NYC to Eliminate “Honor Roll”

By: John Semmens

Mayor Bill de Blasio’s Department of Education is planning to get rid of schools’ honor rolls. “By extolling excellence we harm the psyches of the other students,” the Mayor complained. “Not everyone has the ability to excell or even pass the classes our schools offer. When these lesser able students see peers praised for outdoing them they can’t help but feel somehow diminished. Considering the racial composition of those who make the honor roll com[pared to those who don’t, the whole scheme looks racist.”

DeBlasio complained that “the very practice of acknowledging accomplishment is inherently inequitable. By doing it in our schools we enforce the idea that a person who invents a new product or starts a profitable business is in some way a more valuable member of society than a person who lives on welfare or turns to crime as a way of life. If we want to end the notion that some people are better than others we need to start by ending the practice of rewarding those who master the subjects we teach in our schools.”

As a substitute for honoring high achievers the Mayor urged that “we honor students for their efforts. A mentally challenged student who manages to come to class more or less regularly is more worthy than a gifted student who easily grasps academic knowledge. Grading should be modified to reflect this socially progressive reality.”

One thought on “NYC to Eliminate “Honor Roll”

  1. Thane Eichenauer

    Does Bill de Blasio ever consider what happens when you stop rewarding achievement? While I was reading this article I was wondering if it was a satire piece.

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