Updating Election Results 2014

As of Wednesday morning, here’s where things stand in key and closely contested races:

STATEWIDE OFFICES (1,517 of 1,566 precincts reporting in)

Republican Doug Ducey has a lead of 144,000 votes over *CONTROL’s Comrade Fred DuVal. Ducey has nearly 54 percent of the vote, to DuVal’s 41 percent.

In his acceptance speech, Ducey focused on the economy and fiscal issues: “If anyone needs to cut back, it will be government and not the hardworking taxpayers of this state.” He wants to create opportunities for citizens.

Ducey raised $10 million, and DuVal said he raised $4 million.

DuVal said he campaigned on women’s rights. But Planned Parenthood, one of his key supporters, places quotas on clinics to generate revenue off women’s crisis pregnancies, placing profit before women’s well-being. Post-abortive women suffer heightened risks of breast cancer, though Planned Parenthood and other leftists deny this scientific fact.

Attorney General: Republican Mark Brnovich is leading CONTROL’s Felicia Rotellini by 6+ percentage points.

Secretary of State: Michele Reagan, a liberal Republican, leads CONTROL’s Terry Goddard by 4+ percentage points.

State Superintendent of Public Instruction: Diane Douglas (GOP) increased her lead to 2.3 percentage points over David Garcia (CONTROL). That’s the tightest of the statewide races.

CONGRESSIONAL RACES (With one exception, all precincts have reported in)

In a Southern Arizona district, conservative Martha McSally is 26 votes ahead of incumbent Ron Barber (CONTROL). The same thing happened two years ago, when McSally led on election night, but in the days of vote counting then she eventually lost to Barber.145 of the 194 precincts are in for this District 2 race.

Former legislator Andy Tobin did lose to CONTROL incumbent Ann Kirkpatrick, a notoriously poor lawmaker, 53-46 percent.

STATE LEGISLATURE (89 of 89 precincts in)

Conservative champion Sylvia Allen has forged ahead of Independent Thomas O’Halleran, by more than 1,600 votes. Allen has 51.48 percent of the votes, to her opponent’s 48.32. If her lead holds up, Republicans will have a 17-13 majority in the Arizona State Senate. Republicans will command a 37-23 majority in the state House of Representatives.


We recommended that Superior Court (Maricopa County) Judge Benjamin Norris be defeated by voters. He became the first judge in Arizona to be voted out in 36 years.

PROPOSITIONS (1,517 OF 1,566)

The only prop still to be decided is 122, which has a slim lead of 51.3 percent to 48.7 percent. This is the proposition that will allow Arizona lawmakers to over-ride radical, unconstitutional federal laws. Though these laws are not as likely to succeed with the congressional Democrats’ complete collapse in the mid-term elections.

Prop 487 lost in the City of Phoenix — allowing unfunded pensions and pension spiking to continue unabated. This places Phoenix on the same trajectory as bankrupt cities like Detroit. Socialist control of Phoenix will eventually come home to its natural, failing roost.


Page 1 of the Democrats’ playbook is: accuse your opponents of what you, yourself, are doing. Then: act shocked that this activity is going on!

In election night TV interviews in Phoenxi, Goddard, Rotellini and Congressman-elect Ruben Gallego focused on mysterious “dark money” and complained about negative ads. But the party of CONTROL sets the standard for negative, truth-defying advertising and campaigning, the politics of personal destruction and identity. No one is shocked at CONTROL hypocrisy. The darling of Planned Parenthood, Michele Reagan, agrees with the CONTROL candidates on “dark money.” Goddard accused all the candidates “who are leading” of receiving “dark money.” Yet Barack Obama is the all-time champion of receiving illegal campaign contributions, especially bundled money from illegal international sources and stimulus money for unions funneled back into his and other Democrats’ campaign coffers.  Goddard also called corporate contributions to candidates “unprecedented,” leading to the questions: where has he been? And does he really think he is believable? Gallego complained about the Koch brothers supporting candidates seeking freedom for their constituents. CONTROL candidates have the low moral ground on the issue of campaign contributions; they just aren’t willing to admit it.

And incidentally, MSNBC — television’s home for socialism — reports that Democrats are the champions of dark money. The Washington Post, a leader of the left stream media, reported on Democrats’ love affair with dark money groups like the Democracy Alliance.

*CONTROL is our moniker for socialists and other candidates whose political party seeks ultimate — and unnecessary — control of your life.

Governor-Elect Ducey will have a Republican Legislature to Work with


Republicans will maintain control of the Arizona Legislature. Republicans are on their way to victory in 16 state Senate races, the party of CONTROL* has won 13 seats. The only issue in doubt is in District 6.

Former lawmakers Sylvia Allen (Republican) and Thomas O’Halleran (Independent) are locked in a very close race. With just over half the precincts reporting, O’Halleran leads by about 600 votes. Allen got into the race very late when the conservative incumbent, Chester Crandall, died in a horseback riding accident near Heber just days before the August primary. The late Crandall won unopposed, but Allen was able to replace him on the GOP ticket.

