Kelly Campaign Spokesman Apologizes

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent New

T.J. L’Heureux, Arizona Democratic Senate candidate Mark Kelly’s deputy press secretary, called police “worthless f–ing pigs” in a tweet posting. This week, under pressure from the campaign, he apologized saying “I deeply regret my comment and apologize for what I wrote. My comment does not reflect who I am or what I believe. I have deleted the tweet.”

Afterward L’Heureux lamented what he called “the disturbing trend in our society that forces a person to have to apologize for his personal opinions. It’s not as if I was tweeting something that any loyal Democrat would disagree with, but the climate of hate incited by Republicans is stifling free speech in an unprecedented way.”

The Deputy Press Secretary went on to point out that “Twitter did not block my tweet nor lock my account for this so-called offensive remark. I admit that I am encouraged that the concept of free speech is still respected in some quarters. I look forward to a Democratic victory across-the-board that will solidify the kind of open exchange of ideas that Twitter bravely defends in these perilous times.”

Dem Activist Redefines “Morally Acceptable Actions”

In contrast to the reactions expressed by most of the villains exposed by Project Veritas, Kristopher Jacks, a member of the executive committee of the Colorado Democratic Party, stood by his assertion that “I am going to do everything morally acceptable to win. I will lie. I will cheat. I will steal. Because that’s morally acceptable in this political environment.”

Jacks defended intentional dishonesty by contending that “the right wing has a monopoly right now on strong, violent rhetoric, but we, like Lenin and Mao did, have an army of activists ready to take to the streets and topple the government that resists the progressive transformation of this country. I’m talking about killing the f***ing Billionaires and anyone else who gets in the way. We’ll drag them out of their homes and decapitate them with guillotines.”

Jacks said he is “confident that Biden will be on-board. He will follow our agenda if he knows what’s good for him. We know where he lives. If he or any other so-called moderate Democrat gives us any trouble they will face harsh repercussions. The revolution is for real. We are not afraid to spill blood if that’s what it takes.”

Pelosi Calls Wolf Blitzer “Republican Apologist”

Jealous of all the attention Joe Biden is getting for being the most mentally unfit presidential candidate ever, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) went on a tirade while being interviewed by CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, accusing him and his network colleagues of “always being an apologists for the Republican position.”

The blow-up occurred after Blitzer asked her “to look Americans in the eye and explain why you don’t want to accept the president’s latest stimulus offer. Other Democrats like Rep. Ro Khanna (Calif) and former presidential candidate Anrew Yang, are saying that given the harm inflicted by the shutdowns many of those out-of-work during the pandemic really need some assistance. Wouldn’t a compromise be the kind thing to do?”

“With all due respect you really don’t know what you’re talking about,” Pelosi countered. “And neither do any of those renegade Democrats you so like to cite. Who are you to say what’s kind? If all those out-of-work people would’ve been smart they would have stocked up on ice cream like I did. Just because they didn’t why should I be blamed for using them as pawns in my power struggle with the President? You would be able to see that if you weren’t constantly defending the Trump Administration all this time.”

In related news, Pelosi also denounced a New York Times story reporting that “experts are saying, with genuine confidence, that the pandemic in the United States will be over far sooner than they expected” and that “Trump’s efforts have worked with remarkable efficiency.” “It is shocking to see a major newspaper dare to publish something as vile as this,” she said with disgust. “I used to think the Times was on our side, but this story has made me realize I was duped. They are more clever and devious than I ever could’ve imagined.”

California GOP Given “Cease and Desist” Order

California Secretary of State Alex Padilla (D) issued a “cease and desist” order to the Republican Party citing their “unauthorized attempt to engage in ballot harvesting.” Republicans have established “ballot drop-off boxes at various locations around the state to make it easier for busy voters to ensure that their votes will be delivered to the polls for them,” said Hector Barajas, a spokesman for the California GOP.

“Hector may think he’s being cute, but as he and the rest of his gang of miscreants well know, we have awarded an exclusive $35 million contract to have all ballot harvesting be handled by SKD Knickerbocker, a Washington, D.C.-based public affairs firm,” Padilla said. “Anita Dunn, the firm’s managing director, is a senior strategist for Biden’s presidential campaign and clearly has the experience and motivation we are seeking in this most hectic and confusing election cycle. What’s even worse is that many of the GOP ballot boxes are located in churches—the very places Gov. Newsom has been trying to shutdown to fight the spread of COVID.”

“While Sec. Padilla may be reassured by this firm’s credentials, we are not,” Jessica Millan Patterson, chairwoman of the California Republican Party said. “The fact that the company selected to do the ballot harvesting is so obviously partisan is a clear conflict of interest. Even State Controller Betty Yee, who happens to be a Democrat, says Padilla had no authority to issue the contract.”

Padilla was not swayed by the criticism. “When the Republicans are in control of state government—as if that’ll ever happen again—they can run things their way,” Padilla mocked. “Until then we’ll do things our way. I will be instructing poll workers to destroy any votes turned in by Republican ballot harvesters.”

Penn Gov Rules by Decree

In a move to implement what he characterized as “a more efficient form of government,” Gov. Tom Wolf (D-Penn) has signed on to a multi-state Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative (RGGI) agreement that will result in higher taxes on the state’s inhabitants. This bypasses the state constitution’s delegation of the taxing power to the legislature.

Wolf explained that “we are in a climate crisis. Waiting for the legislature to act wastes precious time. Rather than let the people of Pennsylvania, the United States, and the world suffer while legislators dither is unacceptable.”

For its part, a bipartisan majority of the legislature passed a bill explicitly prohibiting the very action that Wolf has taken. Wolf vetoed this legislation, calling it “an unnecessary infringement on executive authority. In an emergency we must look to an active executive to solve the problems that a diverse legislature cannot handle. I am that ‘active executive’ and will continue to do what I think is best regardless of what anybody else thinks as long as I am the governor of this state.”

