Socialists Demand Monthly $2,000 Checks

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn), Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich) and 50 other House members are pushing President Biden to issue an Executive Order that would authorize “monthly $2,000 stimulus checks to every person in the country until the pandemic ends.”

“This would mean that a family of four would receive a federal subsidy of $80,000 per year,” Omar exclaimed. “At the stroke of a pen, every family—citizens and non-citizens alike—would never need to work again to support a comfortable lifestyle.”

With several COVID experts, like Dr. Anthony Fauci and vaccine maker Moderna, declaring that this virus may be with us for a long time, maybe from this point forward, Omar remained unswayed, saying that “I can’t see a downside to providing every family with a decent standard of living. The utopia envisioned by Marx would become a reality. The choice to work or not work could then be freely decided without the pressure of economic necessity.”

Neither was Omar concerned that too many might opt out of work. “As we saw during the COVID shutdowns, the government has the power to declare certain industries as ‘essential.’ Naturally, the workers required to provide essential services would be ordered to continue working for the good of the whole society. From time-to-time the best of these essential workers could be recognized as ‘heroes’ and receive commendations or medals they could wear to advertise their status.”

“The government has had the power to create money ever since the Federal Reserve System was established more than 100 years ago,” the Congresswoman asserted. “The failure to fully use this power condemned generations to poverty and want. Though many of the criminals responsible for inflicting such suffering are dead, those who are still alive must be tracked down and punished. This will deter others from seeking to perpetuate these cruel and criminal policies.”

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