If Allen wins the seat, the GOP will have a 17-13 Senate majority. If O’Halleran wins the seat, the GOP will hold 16 seats, the party of CONTROL 13 and there would be one Independent seat.

Republicans are claiming 37 Arizona House of Representative seats, CONTROL 23 seats.

So Governor-elect Ducey will have a Republican majority to work with for the first two years of his first term.


Doug Ducey appears on his way to becoming Arizona’s next governor. Fellow Republicans are leading Democrats in all of the other statewide office elections with 1,103 of 1,566 precincts reporting in these state office contests.

Ducey, former state treasurer, leads Comrade Fred DuVal of the party of CONTROL 53-41 percent. The good news is that Arizona will avoid the record spending binges and budget deficits that DuVal would have accrued had he been elected. It would have been a repeat of the Napolitano years when the former governor spent money far faster that the state could generate revenues. But under Governor Ducey, fiscal sanity is a certainty.

We also believe — and certainly hope — Ducey’s administration will be friendly to life, liberty and family. He gave every intention to the Center for Arizona Policy that this would be the case, and we urge him to hold true.

In the race for attorney general, GOP Mark Brnovich has a lead of 66,000 votes over CONTROL candidate Felicia Rotellini, 53.4 percent to 46.6 percent.

Secretary of state race is a little closer. Liberal Republican Michele Reagan has 52 percent of the vote, surprising frequent CONTROL candidate and former attorney general, Terry Goddard, 48 percent.

Closer still is the race between Republican Diane Douglas and CONTROL’s David Garcia. Douglas leads by about 1,500 votes, with 50.87 percent of the vote to Garcia’s 49.08. Douglas wants to get rid of the Big Socialism education curriculum, Common Core. Garcia would be a disaster for Arizona’s children.

Jeff DeWit, another Republican, is running unopposed for state treasurer.

The party of CONTROL refused to allow its members to select candidates for governor or attorney general. No one other than Comrade DuVal, who wants to move Arizona forward communist style, or Rottelini, were allowed to compete for those nominations in the August primary election.


Conservative Congressmen Matt Salmon, Trent Franks, Paul Gosar and David Schweikert are all sailing to victory.

Salmon said: “Tonight’s election results make one thing exceedingly clear: Arizonans want their elected officials to get government out of the way and support policies that will let the private sector thrive and create jobs.”

CONTROL incumbents Kyrsten Sinema, Ron Barber, and Raul Grijalva are all on their way to re-election as well.

Ann Kirkpatrick, another CONTROL incumbent, is pulling away from Andy Tobin in a congressional race, and now leads by 5 percentage points with 177 of 327 precincts in.

Ruben Gallego (CONTROL) has sewn up election in the congressional seat held for many years by the retired Ed Pastor.

The top vote-getters, in order, for Arizona Corporation Commission are Republicans Doug Little and Tom Forese and then CONTROL’s Sandra Kennedy a distant third.


Among judges up for retention, Scott Bales is winning handily. He was appointed by former Gov. Janet Napolitano (CONTROL).


Prop 122, which will stem out of control federal government interference with Arizona, is barely ahead, by just one percent.

The Right to Try prop, 303, is winning big.

And as it has done numerous times, the attempt to raise state legislator pay (Prop 304) is losing bigtime.

In Phoenix, the unfunded/pension spiking madness is likely to continue. Prop 487 is up 55 to 45 percent.


All in all, it’s a good night for America and Arizona (on the 11th anniversary of The Arizona Conservative, No. 1 cultural commentator in the state). Though politics is downstream from culture, tonight’s results are a good sign that people have had enough of Big Government Socialism, the Obama Administration, and the do-nothing U.S. Senate under Harry Reid’s abdication of responsibility and leadership. This is also a great day for the sanctity of life, for families, and especially for free speech and religious liberty.

We remember the wisdom of President Reagan, one of the five truly great presidents in this nation, who said during his first inaugural address:

“We are a nation that has a government—not the other way around. And this makes us special among the nations of the Earth. Our government has no power except that granted it by the people. It is time to check and reverse the growth of government, which shows signs of having grown beyond the consent of the governed.”

Thank you for coming here to consult our election recommendations and coverage.

May God bless America.

* The reason we refer to Democrats as the party of CONTROL is because their radical philosophy is to try to control every aspect of your lives — to your detriment.

Ebola Czar Said to Be ‘Leading by Example’

By John Semmens – Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

Folder2 104Since he was appointed as President Obama’s “Ebola Czar,” Ron Klain has disappeared from sight. Presidential Press Secretary Josh Earnest tried to reassure the media, saying that “I recognize that all of you have not had a chance to see him and talk to him every day, but the president certainly has.”

Klain’s exceptionally “low profile” is “all according to plan,” Earnest said. “Ron is leading by example. The best way not to get the disease is by scrupulously avoiding contact with anyone who might be infected. By staying out of sight and not venturing forth to meet anyone for any reason he is keeping himself safe from infection.”