State Sen. Gene Yaw (R-23rd District) challenged Wolf’s assertion that his unilateral action is warranted by pointing out that “Pennsylvania has already reduced carbon emissions at a greater pace than what the RGGI states have achieved since they began in 2009. This was all accomplished without a government mandate and at great savings to consumers.”

“Savings on utility bills are the exact opposite of what is needed to wean consumers off of fossil fuels,” the Governor argued. “If energy is cheap and plentiful people will never do what we want them to do. The pain we inflict today is a necessary step in the Green New Deal this country needs to adopt. If legislators disapprove they can try to impeach me, but I’ll veto that too.”

Ironically, a report titled Energy and Climate Policy – An Evaluation of Climate Change Expenditure 2011-2018 published in the scientific journal Energies found that “renewable energy is cripplingly expensive, hopelessly unreliable, massacres wildlife, destroys landscapes, destabilizes the grid, harms indigenous peoples, and causes climate change.”

Biden Defends Son’s Business Acumen

In an overheard private chat after the conclusion of ABC’s town hall with Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden, George Stephanopoulos wondered if “there’s anything to the whole Hunter email thing? I’ve seen lot’s of commentary, some of it severely critical. What’s your take on it—off-the-record of course.”

“It’s already been debunked,” Biden replied. “Twitter and Facebook have stricken it from the record. Nobody believes a word of it. Period.”

“Well, what about the $10 million a year for ‘introductions’ deal?” Stephanopoulos asked. “That seems a lot of money. Who was Hunter introducing to who?”

“What a lot of people don’t realize is that Hunter is a genius when it comes to business,” Biden answered. “In that context, the $10 million deal makes sense. Hunter knows a lot of important people. I can see why the Chinese government and business officials would want him to open doors for them. Since the favors they were seeking added up to billions of dollars the ‘finders fee’ they paid him isn’t unreasonable. I mean, how many business partners have the Vice-President of the United States for a father?

“Now that I’ve heard you explain it, it does seem like a lot of hubbub over nothing,” Stephanopoulos agreed. “Obviously, the Chinese would expect to benefit in a major way from having access to key people in the Obama Administration. And I can see how a closer relationship between the two countries might result. Do you think Hunter deserves more appreciation for his efforts? Should he get a Nobel Peace Prize?”

“Nah, Hunter’s too humble for that,” Biden insisted. “He’s content to remain a private citizen—earning a living, taking care of his family. He relishes his privacy and wishes to avoid publicity. One of my key jobs as president will be to ensure that he is not bothered by further pesky intrusions.”

Meanwhile, the FBI is said to be considering charging the computer repairman who uncovered the trove of Hunter Biden’s emails after Biden neglected to pay for the repairs even when repeatedly asked to do so. “As we see it, Mr. Isaac has revealed information that is damaging the reputation of an important public figure,” Director Christopher Wray declared. “Protecting public figures from scandal is one of our most crucial public services. We warned Isaac not to disclose this information to anyone. We were able to hide this scandal since we seized the computer in December of last year. But now the scandal has been published in a major newspaper and a lot of inconvenient questions are being asked. If Isaac had remained silent we could have resolved the situation quietly and no one would have ever known anything about these unfortunate events.”

Biden Renounces Support of Happy Americans

Apprised of Gallup poll results showing that 56% of voters say they are better off than they were during the Obama Administration’s last year, Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden advised these people “not to vote for me. Such a belief is a warning sign of mental deficiency. These people shouldn’t be voting. They’ll just muck up the results.”

“I know polls show that only a third of Americans rated the economy as good or excellent during the Obama years and that nearly two-thirds said this about the Trump years, but to me the Obama years were great years,” Biden insisted. “Everybody knows that. It’s Trump that’s driven the economy into a ditch.”

“Since Trump came into office millions have gotten off of food stamps,” Biden pointed out. “Millions have been forced into the workforce where they’ve had to sacrifice the leisure time they enjoyed when Obama was president for the commercial rat-race. This year when Democratic governors across the nation tried to reestablish freedom from work during the pandemic, Trump argued for opening up businesses and sending people back to work. In my mind, having to work to support yourself is a drag. Democrats have been striving to end this wage-slavery since the days of FDR. Anyone who can’t see that and pull the lever for a straight Democratic ticket in the voting booth isn’t competent to cast a ballot.”

The Penn Wharton Budget Model at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business predicts that more than 80% of US households will experience a tax increase under the policies proposed by the Biden-Harris platform. Asked about this by ABC News chief Washington correspondent Jonathan Karl, Biden contended that “the value everyone will reap from an expanded federal government under my administration will far outweigh the additional tax burden. The key will be supplanting inefficient private uses of money with high-powered socially responsible government spending. This will raise the people’s happiness level to previously unseen heights especially if we combine it with Keith Olbermann’s suggestion that Trump supporters be removed from society.”

Kelly Disrespects Border Patrol

By Townhall

Mark Kelly blatantly lied from the debate stage.

Kelly’s treatment of Art Del Cueto, and subsequent lie, tells you everything you need to know about how Kelly views the brave men and women who patrol our border.

“Mark Kelly would have you believe that he understands the importance of border security. But when given the opportunity to simply show me the humanity of shaking my hand, he snubbed me. That incident showed me everything I need to know about who Mark Kelly is. As a representative of the National Border Patrol Council there’s only one candidate in this race that respects the boots on the ground and understands what we need to keep our borders secure and Arizonans safe—and it’s not Mark.” – Art Del Cueto

Here’s the real story. It did happen: 

Mark Kelly’s positions on border security would leave our country less safe and harm southern Arizona.

To top it off, in 2018, Kelly endorsed David Garcia for governor. This is the same David Garcia who fantasized about getting rid of the border wall and pushed policies that have been dubbed “#AbolishICE lite.”

Mark Kelly can’t be trusted on border security.

The movement to “defund the police” is gaining momentum among Democrats as retaliation for police brutality. This unrealistic idea was once solely existent on the outskirts of the Democratic Party, among the fringe, far-left, but is not the first of its kind. A substantial amount of Democrats favor abolishing Immigration Customs and Enforcement (ICE) in order to prevent a crackdown on illegal immigration, while also villifying border patrol for enforcing the law of the land. 

