Biden Wants to “Pack” Vice-Presidency

By: John Semmens

Concerned that the duties of being vice-president may be too much for Kamala Harris to handle, President Biden has asked advisors “to see if there is a way to increase the number VPs. Take a look at the big corporations. Many of them have multiple vice-presidents. The job of running America is much more complicated than running a corporation. If corporations need more than one VP then surely the nation needs more as well.”

Biden is rumored to have suggested several names he wants considered. These include, Stacey Abrams, Michelle Obama, and Jill Biden. His Chief of Staff Ron Klain explained that “a powerful case can be made for each of these women. Stacey would have been elected governor of Georgia in 2018, but was cheated out of it due to Republican suppression of the black vote. Michelle was a very popular First Lady and a key player in the Obama Administration. And Jill has been very crucial to making the President appear presentable. There is also the community-property aspect to consider. As Joe’s wife she is legally entitled to half of everything he has.”

“Ideally, all three of these candidates could be sworn in as VPs,” Klain maintained. “Each would bring different skills and be assigned different tasks. Abrams would be perfect as a champion of the elimination of all existing voter ID laws. Michelle would be an authoritative voice for helping Americans get in shape by eating right and exercising regularly. Jill could continue to keep Joe from wandering into traffic. And, of course, Kamala could use her fluency in foreign languages to win the hearts and minds of our allies and adversaries around the world. All of them would garner much-needed recognition and help lighten the load on Joe.”

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