We are hoping that this exemplary self-discipline will serve as a model for voluntary compliance with the President’s desire that people take precautions on their own,” Earnest added. “The fact that Ron can do this by himself demonstrates that we do not need a quarantine on travelers from the west African nations currently being ravaged by the disease.”

Let me close by assuring the American people that their worst fear regarding this deadly disease has virtually no chance of coming about,” Earnest promised. “The president is, and will be, protected at all times. No one who has any prospect of carrying this infection will be permitted within spitting or sneezing range. The Secret Service has been instructed to use lethal force, if necessary, to insure his safety.”

NY Dems Warn Voters

The New York State Democratic Committee (NYSDC) has sent out letters to registered Party members warning them that they are being watched to see if they vote in this election. While the letter tried to assure the recipients that their ballots would be secret, it emphasized that “whether you vote is a matter of public record.”

NYSDC Chairman, former New York Governor David Patrick, characterized the note as a “friendly reminder. The Democratic Party has done its part to secure a lot of benefits for these people. It’s only fair that they do their share to help keep the cash flowing into the welfare programs.”

Patrick denied that the letters might be perceived as threats. “They’re no more threatening than having your big brother point out the importance of good behavior. We’re all one big happy family. Each member has got to do his or her part.”

Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY) argued that “the minimal effort we are asking pales in comparison to the fate that awaits Democratic voters if Republicans win, namely, a return to virtual slavery, as programs are slashed and people are forced to take jobs in order to support themselves.”

Rangel also suggested that “if the registered voter is unable or unwilling to cast a ballot himself, he at least owes it to the Party to give us advance notice so we can send a proxy to sub for him at the polls. He shouldn’t just let this opportunity to help elect Democrats go to waste.”

In related news, Senator Mary Landrieu (D-La) blamed her sagging poll numbers on “racism and sexism. I am truly ashamed that the citizens of my state are putting their prejudices ahead of their loyalty to me and the President. I’ve done everything I could to back President Obama’s program for America. Instead of thanks I’m getting the heave-ho because of the same kind of bigotry that has long stained Louisiana history.”

Republicans Manipulating Statistics for Political Gain

In remarks this week, former President Bill Clinton denounced GOP attempts to “cash-in” on people’s “misery” under Democratic policies and programs for “political gain.”

Republicans want voters to focus on the lack of economic growth and the huge number of people who can’t get jobs since Democrats took control of the federal government,” Clinton complained. “They want voters to overlook the flip side of this coin. Expansion of benefit programs have made work unnecessary for a growing segment of the population. The increased amount of leisure time our policies have made possible doesn’t show up in the statistics Republicans like to cite.”

Clinton expressed a hope that “the outmoded ‘work ethic’ of previous generations will be seen for what it really is—a sentence to ‘hard labor’ for minimal profit. Once voters realize that there is no shame in living a life free from drudgery, that their needs can be easily met through the generosity of government, they’ll come to their senses and vote Democrat. Ideally, this will happen sooner rather than later.”

While the former president exuded a barely concealed pessimism about this year’s elections, he was far more optimistic about 2016 “when the albatross of the ‘Obama brand’ is removed from around the neck of the Democratic Party. The same policies under a more competent Democratic leadership will, I think, be just the ticket for success at the polls two years from now.”

In related news, the New Mexico Center for Law and Poverty has filed suit to block a state law that would require childless adults to work, search for a job, or participate in community service or job training in order to qualify for government food stamps. Center Director Kim Posich insists that “the work requirement is the very same ‘involuntary servitude’ that was outlawed by the 13th Amendment to the US Constitution. If people don’t want to work that is their unalienable right. For the government to threaten to withhold subsistence as a method of coercing them to work is extortion, pure and simple.”

Administration Bureaucrat Says Canceled Health Insurance an “Invitation”

As more and more people are bounced out of health insurance plans they liked, Health and Human Services Regional Director Joanne Grossie insisted on calling the cancellations “invitations to obtain better plans.”

A lot of times people will lapse into being satisfied with an inferior product or service out of pure inertia,” Grossie maintained. “By outlawing substandard policies the Affordable Care Act forces people to upgrade to better plans.”

Grossie rejected the idea that a person might genuinely prefer a so-called substandard policy. “A single man might think he has no need to pay for coverage of gynecological services, maternity leave, or abortion, but our experts have determined that this is shortsighted and selfish,” Grossie said. “Every man is potentially capable of contributing to a woman’s need for such services and shouldn’t be allowed to shirk his responsibility to share in the cost of delivering them.”

The claim that a gay man has no need to pay for this type of coverage is another false argument,” she contended. “Unless he is castrated he still has the capacity to cause a pregnancy. To guard against this possibility he must have coverage.”