The idea of abolishing or cutting funding to ICE would not resonate with voters in battleground states, as it represents a public safety issue, especially in states like Arizona. While Arizona Senate hopeful Mark Kelly has not endorsed “abolishing” ICE or stripping funding, the Arizona Democrat was visibly hostile toward a border patrol agent, per a first hand account from Art Del Cueto, the vice president and spokesperson for National Border Patrol Council and an agent in Tucson’s sector. Del Cueto recounted his experience with Kelly in a recent radio interview:

“I went up to him [Mark Kelly] and said hello. I didn’t even get a chance to introduce myself. He knew right off the bat: “You’re with the Border Patrol guys, right?” That’s what he said and I did not have the chance to correct him and say I’m with the Border Patrol union. So he said, “You’re with the Border Patrol guys.” I gave him my hand to shake it and he looks at my hand and he made a gesture with his hand up in the air, like you’re almost going to shake it but you’re not going to shake it. He then just walked away and waved me off… I put my hand out and he was like, “You’re one of them,” and did not even want to bother. He walked away.” he recalled to Arizona radio host Garrett Lewis.

GOP incumbent Sen. Martha McSally, who has to defend her seat against Kelly in November, condemned the idea of “defunding the police,” and drew a parallel between the two fringe movements that are moving to the mainstream of the Democratic Party:

“The Democratic Party is mainstreaming a dangerous idea as we speak: defunding the police. And they have already mainstreamed within their party the idea of defunding ICE. This is a dangerous platform that threatens the safety and security of every Arizonan,” the Arizona Republican said in a statement. “We are at a national crossroads and extreme voices have hijacked the Democratic Party. Our very Constitutional rights are on the line, as is the safety of our communities and neighborhoods. I will support those engaged in peaceful protest and free speech, and I will stand up to the violent mob threatening our cities and citizens. Kelly never will.”

Despite this disrespect toward border patrol, Kelly previously said that he did not support abolishing ICE, and his campaign website calls for a border “well staffed” with agents. As Kelly knows, making public any disrespect toward border patrol would cost him politically with Arizona voters who favor public safety and law and order. Kelly also has yet to comment on the movement to “defund the police,” but has endorsed former Vice President Joe Biden for president; Biden’s campaign came out against “defunding the police” on Monday.

‘Yoda’ Kelly’s Staffers Admit His Misleading Of Voters On Gun Policy

Project Veritas Action Fund journalists recently exposed conflicted campaign staffers working to elect retired Navy Capt. Mark Kelly to the U.S. Senate representing Arizona.

Anjelica Carpio and Alan Bederka were both secretly recorded admitting to the Kelly campaign’s intentions of misleading the voters on his gun policies.

Here are the highlights from today’s release:

  • Everytown For Gun Safety Data Manager Alan Bederka: Kelly Has to Lie to Get into The Senate, So He Can Pass Gun Control: “Things Like an Assault Weapons Ban, Which Would be Freakin’ Lovely.”
  • Bederka: “[Kelly’s] Probably in Favor of a General Assault Weapon Ban and What That Would Mean Is No More Manufacturing Assault Weapons For General Consumer Consumption…In Any State In The United States.”
  • Bederka: Everytown For Gun Safety Skirts Federal Laws Against Coordination Through Press Releases “If the NRA Were to Find Out…They Would Tear Us Apart.”
  • Mission for Arizona Field Organizer Anjelica Carpio: “[Kelly] Just Wants to Get Elected.”
  • Carpio: “I Know We Always Can’t Trust Politicians.”
  • Carpio: “Even the Staffers Are Kind of Confused, Like We Want Him to Come Full Force Out.”

Watch our latest video here:

The voters should never be misled. Deception is one of the most corrupt acts politicians can engage in.

Project Veritas Action Fund will never let this type of behavior get a pass. We have a lot more ‘exposing’ to do before the election.

Kelly Aide Rips Police As ‘F-ing Pigs’

Far Left Democrat Mark Kelly’s Senate campaign continues to embrace extreme, disgusting anti-police rhetoric. A new report out today revealed Mark’s spokesperson called police officers “worthless f*cking pigs” in a tweet this summer

As the report notes, this tweet was written just one week before Kelly hired this person to his campaign team. Mark continues to amplify the most hateful, anti-law enforcement ideas and rhetoric that disrespects and endangers our brave men and women in uniform. 

Mark has so far refused to address the comments.  

That isn’t too surprising, given the fact that Kelly lied about an incident in which he disrespected a border patrol agent by refusing to shake his hand. 

It’s no wonder why the Arizona Police Association endorsed Martha McSally in this race. They know what we’ve known all along: Martha will have their back; Mark will throw them to the wolves.

Actions speak louder than words, and these two incidents reveal Mark’s true colors. Anything he says otherwise is nothing more than hot air.

Vote NO on Rich Crandall For Mesa School Board

Rich Crandell never seems to be where he belongs and never seems to last long where he is. The controversial former Arizona legislator and educational administrator wannabe is running for an at-large position on the Mesa school board. We strongly OPPOSE his candidacy.

Crandell, a supporter of Democrat U.S. Senator Kyrsten Sinema according to his retweets of her bragging points, once lived out of state and voted on only a third of bills in the Arizona House of Representatives. We called for his ouster or resignation at the time.

He served in administrative posts in Wyoming and Colorado public education agencies for only a few months eacg. When he started in the Wyoming post, he indicated he would be frequently traveling the country to meet with educators rather than hanging out in his office all the time.

Oh and in 2012 Crandell’s daughter was caught red-handed by legislator Brenda Barton tampering with an opponent’s campaign signs in Mesa. Crandell then threatened her with legislative blackmail, drawing an ethics complaint. Crandell later apologized to Barton to avoid punishment.

The Goldwater Institute in 2012 ranked Crandell among the lowest state senators in its annual scorecard.

