56 Percent Better Off Than Four Years Ago

A Gallup poll of registered voters found that 56 percent of respondents say they are better off than they were before Donald Trump was elected four years ago. Thirty-two percent say they are worse off and 12 percent say they are about the same. The 56 percent was lower than the 61 percent who said they were better off in February of this year, but still higher than the 45 percent recorded in 2012 when Barack Obama was reelected president.

Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden dismissed these results, calling them “irrelevant. Virtually every poll taken over the last several months has shown me defeating Trump by a wide margin. That’s because as good as Trump’s policies have made voters feel, they know they will do better under a Biden-Harris administration. Because we will build back better. We will issue directives that shift resources from the wasteful private sector to the more socially beneficial uses identified by government experts.”

Pelosi Unveils 25th Amendment Ploy

A report released by the Tax Foundation in late September evaluated the Biden Campaign’s proposed economic policies and concluded that “it would lead to a loss of 518,000 full-time jobs, a 1.47 percent contraction in GDP, a shrinkage in the capital stock by just over 2.5 percent, a reduction in the overall wage rate by a little over 1 percent and reduce after-tax incomes by about 2.5 percent across all income groups.”

Biden was unfazed by the report, saying “it validates my contention that we will get back on the path charted for America by former President Obama. The small burdens we will place on average Americans will be offset by a more economically just redistribution of wealth. The highly discriminatory policy of allowing the more productive to keep a greater share of their income than they need we be overturned. Under a Biden-Harris regime need will replace greed as the determining factor in who gets what. Those who can’t or won’t work will get a fairer share of the nation’s collective wealth.”

Unhappy with what she characterized as “the distressingly large influence that poorly informed and anti-government voters have over the direction of public policy,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) is proposing legislation that “would give a greater say to experts.”

A bill sponsored by Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md), “would create a 17-member panel charged with judging the president’s fitness and be empowered to remove the president when deficiencies are determined. Panel members would be drawn from the highest echelons of our society—former members of government, leading academicians, prolific campaign donors and similarly placed individuals. Mistakes made by voters wouldn’t have to condemn the country to four years of misrule. They could be corrected as soon as the perceived deficiencies are detected.”

Pelosi observed that “Trump’s erotic behavior may be able to fool enough voters to return him to office, but just as his election in 2016 didn’t dissuade those of us in a better position to know what’s best for America from trying to remove him, neither would his reelection this year stop us from trying to do the same thing. As we saw over the past four years, the existing tools for ousting a wrongly elected person were inadequate. Rep. Raskin’s bill will bypass these obsolete tools and introduce a new, innovative and more vigorous way of dealing with a problem president.”

Candidate Still Fighting Recall Petition

Stung by a lower court ruling that refused to disallow a citizens’ recall petition from being circulated to gather signatures, far left Seattle Councilmember Kshama Sawant has appealed that ruling to the Washington State Supreme Court.

“What the lower court failed to establish was whether the citizens have sufficient reason to demand my removal from office,” Sawant argued. “Judge Rogers basically said that citizens can start a recall effort without first having to prove I have committed some crime or abused my office. His decision tramples my right to continue my role in ruling the City. It is manifestly unfair to me and potentially opens the door to other frivolous actions against others like me.”

Sawant said that “the recent decision by the State Supreme Court to disallow the recall of Mayor Durkan gives me hope that I, too, may be spared the wrath of discontented voters. In her case, the Court cited the lack of sufficiently egregious misconduct on the Mayor’s part to justify recalling her. My contention is that if her support of police brutality is not sufficient grounds for recall, then I should get a pass for leading a mob to surround her home and make threats.”

Meanwhile in Portland, the leading candidate for mayor, Sarah Iannarone, was on the campaign trail sporting a skirt emblazoned with the faces of Che Guevara, Mao Zedong and Joseph Stalin. She explained that “these are the men who inspire my vision of what the government of Portland could be. Voters are tired of the namby-pamby Ted Wheeler. They need and, as polls show, want a real progressive to transform the City to better implement the utopia Marx envisioned for humankind.”

Dems Say Sincere Religious Beliefs Threaten Democracy

In their furious efforts to derail the appointment of Judge Amy Coney Barrett to the US Supreme Court, Democrats are determined to ignore her judicial qualifications and turn to character assassination as a means of achieving their ends.

“I have nothing against anyone’s religion,” presidential candidate Joe Biden said, “but it has no business influencing how public policy is made in a democracy. Look, I’m a Catholic and a lot of the positions that I have taken over the years contradict tenets of my faith. Well, Jesus himself told us to render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s. In our country, ‘Caesar’ is the government elected by the people. If this government decrees that abortion is a sacred right then we all have to abide by this regardless of what our faith doctrine says.”