Reports that premiums are soaring for the “better plans” was characterized as a “phony controversy” by Grossie. “To get more, you have to expect to pay more. You may have thought you were happy driving a Chevy, but when the government upgrades you to a Cadillac you shouldn’t gripe that it costs more.”

DOJ Declines to Investigate Emerging Evidence of Vote Fraud

Recent reports of non-citizens voting, multiple voter registrations in different states for the same person, ballots cast by dead voters, and voting machines that flip votes from Republicans to Democrats are unworthy of further investigation, says US Attorney General Eric Holder.

First of all, there could be very good reasons why all of these alleged violations are bogus,” Holder declared. “For example, the notion that non-citizens shouldn’t be allowed to vote is, arguably, a human rights violation. Non-citizens are impacted by government policies. Why shouldn’t they have the right to participate in the selection of those who will make and implement these policies?”

Likewise, a person may own properties in several states and have a keen interest in policies that can affect the value of these properties in each of these states,” Holder pointed out. “Striking such a person from multiple voter registration rolls would deny him the opportunity to defend his property rights at the ballot box.”

Finally, everyone agrees that whatever voting irregularities might exist, they can only change outcomes when the voting is pretty evenly split between contenders,” the AG continued. “It’s not like a decisive margin for a particular candidate is going to be undone by any of these controversial voting practices. If voters are virtually split down the middle, I don’t see how it can be judged a serious disenfranchisement if either candidate is the one who ultimately takes office. Given this tiny impact I don’t believe investing effort to try to ferret out so-called cheating would be worthwhile or a good use of taxpayers’ dollars.”

Philadelphia Cracks Down on UberX

Lee Rudakewich’s car was impounded and held for $1,000 ransom by the Philadelphia Parking Authority. His crime: offering to drive a willing customer to his chosen destination.

Vince Fenerty, the Philadelphia Parking Authority’s Director, rejected the argument that the provided transportation occurring between consenting adults was no business of the City government. “In this city it is not sufficient that private individuals are satisfied with a transaction of this sort,” Fenerty said. “How a person uses his own car is within the purview of our authority. We do not approve of these unregulated uses.”

Fenerty contended that “the privilege of accepting money for giving a person a ride is not available to just anyone. The taxi companies in this city have paid a hefty sum for the exclusive right to provide such service. It is our duty to protect their monopoly as a quid pro quo.”

Neither was Fenerty impressed with the potential for innovations like UberX to help reduce traffic congestion and air pollution, which are “not part of the Authority’s mission. Let’s not forget that traffic congestion helps boost gasoline consumption and the tax revenues associated with that. As far as I’m concerned, people like Rudakewich represent a menace to the City’s revenue stream. There is no need for us to show him any mercy.”

Top Democrat Says Republicans Scarier than Ebola, ISIS

Democratic National Committee Woman, Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (Fla), agreed with CNN host Candy Crowley that Republicans are scarier than either the deadly Ebola virus or the ISIS terrorist army.

Bad as Ebola and ISIS, or ISIL as the President calls it, may be they have the saving grace of representing a nondiscriminatory threat to all Americans,” Wasserman-Schultz contended. “The depredations of the GOP are exclusively targeted against Democratic candidates and Democratic constituencies. If Republicans are successful in selling their message to the voters it will exclusively be Democrats who are turned out of office. It will be exclusively Democratic clienteles who will lose their champions of a wide array of government benefits and subsidies.”

So, my message to Democratic voters is not to be diverted from the very explicit threat to their way of life that a Republican victory on November 4th would impose on them,” the DNC Chair advised. “If you like free stuff and free time, if you don’t want to be harangued into taking a dreary dead end job, get out and vote for every Democrat you can.”

Kerry May Be on Way Out at State

Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) hints that Secretary of State John Kerry may be ousted sometime after the November elections are over. “At best, his performance at this job has been underwhelming,” Blumenthal asserted. “Many of his public statements evince a poor and almost dimwitted perception of the issues. He has grievously embarrassed both himself and President Obama.”

Anonymous White House officials complain that “Kerry is out of sync with the Administration. It’s not so much a case of being wrong about the President’s policies as it is too openly expressing them. On issue after issue Kerry’s candor is repeatedly disclosing matters that should have remained confidential.”

Kerry’s lack of discretion was contrasted to former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s “instinctive understanding of her role in this regard. Her bold, in-your-face ‘what difference does it make’ testimony before Congress on the Benghazi massacre effectively deflected GOP intrusion into the foreign policy prerogatives of the President. Kerry, on the other hand, has been drawing unwanted attention to the President’s intentions before they can become irreversibly solidified.”

A Satirical Look at Recent News

John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire column for The Arizona Conservative since 2005. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties that our nation’s Founding Fathers tried to protect.

Please do us a favor. If you use material created by The Arizona Conservative, give us credit, and DO NOT change the context. Thank you.

Gilbert School District Upholds Life and Law, but Danger of Leftist Board Members Remains

Gilbert is one of the most conservative cities in America. But even conservative cities are plagued by leftists gaining positions of power. And this was made apparent again today.

