of the United States.”

Meanwhile, the Hillary for president campaign has released its price list for supporters wanting to interact with the candidate. A selfie with Hillary costs $2700. A picture with her autograph is $1000. A handshake and a simulated smile is $500. You can get the candidate to point at you from the podium for $100. A simple wave of her hand in your general direction can be had for the bargain rate of $25 per flap. If she looks toward where you are sitting or standing in the crowd, campaign staff will stop by later to collect $10 from you.

Obama Unimpressed with Current Roster of Presidential Candidates

In remarks at the African Union meeting in Ethiopia this week, President Obama lamented “the sorry slate of candidates seeking to succeed me. To be honest, there is no one worthy to follow the path I have blazed. I may have to consider running for reelection.”

Obama brushed aside the Constitutional provision prohibiting him from seeking another term as “a dangerous and unnecessary impediment” that might have to be altered “for the sake of humanity. You know, the guys who wrote the Constitution in 1787 didn’t see fit to limit the chief executive to any set number of terms. The Amendment restricting a person to two terms was the work of lesser men reacting to the unprecedented and awesome four terms to which Franklin Roosevelt was elected. Had FDR been limited to two terms we might never have emerged from the Great Depression or won World War II.”

The president said that while he is not yet ready to take the appropriate executive action to set aside the term limit restriction, he vowed not to hesitate if “the options available to voters continue to remain as lackluster as they currently are.”

A Satirical Look at Recent News

John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire for The Arizona Conservative since 2005. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties our Founding Fathers tried to protect. 

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The Ugly Face of Planned Parenthood: Margaret Sanger