Congressional Candidate Information
· I will work to reduce regulations and keep laws favorable to business for aspiring entrepreneurs, employers, and employees in Arizona. I will fight to reduce wasteful spending of your hard earned taxes and a balanced budget that will ensure prosperity for future generations.
· I am currently working with state legislators to assist in passing legislation that will restore due process in the family courts. We must stop parents from losing their rights and their children because of a bitter divorce or a financially incentivized child protection officer, medical provider or judge. As your Congressman, I will continue to fight for parents who have lost their children through government sanctioned kidnapping.
Working for strong border protection from the foreign invasion
· Seeks to rebuild America’s economy, which under President Trump has grown to be the strongest economy in world history
· Wants to strengthen Obamacare
· Favors overturning the Citizens United decision by the Supreme Court that provides free speech protections for corporations just like private citizens have
· Staunch gun control advocate
· Believes in unscientific global warming
· Demands federal investigations of all killings or injuries resulting in altercations with police
· Wants to demilitarize police
· Favors the abortion killings of pre-born children
· Favors special rights for transgender, including right to serve in military
By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News
Portland city officials are demanding that the federal law enforcement personnel protecting the federal courthouse remove the barricades they installed around the building. Mayor Ted Wheeler (D) pointed out that “we have not issued a permit allowing these structures for several good reasons. First, part of the barricade obstructs a bike lane. Second, denying protesters access to the building interferes with their freedom to air their grievances against police brutality.”
Wheeler brushed aside contentions that the vandalism and arson the protesters want to inflict on the courthouse are not constitutionally protected actions, saying “the notion that free speech must actually be confined to using words or that the airing of grievances must take the form of presenting petitions asking for redress is pure ‘white privilege’ talking. Some people aren’t good with words or are too illiterate to write or sign petitions. They are more comfortable expressing themselves by throwing rocks, swinging baseball bats, and lighting fires. Federal storm-troopers have no authority to infringe on these alternate modes of making one’s point.”
House Intelligence Committee chairman Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) seconded “Mayor Wheeler’s complaint against unwarranted federal interference. There is a historical precedent for a local government ousting an unwanted federal presence in their city. In 1861, unwanted federal troops were driven from Fort Sumter by the forceful actions of local South Carolina authorities. Today, Trump’s insistence that the street violence going on in Portland and elsewhere is intolerable is a matter of opinion. The people of Portland didn’t elect Trump to rule their city. They elected Mayor Wheeler. It is Mayor Wheeler’s opinion on what is tolerable that should guide how the city is run, not Trump’s.”
Fellow Mayor Eric Garcetti (D-Los Angeles) also backed Wheeler’s position, calling the nightly street violence “a demonstration of the best democratic ideals. I know it makes some people uncomfortable to see parts of their city besmirched by boisterous displays of differing political views. They would prefer a more peaceful and orderly interaction between differing political factions. But the preference for peace and order cannot be allowed to override the freedom to act of those who disagree with this preference.”
In a bid to show his solidarity with the rioters, Mayor Wheeler and his phalanx of taxpayer-funded bodyguards attempted to join the “mostly peaceful” rioters only to be jeered at by the mob shouting at him to “quit your job.” As the mob tried to breach the barricades around the courthouse by smashing the fences and lighting fires between the barricade and the building, federal agents fired tear gas into the crowd. A teary-eyed Mayor Wheeler and his bodyguards then decided to call it a night and retreated to his well-guarded residence.
Meanwhile, in Philadelphia District Attorney Larry Krasner vowed “to arrest and prosecute any federal agent who attempts to enforce the law in this city” calling it “an infringement on the Mayor’s prerogative to enforce or ignore the law as he sees fit. We live in a democracy and the voters’ choice for mayor cannot be overruled by the President of the United States.”
Fauci Violates Mask & Social Distancing Protocols
After wearing his face mask to throw out the ceremonial first pitch of the 2020 baseball season at the game between the New York Yankees and the Washington Nationals, coronavirus guru Dr. Anthony Fauci returned to his seat in the stands between two of his friends. Despite thousands of empty seats, these three spectators sat adjacent to each other. While the other two wore their masks, Fauci was photographed with his mask under his chin—a style popularized by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) and former Vice-President Joe Biden (D).
Fauci’s actions contradict what he has insisted are necessary if broader attendance by common people at sporting events is to be permitted. The Doctor defended his deviation from his own recommendations by pointing out “I have the unusual privilege of having been tested for COVID numerous times—including just 24 hours before the game. I am COVID negative, so there was no risk to those sitting right next to me. My friends are just ordinary people who have not been tested, so they dutifully wore their masks in order to signal their intention to protect me from being infected by them.”