The news release from Alliance Defending Freedom arrived in my inbox this morning, stating: “Ariz. schools choose life-affirming curriculum.” But the headline doesn’t tell the whole story.

Gilbert’s public school board voted 3-2 in favor of complying with Arizona law and providing curriculum to students that encourages child birth over elective abortion.

The amazing thing is the governing board tasked with leading the education of public school students in one of the larger cities in our state has two members who want to teach children that 1) it’s okay to defy state law; and 2) that human life is not worthy of protection. This is the wrong message to send to students, faculty, and community members alike. And it’s why we recently editorialized about the need for change in our school boards and the flawed worldview perpetuated by the public schools.

Kudos to the three board members who sent a message to their students and the greater community to comply with law and to respect the sanctity of human life.

Lily Tram and Jill Humpherys voted no, claiming they needed more community input on whether or not to obey state law.Take this blog message as “community input”: uphold the sanctity of human life AND state law.

Thanks to ADF for sending a letter to the board and making a presentation on supporting the law and upholding the dignity of human life.

Amnesty Needed for ‘Shared Prosperity’

By John Semmens – Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

Folder2 104Labor Secretary Thomas Perez reassured the National Press Club that amnesty for illegal immigrants will be forthcoming after the mid-term elections.

Right now, it would be too risky for the President to declare the kind of big and bold legalization of the millions of undocumented persons in this country that everyone agrees is desperately needed,” Perez said. “The Republicans would use such an action to hammer Democrats running in Congressional races. Once the elections are past, though, there will be nothing anyone can do to impede this reform.”

Granting legal status to the millions of immigrants in this country illegally is, according to Perez, “a crucial piece of the puzzle for the President’s vision of shared prosperity. It’s long since past the time that the wealth being hoarded by Americans is more equitably shared with those less well off around the globe. The streams of people entering through our southern border are a small vanguard for the comprehensive redistribution that is long overdue.”

Perez cited Department of Homeland Security orders for an additional 34 million green cards as solid evidence of Obama’s intentions. “After November 4th we will be able to hit the ground running,” he boasted. “By 2016, not only those currently in the country, but millions more will have all the documentation they need to fully participate in American life, including driver’s licenses, public housing, food stamps and voting.”

Job Losses Due to Minimum Wage Hike Tolerable

Charlie Christ, the Democratic candidate for governor in Florida brushed aside the prospect that 50,000 low wage workers would lose their jobs if the legal minimum wage is raised.

First of all, 50,000 is a relatively small number compared to the total workforce in the state,” Christ pointed out. “Few will notice them or be aware of the cause of their unemployment. And it won’t be as if their suffering would be severe. Most will qualify for government assistance. So, I think adding another 50,000 to the state’s welfare cohort is a tolerable price for Florida to bear.”

Second, the much larger portion of low wage workers who hold onto their, now higher-paying, jobs will be eternally grateful to the government that boosted their income,” Christ continued. “Their votes will help solidify progressive control of the levers of power and allow further gains in the redistribution of wealth over the coming years.”

Emerging Evidence of Vote Fraud Attributed to “Bad Luck”

Several recent events indicating that Democrat efforts to steal the upcoming election were labeled “bad luck” by various spokespersons for the Party.

In Arizona, a man wearing a “Citizens for a Better Arizona” T-shirt was observed stuffing hundreds of vote-by-mail envelopes into a ballot box in Maricopa County. The man refused to identify himself and complained that his actions were “not anyone’s business, but mine. It’s supposed to be a secret ballot. No one has the right to watch me, much less question what I’m doing.”

In an “off-the-record” interview, an Arizona Democratic Party official bemoaned the negative impression the video of the ballot-stuffing episode has caused for the Party. “Under normal circumstances no one would’ve seen anything,” he lamented. “Now because of a video taken by an overzealous poll watcher it appears as if we are cheating. It’s pure bad luck.”

In Chicago, Illinois Republican state representative candidate Jim Moynihan noticed that the voting machine automatically switched his intended vote for GOP candidates into votes for Democrats. Cook County Board of Elections representative Jim Scalzitti attributed the phenomenon to “calibration error. The algorithm is supposed to flip one out of every five votes. We don’t know whether the formula misfired or whether it was just bad luck that a high profile Republican voter who was paying attention was that one-in-five voter in this particular instance.”

It’s not like the Democrats are stealing every vote,” Scalzitti rationalized. “Sometimes we lose. Over the long run, though, the one-in-five formula has been found to be a pretty reliable buffer. Even if the GOP candidates get 60% of the intended votes, the 20% flip brings their percentage down to 48%–enough to ensure that all but the most heavily detested Democrats are safely elected.”

In North Carolina, State Board of Elections officials discovered that 145 names on voter rolls belonged to illegal immigrants who were granted “Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals” status by President Obama. Attorney General Eric Holder called the discovery “unfortunate. We have been doing all we can to discourage these kinds of scrutinizing of voter rolls. Identifying individual voters like this flies in the face of the whole concept of a secret ballot. We will be investigating this and assessing the penalties we deem warranted.”