Biden’s vice-presidential running mate Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif) echoed Biden’s remarks, saying “it is one thing to worship in a certain way, but it isn’t right to try to impose moral beliefs on others. This is especially true in the case of abortion. Many Christians consider abortion to be morally wrong. Many others disagree. Under our form of government what is right or wrong isn’t decided by a moral code. It is decided by voters. If voters want abortions to be legal and funded by taxes, that is their right. For much of our history voters elected representatives who supported the death penalty for convicted murderers. If ending some lives is allowed by the democratic process then ending other lives by the same mechanism must be permitted.”

Senate Judiciary Committee Ranking Member Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif) is especially concerned that “Judge Barrett has no track record of support for Roe v. Wade. In fact, she once called the legacy of this historic Court decision ‘barbaric.’ I guess she was referring to the 60 million unwanted lives that have been terminated in this country since 1973. Clearly, this makes her Catholicism dangerous. There are many Catholic senators who are on record as deviating from their faith when it comes to this issue. Our presidential nominee Joe Biden also has a similar record. But I’m with Joe when he says that those who can’t put aside Christian ethics when they make public policy are the ‘dregs of our society.’ Since we cannot be sure that Judge Barrett isn’t among these ‘dregs’ I don’t see how we can consent to her serving on the Supreme Court.”

In related news, Biden says “I would respond to a Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade by making free access to abortion the law of the land. Based on the polls, I expect a clean Democratic sweep of the November elections with my Party taking the White House, regaining a majority in the Senate, and keeping our majority in the House. Congress will pass and I will sign legislation guaranteeing every woman the right to abort her unwanted child if she chooses.”

Biden Promises to End IRAs

Decrying “the inequality of the current IRA and 401k retirement plans,” Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden promises “big changes. Right now, the only people who benefit from the IRA and 401k programs are those who earn an income. This is unfair to those who are out of work and have no aptitude for supporting themselves. This inequity will change once I’m elected.”

“Under my plan these formerly individual retirement accounts will all be merged into Social Security,” Biden said. “There’s no good reason why a person who has worked, saved, and invested for retirement should have a better retirement than a person who hasn’t. In my view, America is like one big family with me as the Dad. I’m not going to let some of my children suffer just because they wasted their opportunity to be self-supporting. I didn’t do that for Hunter and I won’t do that for the rest of them.’

“The beauty of my plan is that every retiree will be treated equally,” Biden claimed. “Everyone will get a fair share of the pot of money in the merged accounts. Those who don’t now have an IRA or 401k will be lifted up. Those who do will be brought down to a level more equal to that of their brothers and sisters who didn’t invest for the future. This is what a loving Dad would do. This is what I will do. Period.”

Asked about how this plan might affect his son Hunter, Joe explained that “it won’t affect him one bit. Technically, his investments are not covered by the IRA and 401k statutes. They are pure honest graft—the kind that has been around since long before the IRAs and 401ks were ever conceived. The people who have so generously paid him need have no fear that their efforts will be negated by my program.”

New Pelosi & Fauci Toys to Be Marketed

After its “Kickstarter” campaign surged past its target to raise $15,000 and reached a surprising total of $200,000, FCTRY, a Brooklyn-based product design company, now has the funds to produce and market two new unorthodox “action” figures that it hopes will thrill children everywhere. The two figures are House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and NIAID Director at the National Institutes of Health Dr. Anthony Fauci. The Pelosi figure comes in either a pink or blue dress with a removable face mask. The Fauci figure has a white coat and a removable mask.

The inspiration for the Pelosi figure was “her untiring resistance to Trump’s tyranny. Just imagine how much worse things would be if she hadn’t been there to thwart Trump’s insidious efforts to accelerate economic growth and lower the unemployment rates of every demographic category. Likewise, Dr. Fauci’s ingenious idea to get the very germophobic President Trump to let governors lock down the economy in their states, shutter nonessential businesses, and maintain an elevated level of unreasoning fear proved crucial in interrupting the runaway prosperity that could have resulted in an easy reelection for Trump.”

Previous “action” figures in the company’s series included: Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Vice President Joe Biden, Sen. Kamala Harris, Pope Francis, Sen. Bernie Sanders, and President Barack Obama. Each figure retails for $20.

“These heroes give us all a sense of hope,” the company brochure says. “Without the firm guiding hand of these paragons on the necks of the American people our society would devolve into the anarchic chaos of uncontrolled individualized pursuit of happiness. It is because of them that the dream of having all march to the beat of the same drum is alive and thriving today.”

Declassified Memo Shows Clinton Manufactured Russia Scandal

In a batch of documents declassified by Director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe was a memo to President Obama from his CIA Director John Brennan. In this memo Brennan briefed Obama on the details of Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s scheme to falsely link Trump to Russia.