Fauci admitted that his companions’ masks “were more symbolic than functional. Numerous tests have shown that the virus particles are much smaller than the gaps between the threads of the masks. Expecting the masks to prevent exhaled virus particles from escaping is like expecting a screen door to block the wind. A few of the particles will hit the threads flush and be blocked, but the vast majority will sail right through. My recommendation for people to wear masks is a psychological ploy to reinforce awareness of the virus and to discourage people from unnecessarily venturing outside of their homes.”
Minnesota AG Says Cops Shouldn’t Respond to Rapes
Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison (D) says that “unless there is clear evidence that a rapist is still at the same location as the victim, police should not be dispatched to the crime scene, but should refer the victim to a social worker. Look, the victim has already suffered enough trauma. At this point she needs medical attention and psychological counseling not police interrogation.”
Ellison downplayed the idea that a police presence at the crime scene would help preserve evidence and improve the chance that the perpetrator would ultimately be apprehended, contending that “getting an early start on the healing process is probably more important than arresting a suspect. After all, the line between consensual sex and rape is often blurry. The suspected rapist might have had very good reasons for his actions. The issue of whether the encounter was or wasn’t rape could be controversial. Either way, though, the victim’s need for social services is clear and indisputable. Getting a quick start on this aspect of the encounter seems a higher priority to me.”
The Attorney General went on to argue that “rape isn’t the only instance in which it might be better if police don’t get involved. As we saw in the George Floyd case, if social workers had been called instead of police he would still be alive today. So, I think what we need to do is make people aware that they have an alternative to calling 911. If we could establish a similar three digit phone number for people to call in order to get a quick response from a social worker, fewer people would be killed by cops and more people would get the counseling they urgently need.”
China Urges American Voters to “Oust Anti-Progressive Trump”
The the Chinese Communist Party-run China Global Television Network (CGTN) issued a video plea to American voters asking them to vote President Trump out of office.
“The coronavirus pandemic gives Americans an unprecedented opportunity to end capitalist oppression in their country and join the progressive states of the world,” CGTN broadcaster Dung Chow said. “In China we have conquered the virus using severe lockdowns, pervasive surveillance, and harsh penalties for violators. But in America under Trump people have been inexplicably left free in many places to deviate from the stern measures recommended by experts like Dr. Fauci.”
The broadcast ended with an entreaty for voters “to reject the incompetent individualism that Trump has allowed to ravage the country and opt for the collective security that our great friend Joe Biden is offering as the better alternative.”
Charlamagne Tha God & Biden Disagree on Racism
This week the Democrat nominee for President Joe Biden declared Donald Trump to be “the nation’s first racist president.”
Host of the “Breakfast Club” radio talk show Charlamagne Tha God, who was previously insulted by Biden’s proclamation that any black who doesn’t vote for him “ain’t black,” took offense. “Joe Biden should shut the eff up forever for saying something so stupid,” he said. “Lyndon Johnson freely used the N-word when referring to blacks. FDR incarcerated more than a hundred thousand Americans of Japanese descent because of their race. Woodrow Wilson segregated the federal bureaucracy. Twelve other presidents owned slaves. And all but one were white. It would be more accurate to say that every president except Obama was likely a racist.”
Apprised of Charlamagne’s remarks, Biden hastened to agree that “former President Obama is definitely not a racist. As for the others, just let me point out that Delaware, the state I represented in the US Senate, was once a slave state. Perhaps my perspectives on the previous presidents was influenced by this fact. I couldn’t have repeatedly won reelection to the Senate if I’d gone around calling all those great men racists just because they owned slaves.”
Michigan Gov Cuts $115 Million from Police
Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich) issued an executive order cutting $115 million from the State Police budget. In addition, she also cut $392 million from the Department of Corrections. She characterized the cuts as a “crime reduction” measure.
“I got the idea from the way we are recording and reporting the coronavirus statistics,” she said. “The more tests we take the more COVID-positive cases we find. This makes the pandemic look worse than it really is. Well, what if the same is true of our state’s crime statistics? If we put fewer police out there fewer crimes will be uncovered. If we have fewer prisons to house convicted offenders the population of incarcerated persons will decline. This will make the state seem more law-abiding than it really is.”
Whitmer defended this statistical manipulation, calling it “good for the state’s economy. A lower reported crime rate will attract more businesses and residents to our state. This, in turn, will boost state tax collections. The increased revenues will enable us to fund more social programs and garner more votes for the Democratic Party in subsequent elections. It’s a ‘win-win’ outcome for all Michiganders.”
Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden called Whitmer’s action “an important breakthrough that has put her back in the race to be my vice-presidential running mate. This is the kind of creative and inspired leadership this nation needs to recover from the mismanagement that has characterized the Trump Administration.”
CNN Host Flabbergasted
CNN talking head Don Lemon professed himself “flabbergasted” by US Attorney General William Barr’s characterization of the violent protests following the death of George Floyd as “extreme.”
“How can an old white guy like Barr comprehend the righteous rage of people protesting the murder of an innocent black man by the Minneapolis Police?” Lemon asked. “How can he not perceive the justice of tearing down the society that makes crimes like the one perpetrated against Floyd possible? Looted merchandise, burned down buildings, and a few random deaths seem a small price to pay for the kind of transformation the protesters are seeking.”
In related news, Lemon flunked the same cognitive test that President Trump aced last year. His inability to tell whether the animal pictured in one of the questions on the test was an elephant, hippo, or rhino was his undoing. Fellow CNN talking head Chris Cuomo administered the test and raucously mocked Lemon for “being dumber than Trump.”
NYC’s Occupy City Hall Camp’s Legacy of Filth
After dispersing a gang of protesters camping in Lower Manhattan this week, police discovered that the residents had been using a nearby subway ventilation grate as a toilet. A disgusted neighborhood resident described witnessing “many individuals take turns squatting and sh****g right out in full view of everyone walking along the sidewalk.”
Mayor Bill de Blasio apologized “for evicting these people. Exercising basic bodily functions is both a natural and a human right protected by the US Constitution. The notion that it should be done privately behind closed doors and in a properly designed facility is a middle class prejudice that I hope we can eventually overcome. But there were just too many complaints from the taxpaying health nuts living and working nearby to let this go on.”
In related news, de Blasio vowed to sue if Trump orders federal agents to defend federal property in New York City. “The people of New York City have an inalienable right to destroy the property of the government oppressing them,” he said. “The Boston Tea Party established this fundamental principle of our democracy way back in 1773.”
Chicago Mayor Explains Reluctance to Accept Fed Aid
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot (D) says she doesn’t want President Trump’s assistance to combat the ongoing nightly massacres of mostly black city residents. She disputed Trump’s assertion that her City is shortchanging the black community by not taking stronger steps to tamp down the violence.
“It is not for a white man to say whether a black woman’s handling of law enforcement shortchanges her people,” Mayor Lightfoot maintained. “The voters elected me, not him. I should be left alone to decide what steps are needed. Federal intervention is not one of the steps I want to see taken.”
Trump called Lightfoot’s position “mystifying. Seventy-five percent of the people being murdered in Chicago are black, many of them very young children. This is horrendous carnage. We cannot allow criminals to kill at will. This needs to be stopped. We’re offering to assist the local police force with a surge of some of the best crime fighters in the nation. I don’t see how this offer of assistance hurts the law-abiding people of Chicago.”
Lightfoot pointed out that “what Trump neglects to mention is that more than 70% of the murders are committed by blacks. These are the people I’m afraid will get hurt by a too aggressive anti-crime effort of the 200 federal agents he wants to send to Chicago.”
Satirical Look at Recent News
John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire for The Arizona Conservative since 2005. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties our Founding Fathers tried to protect.” His work has been cited on the Rush Limbaugh program.
Please do us a favor. If you use material created by The Arizona Conservative, give us credit and DO NOT change the context. Thank you.
Congressional Candidate Information
Ann Marie Ward
· Federal education grants and loans must be restructured to match identified job markets. We need to continue to support career and technical education, school choice for our parents, and apprenticeship programs that prepare our youth for the workplace.
· As an avid shooter, I’m a strong proponent of our 2nd Amendment.
· Our farmers, ranchers, and miners are the backbone of our economy. We must fight to protect these critical Arizona industries.
· Arizona has a history of leading the way on water management. With the desire for continued growth and development, we must ensure that we have sustainable water plans that will support our industries and population.
· We need a strong border, and clear policy, to stop illegal immigration, drug trafficking, and human trafficking.
· Continued access to public lands is vital to the rural Arizona economy. Responsible, effective and efficient forest management is critical to protecting our watershed and preventing devastating forest fires that destroy our mountain communities.
· We must fight to roll back burdensome government regulations from the overreaching bureaucrats in Washington, D.C. in order to support local industry and promote economic growth.
· A strong military is imperative to defending the values of our country from foreign enemies and we owe a debt to those who serve in our military and their families, and we must protect them. We must fight for our veterans to be able to receive the care they need and ensure our armed forces have the funding and support they deserve. Veterans issues should no longer be only a campaign platform, they must be solved.