In Colorado, Meredith Hicks, director of the political canvassing group Work for Progress, was covertly recorded urging that campaign workers retrieve discarded and unused ballots and cast them for progressive candidates. “If the owner of the vote-by-mail ballot doesn’t want to cast it himself there’s no good reason why we shouldn’t salvage it for our cause,” Hicks said. Hicks’ characterized the covert recording of her illegal strategy by conservative filmmaker James O’Keefe as “underhanded. This invasion of my privacy is an unfair and unfortunate intervention that may encourage some of our workers to shun this opportunity to try to ensure victory for the forces of good in November.”

Kerry Says Israel Responsible for ISIL

US Secretary of State John Kerry maintains that Israel is the reason why ISIL exists.

Let’s face it, if there were no Jews in the Middle East there would be no need for ISIL,” Kerry argued. “The misguided attempt to provide a homeland for Europe’s displaced Jews after World War II was a provocation. The land currently occupied by Israel was duly conquered by Muslims fourteen hundred years ago. Any effort to roll back any part of that conquest gives Muslims a legitimate grievance.”

Kerry suggested that “a better choice for a Jewish homeland would have been a less volatile location like Madagascar or Alaska. That’s if we assume that one was even necessary. I mean, the number of Jews in the world is tiny, only 12 million. There are about 12 million Mormons. They don’t have their own country. Why should the similarly small population of Jews be accorded this privilege?”

In contrast, there are 1.5 billion Muslims in the world,” the Secretary observed. “If we truly believe in democracy and majority rule shouldn’t we be siding with this substantial majority instead of the Jewish minority? Perhaps resisting this democratic principle is at the root of all our troubles in the Middle East. Maybe we need to assess whether we are on the wrong side of history here.”

Homeland Security Confiscates Underwear

The Department of Homeland Security nipped a budding threat to Americans’ safety by seizing dozens of women’s panties from a Kansas City boutique. The panties displayed an unauthorized “KC” logo on them.

This logo is owned by the Kansas City baseball team,” explained Secretary Jeh Johnson. “For the team to be deprived of the revenues to which they are entitled tears at the very fabric of our nation.”

Peregrine Honig, owner of the boutique, said “we were only trying to show our support for the team. It’s been nearly 30 years since the Royals were last in the World Series. I wasn’t mounting an attempt to overthrow the government or anything.”

Johnson declined to say whether the seizure of merchandise would be the end of the matter. “We are reserving our options,” he declared. “If we need to put this shop out of business and jail the proprietor as an example to others is something we’ll have to consider.”

Dem Insists that Republicans Are Responsible for Obama’s Low Ratings

DNC Chairwoman Representative Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-Fla) contends that President Obama’s low approval ratings with voters is due to “persistent GOP resistance to his policy agenda. Voters showed that they decisively support the President when they reelected him in 2012. Instead of helping him act on this mandate, though, Republicans have worked to thwart him at every turn. They have a terrible record, which I’m sure will be repudiated at the polls on November 4th.”

Wasserman-Schultz ticked off the issues she feels will redound in her Party’s favor in the upcoming vote. “The electorate wants higher spending, yet Republicans have repeatedly characterized many of the President’s programs as ‘wasteful,’” she complained. “Voters know that the President’s plan for open borders and amnesty are the best way to guarantee that progressive policies can be entrenched in our government. The influx of reliably Democratic voters from Mexico and Central America are a key to achieving this goal. Voters also appreciate Democratic efforts to move more people out of the workday rat race and into government support programs like public housing, nutritional sustenance, and even free cell phones. They’ll vote Democrat if they want to continue these vital initiatives.”

The DNC Chair said she understands that many Democratic candidates are wary of associating themselves with the President in this election cycle, but maintained that “this is wrongheaded thinking. We mustn’t let ourselves be swayed by the propaganda that the President’s ideas are being rejected. If we buy into this message we won’t have a mandate to move forward when our Party wins.”

Unmentioned in Wasserman-Schultz’s list of the benefits the government has provided under Obama were the funds invested in giving test rabbits Swedish massages, teaching monkeys how to gamble, and putting lions, monkeys, rats and cows on treadmills. These dubious expenditures were a few of the hundreds of instances of wasteful government spending cited by Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla) in his annual Wastebook compilation of ridiculous and outrageous items in the federal government’s budget. “I think it’s safe to say that if these types of waste of the taxpayers’ money were more widely known, voters might be tempted to tar-and-feather the Democrats than to vote for them,” Coburn speculated.

NY Governor Says Safe Act Needs More Vigorous Enforcement

New York’s Governor Andrew Cuomo (D) says that despite barring over 30,000 individuals deemed “too unstable” to be allowed to possess firearms, “the State’s ‘Safe Act’ stills leaves too many free to obtain these weapons.”