“The plan was to vilify Trump as a tool of the Russian government in order to distract attention from Clinton’s misdeeds when she was Secretary of State,” Brennan wrote. “The Steele dossier was paid-for propaganda that had no basis in fact.” The memo noted that in addition to Obama, then FBI Director James Comey, National Security Adviser Susan Rice, and Obama chief of staff Denis McDonough were also apprised of this information.

Rather than do his duty to warn the Trump campaign of this attempt to smear their candidate, Comey launched the now infamous “Crossfire Hurricane” counterintelligence investigation of the Trump campaign. This included committing perjury by falsely attesting to the accuracy of the Steele dossier in the FBI’s request to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court that it be authorized to spy on the Trump campaign by intercepting its confidential communications.

This week, Comey testified at a Senate hearing that “I have no recollection of doing any of those things, but if I did them it was for a very good reason. It was the unanimous conclusion of the intelligence community that Trump was as dire a threat to the national security of this country as has ever occurred. I feel this justified every extreme and extraordinary step we took to try to prevent his election and to undermine his government after the voters mistakenly elected him.”

Meanwhile in Ukraine, a Burisma energy company executive admitted in court that they paid a $900,000 bribe to Joe Biden when he was vice-president “so he would use his influence to stop the government’s investigation of our activities.” Amazingly, Biden has publicly boasted that he did just that “and son-of-a-bitch the prosecutor investigating Burisma was fired.”

Biden Mocks Trump’s “Don’t Be Afraid of COVID” Advice

President Trump’s brief bout with COVID-19 was followed by him urging the American people to “not let it control your life. Don’t be afraid of COVID. Go on and live your lives like Americans always have with courage, enterprise, and optimism.”

Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden called Trump’s advice “demented. If it weren’t for fear of the virus we never would have been able to achieve much of what Democrats around the nation have these last six months. We have shown that it is possible to identify the essential industries and ensure their survival. At the same time we have been able to identify the nonessential industries and cut their access to scarce resources.’

“Second, we have attained levels of obedience to government directives that no one dreamed would be possible in America,” Biden continued. “We told people to stay home—and they did. We told people to wear masks—and they did. We told people to inform on their neighbors who violated these directives—and they did.”

“These achievements are the key to transforming America from a society of selfish individualism to a land of collective solidarity,” Biden pointed out. “The notion that every American ought to be free to run his or her own life is out-of-step with how the rest of the world thinks. We should be grateful that the fear stoked by COVID has opened the path forward toward a more progressive and better future for our country. Voters can seal the deal on this transformation by electing Democrats everywhere on November 3rd.”

Cuomo Rails Against “Jewish Problem”

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) threatened to close down Jewish synagogues “if they do not obey the directives we’ve given them restricting unacceptable gatherings.” Using a photo from 2006 as “evidence that Jews are flouting COVID rules limiting participants in funerals to a maximum of 50 people,” Cuomo said “I’ve reached the end of my patience.”

The ratcheting up of anti-Jewish rhetoric from both Cuomo and Mayor Bill de Blasio is disturbingly reminiscent of that used by the Nazis in 1930s Germany. The scapegoating of Jews for the failures of the City’s and State’s COVID policies is unsupported by the evidence. For example, the Jewish section of Williamsburg in New York City ranks 79th in terms of COVID mortality rates. Yet, the singling out of Jews for blame by these Democrats incites anti-Semitic attitudes and behaviors. Nothing good can come of this.

Cuomo insists that he is not anti-Semitic. “I have nothing against the Jews,” he said. “Some of my biggest campaign donors have been Jews. But their highly visible demonstrations of discontent with the way I am running this state poses a challenge to my authority that I cannot ignore. If I allow them to get what they want others will be encouraged to imitate their antagonistic attitudes. So, in that sense, it seems that there is a Jewish problem that I can’t ignore. They need to concede that the rules of the state supersede the rules of their religion. I hope they come to their senses before I have to take more draconian measures.”

Unsurprisingly, the anti-Jewish tirades of both Cuomo and de Blasio were followed by Antifa vandalism in a Jewish neighborhood where gangs of thugs broke the windows of the Shore Parkway Jewish Center before entering the building where they further defaced and destroyed property in what the media classified as a “mostly peaceful protest.” In contrast, New York Assemblyman William Colton (D) condemned these actions as “another terrible hate crime incident at a Jewish place of worship.”

Satirical Look at Recent News

John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire for The Arizona Conservative since 2005. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties our Founding Fathers tried to protect.” His work has been cited on the Rush Limbaugh program. Please do us a favor. If you use material created by The Arizona Conservative, give us credit and DO NOT change the context. Thank you.

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