Crandell just doesn’t deserve or belong to be in positions of power in education or the state legislative.


56 Percent Better Off Than Four Years Ago

A Gallup poll of registered voters found that 56 percent of respondents say they are better off than they were before Donald Trump was elected four years ago. Thirty-two percent say they are worse off and 12 percent say they are about the same. The 56 percent was lower than the 61 percent who said they were better off in February of this year, but still higher than the 45 percent recorded in 2012 when Barack Obama was reelected president.

Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden dismissed these results, calling them “irrelevant. Virtually every poll taken over the last several months has shown me defeating Trump by a wide margin. That’s because as good as Trump’s policies have made voters feel, they know they will do better under a Biden-Harris administration. Because we will build back better. We will issue directives that shift resources from the wasteful private sector to the more socially beneficial uses identified by government experts.”

Pelosi Unveils 25th Amendment Ploy

A report released by the Tax Foundation in late September evaluated the Biden Campaign’s proposed economic policies and concluded that “it would lead to a loss of 518,000 full-time jobs, a 1.47 percent contraction in GDP, a shrinkage in the capital stock by just over 2.5 percent, a reduction in the overall wage rate by a little over 1 percent and reduce after-tax incomes by about 2.5 percent across all income groups.”

Biden was unfazed by the report, saying “it validates my contention that we will get back on the path charted for America by former President Obama. The small burdens we will place on average Americans will be offset by a more economically just redistribution of wealth. The highly discriminatory policy of allowing the more productive to keep a greater share of their income than they need we be overturned. Under a Biden-Harris regime need will replace greed as the determining factor in who gets what. Those who can’t or won’t work will get a fairer share of the nation’s collective wealth.”

Unhappy with what she characterized as “the distressingly large influence that poorly informed and anti-government voters have over the direction of public policy,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) is proposing legislation that “would give a greater say to experts.”

A bill sponsored by Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md), “would create a 17-member panel charged with judging the president’s fitness and be empowered to remove the president when deficiencies are determined. Panel members would be drawn from the highest echelons of our society—former members of government, leading academicians, prolific campaign donors and similarly placed individuals. Mistakes made by voters wouldn’t have to condemn the country to four years of misrule. They could be corrected as soon as the perceived deficiencies are detected.”

Pelosi observed that “Trump’s erotic behavior may be able to fool enough voters to return him to office, but just as his election in 2016 didn’t dissuade those of us in a better position to know what’s best for America from trying to remove him, neither would his reelection this year stop us from trying to do the same thing. As we saw over the past four years, the existing tools for ousting a wrongly elected person were inadequate. Rep. Raskin’s bill will bypass these obsolete tools and introduce a new, innovative and more vigorous way of dealing with a problem president.”

Candidate Still Fighting Recall Petition

Stung by a lower court ruling that refused to disallow a citizens’ recall petition from being circulated to gather signatures, far left Seattle Councilmember Kshama Sawant has appealed that ruling to the Washington State Supreme Court.

“What the lower court failed to establish was whether the citizens have sufficient reason to demand my removal from office,” Sawant argued. “Judge Rogers basically said that citizens can start a recall effort without first having to prove I have committed some crime or abused my office. His decision tramples my right to continue my role in ruling the City. It is manifestly unfair to me and potentially opens the door to other frivolous actions against others like me.”

Sawant said that “the recent decision by the State Supreme Court to disallow the recall of Mayor Durkan gives me hope that I, too, may be spared the wrath of discontented voters. In her case, the Court cited the lack of sufficiently egregious misconduct on the Mayor’s part to justify recalling her. My contention is that if her support of police brutality is not sufficient grounds for recall, then I should get a pass for leading a mob to surround her home and make threats.”

Meanwhile in Portland, the leading candidate for mayor, Sarah Iannarone, was on the campaign trail sporting a skirt emblazoned with the faces of Che Guevara, Mao Zedong and Joseph Stalin. She explained that “these are the men who inspire my vision of what the government of Portland could be. Voters are tired of the namby-pamby Ted Wheeler. They need and, as polls show, want a real progressive to transform the City to better implement the utopia Marx envisioned for humankind.”

Dems Say Sincere Religious Beliefs Threaten Democracy

In their furious efforts to derail the appointment of Judge Amy Coney Barrett to the US Supreme Court, Democrats are determined to ignore her judicial qualifications and turn to character assassination as a means of achieving their ends.

“I have nothing against anyone’s religion,” presidential candidate Joe Biden said, “but it has no business influencing how public policy is made in a democracy. Look, I’m a Catholic and a lot of the positions that I have taken over the years contradict tenets of my faith. Well, Jesus himself told us to render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s. In our country, ‘Caesar’ is the government elected by the people. If this government decrees that abortion is a sacred right then we all have to abide by this regardless of what our faith doctrine says.”

Biden’s vice-presidential running mate Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif) echoed Biden’s remarks, saying “it is one thing to worship in a certain way, but it isn’t right to try to impose moral beliefs on others. This is especially true in the case of abortion. Many Christians consider abortion to be morally wrong. Many others disagree. Under our form of government what is right or wrong isn’t decided by a moral code. It is decided by voters. If voters want abortions to be legal and funded by taxes, that is their right. For much of our history voters elected representatives who supported the death penalty for convicted murderers. If ending some lives is allowed by the democratic process then ending other lives by the same mechanism must be permitted.”

Senate Judiciary Committee Ranking Member Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif) is especially concerned that “Judge Barrett has no track record of support for Roe v. Wade. In fact, she once called the legacy of this historic Court decision ‘barbaric.’ I guess she was referring to the 60 million unwanted lives that have been terminated in this country since 1973. Clearly, this makes her Catholicism dangerous. There are many Catholic senators who are on record as deviating from their faith when it comes to this issue. Our presidential nominee Joe Biden also has a similar record. But I’m with Joe when he says that those who can’t put aside Christian ethics when they make public policy are the ‘dregs of our society.’ Since we cannot be sure that Judge Barrett isn’t among these ‘dregs’ I don’t see how we can consent to her serving on the Supreme Court.”