In my view, anyone who thinks he needs a gun is, prima facie, too unstable to be allowed to have one,” Cuomo ventured. “This would include virtually every member of the National Rifle Association and a considerable portion of registered Republicans. Can a civilized society really condone the possession of weapons by such people?”

As an example, Cuomo cited a recent statement made by the Republican candidate for the US Senate in Iowa, State Senator Joni Ernst. “This woman believes it should be her right to have a gun in case the government decides her rights are no longer important,” Cuomo incredulously recounted. “This is taking individual freedom too far. In our democracy we have empowered our elected representatives to draw the boundaries of where everyone’s rights end and government authority begins. Views to the contrary are obviously evidence of mental instability.”

The Governor said that he hoped that “by speaking out on this issue doctors would be inspired to more closely scrutinize patients for instability and that local police would be more restrictive about who they issue permits to.”

In an ideal world, only government law enforcement personnel would be permitted to bear arms,” Cuomo maintained. “If personal possession of a firearm were universally outlawed anyone spotted with a gun could simply be shot on sight by police. Threats to the civil order would be more quickly and easily suppressed. Important government officials would be more thoroughly protected. And the domestic tranquility promised by the US Constitution could become a reality.”

North Korea Announces New Travel Restrictions

The Government of North Korea is closing its borders to tourism because of fears it might spread Ebola to the reclusive nation.

The nation’s lone tourist, former NBA basketball player Dennis Rodman, is reportedly “heartbroken that his desire to visit with his ‘best friend,’” dictator Kim Jung Un, may be impeded by “this cruel barrier.”

A Satirical Look at Recent News

John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire column for The Arizona Conservative since 2005. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties that our nation’s Founding Fathers tried to protect.

Please do us a favor. If you use material created by The Arizona Conservative, give us credit, and DO NOT change the context. Thank you.

Vote NO on These Judges

Vote NO on these judges. They are either Democrats or were appointed by leftist Governor Napolitano. As such, they are less likely to uphold life and freedom:

Supreme Court

Justice Scott Bales

Court of Appeals-Division I

Diane Johnsen

Patricia Orozco

Court of Appeals-Division II

Garye Vasquez

Superior Court-Maricopa County

Aimee Anderson

Benjamin Norris

Dan Martin

David Talamante

Dawn Bergin

Dean Fink

Edward Bassett

Emmet Ronan

George Foster

Gerald Porter

Hugh Hegyi

Richard Gama

Joan Sinclair

John Rea

Joseph Kreamer

Joseph Welty

Randall Warner

Sally Duncan

Samuel Myers

Susanna Pineda

Bill Brotherton (former legislator/anti-life)

Superior Court-Pima County

Charles Harrington

Javier Chon-Lopez

K.C. Stanford

Superior Court-Pinal County

Brenda Oldham

Gilberto Figueroa

Kevin White

Comrade DuVal Urges Arizona ‘Forward’ — Code Language for Marxists and Socialists

Fred DuVal, candidate for governor of Arizona for the party that wants to completely CONTROL your life, is taking a page out of the Soviet/Barack Obama playbook. He’s calling on Arizona to move “forward” by electing him.

“Forward” has deep historical and political context. The slogan “Forward!” was originated by European Marxists and radicals. It was to reflect the march of history, right past capitalism and into socialism and communism.

Another Marxist, Barack Hussein Obama, has used the “forward” lingo as well.

Furthermore: Vladimir Lenin founded the publication “Vpered” (the Russian word for “forward”) in 1905. Soviet film-maker Dziga Vertov produced a propaganda documentary titled, “Forward, Soviet.”

America has collected enough evidence to know better. The socialists and Marxists have moved us backwards. In fact, they have us pointing in reverse — through their control of the lives of millions of people in numerous cities and states, and the control they exert over media, schools, colleges, institutions and foundations. They want to punish, to marginalize you just for disagreeing with them.

Don’t be fooled. Do not vote for comrade DuVal, who doesn’t really have a clue about advancing us forward as a state or a culture.

Fred DuVal: Bad for Arizona … Great for Big Out of Control Government

The Navajo Nation Council’s Naabik’iyátí’ Committee has endorsed socialist Fred DuVal, representing the party of CONTROL for Arizona governor. This is hardly surprising, but it is sad that Native Americans continue to support the socialists who have kept them on a cycle of dependency, economic stagnation and hopelessness for decade after decade. The last thing Native Americans need is more socialist policies and more dependency on government.

Indian reservations are pockets of poverty where unemployment, social problems, and alcoholism abound. If the party of CONTROL was actually helping Native Americans we would have seen changes for the better by now. But reservation life and the problems that grip them have changed little since the 20th century.

No, Fred DuVal will not change that.

But Fred DuVal – if elected governor – will do his best impersonation of Barack Hussein Obama. That will be disastrous for men, women and children in Arizona.