· Our Constitutional right to keep and bear arms is absolute and I oppose efforts to create a national gun registry and other anti-gun legislation that erodes our gun rights. My strong support of the 2nd Amendment has earned me a career “A” voting record from the NRA and Gun Owners of America.
· The U.S. national debt is now more than $22 trillion. Yet, the Federal Government continues to borrow over 40% of every dollar it spends. I will continue to support true spending cuts and a Balanced Budget Amendment to the Constitution, which is why I was named “Hero of the Taxpayer” by Citizens Against Government Waste.
· As Chairman of the Congressional Western Caucus and Chairman of the House Subcommittee on Minerals and Energy, I have been a leader in Congress for U.S. energy independence. I’ve also worked tirelessly to open up federal lands in Arizona to reasonable usages for agriculture and natural resource development.
· Obamacare is one of the most costly pieces of big government legislation ever rammed through the Congress and I have voted repeatedly for repeal. I support patient-centered reforms that preserve your right to see the doctor of your choice, protects small businesses, and lowers costs.
· I support President Trump’s border wall and have worked with the Trump Administration to finally address the threats posed by our porous borders. I fought the Obama Administration’s amnesty efforts, including those led by the so-called “Gang of 8,” and continue to be an outspoken leader on border security. I’ve earned an A+ from NumbersUSA and 100% from Federation for American Immigration Reform.
· A strong, reliable infrastructure promotes interstate commerce, creates economic growth and prosperity, and creates more jobs and stability for our families. As Co-Chairman of the I-11 Caucus, I have focused on expanding I-11 into a full-blown interstate between Phoenix and Las Vegas, connecting two major metropolitan areas which remain the only major urban areas of their size that remain unlinked.
· By cutting red tape and regulations, lowering all taxes, and demanding fair trade policies, we can grow our economy and create better paying jobs. Economic growth originates from the hard-working entrepreneurial spirit of the American people and the best thing we can do to reignite job growth in this country is to get the federal government out of the way. My support for pro-growth policies has earned me a 100% from the National Federation of Independent Business, the Small Business and Entrepreneurship Council, and the Campaign for Working Families.
· Our nation must honor its commitment to those who have served our country, and to the families of those who’ve made the ultimate sacrifice. This includes making sure we keep our promises with respect to health care and retirement benefits. I will never support harmful cuts to military spending in order to fund costly, liberal, big government programs. I was a leader in exposing the abuses at the VA and helped institute reforms that protect our veterans.
· Maintaining national security is one of the federal government’s primary responsibilities under the Constitution. We must ensure the people of the United States are protected by providing for our common defense. But it’s also important that we not forget our national debt of more than $22 trillion. Congress needs to work with the Pentagon to identify wasteful and duplicative programs that can be consolidated or removed in order to ensure our defense budget is being spent responsibly. My support for a strong national defense earned me a 100% from the American Security Council.
· Our core religious freedoms, guarded by the First Amendment, are under assault by progressives and social justice warriors. They want to silence those who embrace traditional values and institute morally-relative policies that tear apart our social fabric. I will continue to staunchly defend our religious liberties which is why I’ve earned a 100% from the Christian Coalition, Concerned Women of America, Eagle Forum, Faith & Freedom Coalition, and the Family Research Council.
· I believe in the sanctity of life and have spent my career protecting the rights of the unborn. But being pro-life is about more than trying to end this tragic practice, which is why I’ve also worked to reduce barriers to adoption, and promote policies that support groups offering hope and assistance to mothers facing crisis pregnancies. My efforts have earned me a 100% from National Right to Life.
· One of the signature accomplishments of the Trump Administration is federal tax reform. In addition to providing economic stimulus that has resulted in the fast economic growth we’ve seen in a generation, it has allowed small businesses to make capital investments that have helped create new jobs and brought unemployment to historic lows. I’ve signed Americans for Tax Reform’s Taxpayer Protection Pledge and earned a 100% from Americans for Prosperity, 92% from the National Tax Limitation Committee, 90% from the National Taxpayers Union.
· We must protect Social Security for our seniors now and for future generations. I promise to fight to ensure that Social Security is not privatized.
· Healthcare is a right.
· Cut taxes and base economy on clean energy.
· Prison system is racist, opposes mass incarceration, War on Drugs is a failure and racist
· Favors net neutrality
· Is a gun owner.
· Favors legalization of recreational marijuana
· Path to citizenship must be less intimidating
· Voter ID laws are discriminatory