In related news, Biden says “I would respond to a Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade by making free access to abortion the law of the land. Based on the polls, I expect a clean Democratic sweep of the November elections with my Party taking the White House, regaining a majority in the Senate, and keeping our majority in the House. Congress will pass and I will sign legislation guaranteeing every woman the right to abort her unwanted child if she chooses.”

Biden Promises to End IRAs

Decrying “the inequality of the current IRA and 401k retirement plans,” Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden promises “big changes. Right now, the only people who benefit from the IRA and 401k programs are those who earn an income. This is unfair to those who are out of work and have no aptitude for supporting themselves. This inequity will change once I’m elected.”

“Under my plan these formerly individual retirement accounts will all be merged into Social Security,” Biden said. “There’s no good reason why a person who has worked, saved, and invested for retirement should have a better retirement than a person who hasn’t. In my view, America is like one big family with me as the Dad. I’m not going to let some of my children suffer just because they wasted their opportunity to be self-supporting. I didn’t do that for Hunter and I won’t do that for the rest of them.’

“The beauty of my plan is that every retiree will be treated equally,” Biden claimed. “Everyone will get a fair share of the pot of money in the merged accounts. Those who don’t now have an IRA or 401k will be lifted up. Those who do will be brought down to a level more equal to that of their brothers and sisters who didn’t invest for the future. This is what a loving Dad would do. This is what I will do. Period.”

Asked about how this plan might affect his son Hunter, Joe explained that “it won’t affect him one bit. Technically, his investments are not covered by the IRA and 401k statutes. They are pure honest graft—the kind that has been around since long before the IRAs and 401ks were ever conceived. The people who have so generously paid him need have no fear that their efforts will be negated by my program.”

New Pelosi & Fauci Toys to Be Marketed

After its “Kickstarter” campaign surged past its target to raise $15,000 and reached a surprising total of $200,000, FCTRY, a Brooklyn-based product design company, now has the funds to produce and market two new unorthodox “action” figures that it hopes will thrill children everywhere. The two figures are House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and NIAID Director at the National Institutes of Health Dr. Anthony Fauci. The Pelosi figure comes in either a pink or blue dress with a removable face mask. The Fauci figure has a white coat and a removable mask.

The inspiration for the Pelosi figure was “her untiring resistance to Trump’s tyranny. Just imagine how much worse things would be if she hadn’t been there to thwart Trump’s insidious efforts to accelerate economic growth and lower the unemployment rates of every demographic category. Likewise, Dr. Fauci’s ingenious idea to get the very germophobic President Trump to let governors lock down the economy in their states, shutter nonessential businesses, and maintain an elevated level of unreasoning fear proved crucial in interrupting the runaway prosperity that could have resulted in an easy reelection for Trump.”

Previous “action” figures in the company’s series included: Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Vice President Joe Biden, Sen. Kamala Harris, Pope Francis, Sen. Bernie Sanders, and President Barack Obama. Each figure retails for $20.

“These heroes give us all a sense of hope,” the company brochure says. “Without the firm guiding hand of these paragons on the necks of the American people our society would devolve into the anarchic chaos of uncontrolled individualized pursuit of happiness. It is because of them that the dream of having all march to the beat of the same drum is alive and thriving today.”

Declassified Memo Shows Clinton Manufactured Russia Scandal

In a batch of documents declassified by Director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe was a memo to President Obama from his CIA Director John Brennan. In this memo Brennan briefed Obama on the details of Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s scheme to falsely link Trump to Russia.

“The plan was to vilify Trump as a tool of the Russian government in order to distract attention from Clinton’s misdeeds when she was Secretary of State,” Brennan wrote. “The Steele dossier was paid-for propaganda that had no basis in fact.” The memo noted that in addition to Obama, then FBI Director James Comey, National Security Adviser Susan Rice, and Obama chief of staff Denis McDonough were also apprised of this information.

Rather than do his duty to warn the Trump campaign of this attempt to smear their candidate, Comey launched the now infamous “Crossfire Hurricane” counterintelligence investigation of the Trump campaign. This included committing perjury by falsely attesting to the accuracy of the Steele dossier in the FBI’s request to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court that it be authorized to spy on the Trump campaign by intercepting its confidential communications.

This week, Comey testified at a Senate hearing that “I have no recollection of doing any of those things, but if I did them it was for a very good reason. It was the unanimous conclusion of the intelligence community that Trump was as dire a threat to the national security of this country as has ever occurred. I feel this justified every extreme and extraordinary step we took to try to prevent his election and to undermine his government after the voters mistakenly elected him.”

Meanwhile in Ukraine, a Burisma energy company executive admitted in court that they paid a $900,000 bribe to Joe Biden when he was vice-president “so he would use his influence to stop the government’s investigation of our activities.” Amazingly, Biden has publicly boasted that he did just that “and son-of-a-bitch the prosecutor investigating Burisma was fired.”

Biden Mocks Trump’s “Don’t Be Afraid of COVID” Advice

President Trump’s brief bout with COVID-19 was followed by him urging the American people to “not let it control your life. Don’t be afraid of COVID. Go on and live your lives like Americans always have with courage, enterprise, and optimism.”

Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden called Trump’s advice “demented. If it weren’t for fear of the virus we never would have been able to achieve much of what Democrats around the nation have these last six months. We have shown that it is possible to identify the essential industries and ensure their survival. At the same time we have been able to identify the nonessential industries and cut their access to scarce resources.’

“Second, we have attained levels of obedience to government directives that no one dreamed would be possible in America,” Biden continued. “We told people to stay home—and they did. We told people to wear masks—and they did. We told people to inform on their neighbors who violated these directives—and they did.”

“These achievements are the key to transforming America from a society of selfish individualism to a land of collective solidarity,” Biden pointed out. “The notion that every American ought to be free to run his or her own life is out-of-step with how the rest of the world thinks. We should be grateful that the fear stoked by COVID has opened the path forward toward a more progressive and better future for our country. Voters can seal the deal on this transformation by electing Democrats everywhere on November 3rd.”