It will be wonderful for Planned Parenthood and for those who benefit from Arizona’s over-spending of money it doesn’t have. We will likely see more of what happened under fellow traveler Janet Napolitano: gimmicks, smoke and mirrors and unsustainable spending and debt.

And speaking of Planned Parenthood, DuVal is already campaigning for youths to do end-runs around parental consent laws protecting under-age girls from the profit-driven abortion mills.

DuVal and Democrats talk a good education game. But public education has gone down, down, downhill because of their over-influence on K-12, public colleges and universities and the governing boards that control them.

If DuVal is elected in November, you can kiss prosperity good-bye. You will work longer into the year before you stop working for “Uncle Fred” and can begin keeping your own money to spend on your family’s needs. Fred will be fantastic for Big Government, Big out of control Government in your face.

The party of CONTROL will step all over the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Its members do whatever they think they can get away with. The socialists are taking our country and our culture down. We are not progressing as a nation, and it’s because of them.

Sadly, there are also too many Republicans who are running Left and that is to the state’s detriment.

Vote for FREEDOM.


Just heard on the radio that several school board elections have been cancelled in Arizona. That’s because there are so many uncontested elections. Which is to the detriment of Arizona and its students. There are too many leftists serving on, some entrenched on, our school boards, advocating for the same old wrong-headed policies that promote political correctness over real learning and education.


Also in the news lately: Jeff Scott of Phoenix Radio 1100 A.M. crowed about Arizona’s three large state universities all ranking in the top 30 of the latest LGBT university ratings. Speaking of PC over-riding real education and learning! That is sad.

Think of how students struggling with same-sex attraction and gender confusion would actually be helped if this was the newscast: Arizona ranks high nationally as a leading provider of counseling for those struggling with gender and sexuality issues.

Vote NO on Mesa Over-Ride

We recommend a “NO” vote on all public school over-rides, including Mesa’s.

There is a mistaken notion that any and all spending on education improves education. That is completely false.

Public schools never have enough money and continue to increase spending. The money raised from over-rides literally disappears into the bricks and concrete of the school structures and doesn’t improve the quality of education.

The one thing that will truly benefit public education in Arizona and America is education reform. We need to start with a different worldview governing the schools. The humanistic/evolutionary/socialist/politically correct school of modern America is flawed and failing. We need an overhaul of the school boards throughout the state and nation. Today’s educators cannot themselves successfully negotiate primers from the 1890s. The colleges of education at the University of Arizona, Arizona State University, and Northern Arizona are not producing quality teachers who can truly prepare students for college and the work force. These universities also suffer from bad worldview, which is imparted on education students.

Along with a change of worldview, citizens like you must demand a complete removal of Common Core.

No wonder that many industries are down on Arizona’s public education system. No wonder we have low information voters. The schools are failing us, yet they keep taking more and more of our money.

The over-ride mania that instills fear into politicians and groupthink across the land is hindering education — not helping it.

Vote “NO” as a matter of routine on all over-rides.

Demand true education reform.

Proposition Recommendations

Proposition recommendations by Americans for Prosperity Arizona Chapter:

  • YES on Arizona Proposition 122: Rejection of Unconstitutional Federal Actions  —  Prop 122 will provide Arizonans with a way to protect themselves from overreaching and harmful federal policies.  AFP-Arizona strongly endorses Prop 122.  
  • YES on Arizona Proposition 303: Use of Investigational Drugs, Biomedical Products and Devices — Prop 303 would allow terminally ill patients in Arizona to procure experimental drugs that have not completed the full FDA trial process (but have been deemed safe by FDA).  AFP-Arizona strongly encourages citizens to vote YES on Prop 303 to protect the health and safety of terminally ill patients and strike a blow for the freedom of individuals to make their own health care decisions.
  • NO on Maricopa County Proposition 480 - Prop 480 would spend $935 million to fund new and updated facilities for the Maricopa Integrated Health Systems.  If passed, the proposition would result in a significant property tax increase, especially on small businesses.  A typical small business with $1 million in assessed valuation will end up paying $7,800 for this bond measure.  Maricopa County taxpayers already greatly subsidize health care for the less fortunate, and there are already sufficient health care options, including vast private hospital systems, available to Maricopa County residents.  Prop 480 has little accountability for how the money is used, and it would subsidize government health facilities in unfair competition with private health care enterprises.
  • NO on Pima County Proposition 415 – Prop 415 would issue $22 million in bonds for the expansion and renovation of the Pima Animal Care Facility.  Pima County taxpayers are already being subjected to a property tax levy increase of $45 million, or approximately $50 on a typical house, and the Animal Care Center has already received a $1 million increase in its operating budget for expanded shelter operations, medical treatment, and spay/neuter programs.
  • YES on City of Phoenix Proposition 487 - Prop 487 would solve the City’s nearly $1.5 billion unfunded pension liability problem by moving new employees to a plan similar to the 401k plans that are common in the private sector.   Prop 487 would fix the City’s scandalous $190 million pension spiking problem by limiting the excess pension benefits given to current employees.  

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