Cuomo Rails Against “Jewish Problem”

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) threatened to close down Jewish synagogues “if they do not obey the directives we’ve given them restricting unacceptable gatherings.” Using a photo from 2006 as “evidence that Jews are flouting COVID rules limiting participants in funerals to a maximum of 50 people,” Cuomo said “I’ve reached the end of my patience.”

The ratcheting up of anti-Jewish rhetoric from both Cuomo and Mayor Bill de Blasio is disturbingly reminiscent of that used by the Nazis in 1930s Germany. The scapegoating of Jews for the failures of the City’s and State’s COVID policies is unsupported by the evidence. For example, the Jewish section of Williamsburg in New York City ranks 79th in terms of COVID mortality rates. Yet, the singling out of Jews for blame by these Democrats incites anti-Semitic attitudes and behaviors. Nothing good can come of this.

Cuomo insists that he is not anti-Semitic. “I have nothing against the Jews,” he said. “Some of my biggest campaign donors have been Jews. But their highly visible demonstrations of discontent with the way I am running this state poses a challenge to my authority that I cannot ignore. If I allow them to get what they want others will be encouraged to imitate their antagonistic attitudes. So, in that sense, it seems that there is a Jewish problem that I can’t ignore. They need to concede that the rules of the state supersede the rules of their religion. I hope they come to their senses before I have to take more draconian measures.”

Unsurprisingly, the anti-Jewish tirades of both Cuomo and de Blasio were followed by Antifa vandalism in a Jewish neighborhood where gangs of thugs broke the windows of the Shore Parkway Jewish Center before entering the building where they further defaced and destroyed property in what the media classified as a “mostly peaceful protest.” In contrast, New York Assemblyman William Colton (D) condemned these actions as “another terrible hate crime incident at a Jewish place of worship.”

Satirical Look at Recent News

John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire for The Arizona Conservative since 2005. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties our Founding Fathers tried to protect.” His work has been cited on the Rush Limbaugh program. Please do us a favor. If you use material created by The Arizona Conservative, give us credit and DO NOT change the context. Thank you.

AZ Repugnant/AZ Democrat Central Working In Overdrive To Elect Democrats

It’s worse than ever — the blatant efforts of the Arizona Repugnant/AZ Democrat Central to demonize Republicans and elect Democrats.

Just look at EJ “Eddie Munster” Montini’s most recent hit pieces:

A fearful Donald Trump calls Kamala Harris a ‘monster’

Proposition 208 will end GOP’s gutting of public schools

Why Isn’t McSally irked by Trump’s links to China?

Will Trump housekeepers get his royal COVID care?

VP Pence should be in quarantine not visiting Arizona

Can McSally use a jet that says ‘Air Force’ in an ad?

Quarantine anger, ask questions about Trump and COVID-19

Ducey, a mask mandate and the story of the drowning man

Sen. Sinema should not meet with Judge Barrett

Trump secures the white supremacist vote in debate

Donald Trump’s brilliant idea for how to stage a debate

Sen. Graham (in 2015) exactly sums up Trump/Biden race

Trump math: 204,000 COVID deaths = ‘virtually nobody’

Judge Amy Coney Barrett sells her Christian soul to Trump

Sen. McSally managed only 15 minutes of respect for RBGS

Then check out the Repugnant’s Laurie Roberts, another Republican hater:

Ducey’s hypocrisy on display at Trump rally

How can Ducey ignore the misery of 400,000 jobless Arizonans?

Trump doesn’t want panic us? he lives on panic

Biden Hires Tech Execs

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

The Biden campaign announced that it is hiring Facebook executive Jessica Hertz to join his transition team as general counsel in charge of ethical issues. This is the Campaign’s second “big tech” addition to the transition team. Earlier, Twitter’s Director of Public Policy, Carlos Monje, was hired to co-chair the transition team’s infrastructure policy committee.

A spokesperson for the Campaign called the hires “a natural consequence of both Twitter’s and Facebook’s anti-Trump policies. Rather than hew to an out-dated notion of impartiality, both of these highly influential information gatekeepers have actively identified content that lies outside the accepted progressive narrative of what is permissible. These companies’ contributions to the election of the Harris-Biden ticket deserves a reward. Moreover, taking control over what can and can’t be said will be an ongoing part of the transformation of the American political system begun by former President Obama. We want voters to know that we are all-in on this.”

A spokesperson for the Campaign called the hires “a natural consequence of both Twitter’s and Facebook’s anti-Trump policies. Rather than hew to an out-dated notion of impartiality, both of these highly influential information gatekeepers have actively identified content that lies outside the accepted progressive narrative of what is permissible. These companies’ contributions to the election of the Harris-Biden ticket deserves a reward. Moreover, taking control over what can and can’t be said will be an ongoing part of the transformation of the American political system begun by former President Obama. We want voters to know that we are all-in on this.”

Schumer Vows Permanent Dem Majority

Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) says “I am not busting my chops to become majority leader to do very little or nothing. We are going to get a whole lot done. Everything, everything is on the table.” Moves already suggested by various members of the Democratic Party and the media include making Washington, DC and Puerto Rico states, ending the Senate filibuster, expanding the number of Supreme Court justices and adding enough progressive judges to ensure a Democratic majority.

Schumer called these proposals “just a start. I have been thinking about the idea of making China a state. The billion plus population would provide as many progressive votes as we could ever need. The majority of the House of Representatives would be Chinese. The majority of electoral votes would be cast by the Chinese. The anarchic and anti-social ideas of the Republicans would be forever silenced.”

“Some skeptics wonder what’s in it for China,” the Senator said. “Why would they consent to being just one of the United States? Well, as the dominant state they would be able to mold US policy into one more agreeable to their interests from the inside. The need for them to build up a military force sufficient to defeat the United States would be eliminated. They could get what they want without having to go to war.”

Schumer contended that “the benefit of lasting world peace that would flow from such a unification would be the greatest gift to humanity that has ever been delivered by anyone. I would expect that both Xi and I would be runaway winners of the most important Nobel Peace Prize ever awarded.”

Black Entrepreneur Backs Trump

Black Entertainment Television founder Robert Johnson says he favors Trump over Biden in the upcoming election. “As a businessman, I will take the devil I know over the devil I don’t know anytime,” Johnson said. “I absolutely do not know what a President Biden would do. I haven’t heard anything coherent from him.”

Former Vice-President Joe Biden defended his decision to refuse to clarify where he stands, calling it “not my job. No president should have his hands tied prior to being elected. If I were to reveal my plans now that would only stir up needless controversy. It is the voters’ job to elect me. Then they will find out what my policies are. If they don’t trust me to do the right thing they should vote for the other guy. Either way, I won’t be bullied into a corner I can’t get out of.”

Meanwhile, former Twitter CEO Dick Costolo warned that “you capitalists who think you can separate society from business are going to be the first people lined up against the wall and shot in the revolution. No one has the right to put their own personal interests ahead of the well-being of the collective. In the world we are trying to build there will be no more ‘mine.’ All will be ‘ours.’ The government will take charge of all resources and determine who gets what. Those who can work and produce will be required to work and produce. Those who cannot will get what they need via wealth redistribution. Those who object and resist will be liquidated.”

Associate Press Says Call “Riots” “Unrest”

Concerned about the use of the word “riot” to describe the property destruction, assaults, and looting that have emerged amid the so-called “mostly peaceful” protests in many of this country’s major cities, the Associated Press’ “Stylebook” wants reporters to stop using the word.

According to the newly revised Stylebook, “the word ‘riot’ connotes a wild, disorderly, and unfocused violence and mayhem. Use of this word doesn’t do justice to the underlying grievances that led to the violence and mayhem. A better word would be to describe these occurrences as ‘unrest.’ Unrest is a vaguer, milder and less emotional term for a condition of angry discontent and protest verging on revolt. We don’t want legitimate grievances to be unfairly tainted merely because innocent victims are beaten, their businesses ransacked, and their buildings burned by the excessive exuberance of the protesters.”

In related news, Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot objected to President Trump’s characterization of her city as “a hotbed of crime and violence,” calling it “ignorant and racist. The weekly shootings are a peculiar Chicago lifestyle that has evolved over many years. It represents deep-seated passions and a sense of spontaneity that outsiders may not be able to fully appreciate. We do not want Trump to mess it up by heavy-handed law-enforcement. The people should be free to solve their own problems in their own way. That is what America is all about.”

Errant Mail-in Ballots in DC

In its quest to ensure that the maximum number of votes that could be cast are cast this November, the Washington, D.C., Board of Elections (DCBOE) has sent ballots to thousands of voters who have moved or died since previous elections. Many current residents of the homes and apartments vacated by the departed are being advised on how to handle the ballots winding up in their mail boxes.

DCBOE Chairman Michael Bennett explained that “there are several options for each recipient of a ballot intended for someone else. If you don’t know the person the ballot is addressed to, return it to us and we’ll try to find someone else to cast the ballot. If you do know the person—and this would especially apply in the case of a family member who has died—and you’re confident you know how that person would’ve voted, go ahead and fill out the ballot on their behalf. If someone else in your apartment or neighborhood knows the person you may pass the ballot on to them. They can either fill it out or forward it to someone who will.”

“Just because someone has died or moved doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t care who is elected,” Bennett observed. “They are still part of the American family. We need to make every reasonable effort to implement their preferences so that they are not accidentally disenfranchised.”

CNN Anchor Admits “Hunter Biden Is a Swamp Creature”

CNN anchor John King acknowledged that “many of the business dealings of Joe Biden’s son Hunter appear shady. His apparent lack of expertise in the so-called businesses in which he is engaged raises a ‘red flag.’ The amounts that he has been paid seem large considering how little he knows about these businesses. I’ve even heard him admit that he probably wouldn’t have gotten these deals if his father wasn’t the vice-president. Hunter’s a swamp creature. Like many people, he is cashing in on his family name to make money around the world.”

For his part, Joe Biden claims that “all the accusations against my son have been totally discredited.” Well, maybe not totally discredited. Joe himself is on video boasting about how he leveraged a US aid package to coerce the government of Ukraine to fire a prosecutor who was investigating his son’s role in the allegedly corrupt Burisma energy company. And just a few weeks ago the Senate Homeland Security and Finance committees released an 87-page report on Hunter Biden’s work with Burisma. The report charged that “officials within the Obama administration ignored the glaring warning signs when the vice president’s son joined the board of a company owned by a corrupt Ukrainian oligarch.”

King went on to point out that “to be honest, everyone knows that Washington is a ‘swamp.’ Influence pedaling and sweet-heart deals for those with power or connections are common. As the son of a man who has spent 47 years in the federal government it would be surprising for Hunter to have not tried to monetize his father’s position like Joe’s brother James did. A majority of voters agree that Joe Biden seems to have used his decades-long political career to enrich his family and close friends. The key question voters need to ask themselves is whether this normal exploitation of political power is a ‘deal breaker’ when it comes to electing the next president. Maybe it’s a tolerable price to pay to get the incomparable talents of a man like Joe Biden into the White House. In a way, seeing things get back to normal by ousting Trump could be very comforting for so many of us.”

Media Loses Trial Motion

The motion to have former Covington Catholic High School student Nick Sandmann’s defamation lawsuit against the NY TimesRolling Stone, ABC, & CBS dismissed was denied by the court. A previous motion by NBC was also denied. And the Washington Post has already settled the case against it by paying an undisclosed amount in damages.

Lawyers for the Times called the latest ruling “out of step with modern libel laws. It has been a well-established principle that when the alleged victim is a public figure he must prove malice motivated the inaccurate media reporting and the derogatory statements made about that public figure. Sandmann’s attorney is passing him off as a private individual rather than the public figure that our reporting made him into. This is manifestly unfair.”

“Let’s not forget that Mr. Sandmann affronted public sensibilities by wearing a MAGA hat in a public space,” said Times‘ attorney John Law. “This ‘badge of infamy’ identified the young Sandmann as an enemy of society and a provocateur. The people, like native American Nathan Phillips, were triggered by this intrusion into their space. The Times and others rightly did everything they could think of to rescue these triggered victims from the baleful indignities being inflicted on them by the now notorious Mr. Sandmann. That the Times and other media made unsubstantiated accusations and insinuations against Mr. Sandmann may be unfortunate, but they weren’t malicious. We’re confident that the slew of new judges that will be added to the courts by President Biden next year will reverse the court decision rendered today.”

Wallace Blames Trump for Unruly Debate

Chris Wallace, the Fox News personality that moderated the presidential debate between President Trump and former Vice-President Joe Biden, blamed Trump for the cacophony of angry voices talking over each other that took place at the event.

“Granted, Mr. Biden was the first to break the rules about interrupting, but in my judgment he deserved a little leeway given his diminished mental capacity compared to Trump,” Wallace contended. “And yes, I did more interrupting than either of the candidates did, but I was just trying to level the playing field by fact-checking what I considered Trump’s misleading and inaccurate statements.”

As an example of what he maintained justified him siding with Biden, Wallace said that “if a former vice-president says he will not answer my question it it up to me to press him if I feel it is warranted. It was improper for Trump to chime in demanding that Mr. Biden answer my question. Trump was attempting to invade my turf.”

“Likewise, Trump’s irritation on being repeatedly asked to denounce white power extremism was unjustified,” Wallace asserted. “Sure, I asked him the same thing in the 2016 debate and many of my colleagues in the media have done the same thing dozens of times since then. And yes, Trump has denounced white extremism every time he’s been asked, but what is wrong about us wanting to hear it again? As for Mr. Biden refusing to denounce Antifa, well I’m with him on that. Antifa is just an idea. To my mind we don’t denounce ideas. That would be a violation of freedom of speech.”

“I think the greatest loss, though, was that the viewers did not get to hear me ask all of the questions I had in my book,” Wallace lamented. “My staff spent many hours crafting questions precisely tailored for each candidate. If it hadn’t been for Trump’s insistence that he be heard I could’ve put a stake through the heart of the monster that has misgoverned this country the last four years.”

Biden Vows to Hike Taxes on Middle Class

In the summer of 2017, the Trump Administration proposed and the Congress enacted the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act. This legislation cut tax rates in every bracket and ensured higher take-home pay for the working and middle classes. The average family of four saved $2,000 in taxes and 91% in the middle income quintile received a tax cut. The US economy boomed.

During this week’s debate Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden told viewers that “I’m going to eliminate the Trump tax cuts. The Republican notion that people have a right to keep more of their hard-earned money is mistaken and selfish. Individuals do not have the necessary knowledge or incentives to determine the best use of our nation’s scarce resources. Only the government knows which needs are more urgent than others. My administration will reverse Trump and the Republicans’ mistake and replace anarchic selfishness with collective solidarity. As I’ve always said, there isn’t anything we can’t accomplish as long as we do it together. Making sure we all move together in the same direction at the same time will magnify the power of government to achieve great things.”

In related news, a CNN analysis found that almost all of the big banks and brokerage firms of Wall Street are backing Biden over Trump. Their donations to elect Biden have topped $51 million, while their donations to elect Trump are less than $11 million.

Cuomo Blames Trump for NY Deficit

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) repudiated the state’s debt and vowed “not to pay a single cent of it. Every prior president and congress has recognized that New York is America’s ‘trophy wife’ and covered the losses incurred in running this country’s greatest state. It is only Trump and the Republicans in congress who are now balking at bearing a burden gladly accepted by both Parties prior to now.”

The City of New York has a current $9 billion shortfall. The State of New York has a $30 billion shortfall. These gaps were created by the combined profligacy of both the City and State governments and the insanely strict lock-down policies that are strangling commerce.

“Profligacy has been a long-standing policy of our state and its largest city for decades,” Cuomo pointed out. “You can’t have the highest paid public employees with the nation’s most generous retirement benefits without incurring significant costs. If you want quality, you have to pay the price. Every American must pay his or her fair share of the cost for maintaining the standard of living for these loyal civil servants.”

“At the same time, our tax revenue stream has been annihilated by the measures we implemented to combat the COVID-19 pandemic,” the Governor reminded. “Some have maintained that we were too strict and that the lock-downs have lasted too long. I say that as long as one life can be saved no restriction is too strict nor in place too long. Since the arrival of COVID is not our fault we shouldn’t have to bear the burdens our measures have inflicted on the citizens of New York. It is Trump’s job to extract the funds needed to pay these costs from whoever has the money. If he won’t do this job voters should elect a Democrat who will. Until that happens, I’m not accepting any responsibility for the debts we owe.”

In related news, Cuomo has ordered the state’s contingent of the National Guard to clean up the garbage thrown into the streets of New York City by its residents. “Mayor de Blasio’s plan to rely on the booming population of rats to eat the excess garbage is too ‘iffy’ for my taste,” Cuomo said. “Rather than allow the Guard to sit on their asses in the midst of this emerging health crisis, I’m ordering them to haul the garbage to New Jersey and dump it there during the nighttime hours.”

Another Nobel Prize Nomination for Trump

Australian law professor David Flint along with several colleagues has nominated President Trump for yet another Nobel Peace Prize. Citing what he dubbed the “Trump Doctrine,” Flint said “President Trump’s deviation from the previous American policy of permanent war is an extraordinary shift toward common sense that has saved lives and will continue to do so as long as the new policy persists.”

Joe Biden, Trump’s opponent in the 2020 presidential election, called the nomination “just as laughable as the other two he received earlier this year. The readiness to engage in permanent war for permanent peace has been the bedrock foundation of American foreign policy for as long as I can remember. When Barack was president every bad guy on the face of the Earth knew he was within a whisker of being droned to death. This supported the balance-of-terror needed to fend off an even worse conflagration.”