California to Become Abortion Sanctuary

By: John Semmens

In the event that the Supreme Court overturns its 1973 Roe v. Wade decision that made abortion the law of the land, Gov. Galvin Newsom (D-Calif) is boasting that his state “will become an abortion sanctuary for the entire world. We have the will and the votes to go far beyond the bounds of the Roe v. Wade decision, which essentially only protected abortion during the first two trimesters.”

Based on the oral arguments between the Justices and the attorneys representing both sides of the issue, it is speculated that the Court seems most likely to rule that it will be up to each state to make its own laws on abortion. Some states are expected to significantly restrain the practice. Others, like California, are expected to significantly loosen or abolish any restraints.

Newsom envisioned abortion “taking up some of the slack in our state’s economy. We used to be able to count on oil production, shipping, and manufacturing to provide jobs and tax receipts. However, tightened environmental regulations and high tax rates have dampened the contributions we can expect from these sectors. By making abortion an anytime, anywhere service we can dominate this market. By expanding tax-funded abortions to include covering the travel and lodging costs for persons too poor to pay their own way we can draw customers from any place on the planet.”

The Governor also touted the “environmental benefits of an abortion-based economy. Oil drilling and shipping produce significant amounts of pollution. Aborting unwanted babies is a cleaner industry. There is high demand for the parts that can be salvaged. Sale of the organs and tissues that are still intact will become a great revenue source for our state. And the elimination of surplus population will ease the human burden on the environment for years to come.”

In related news, Newsom objected to the rash of recent smash-and-grab incidents being characterized as a crime wave because “in California the theft of less than $950 by a person in any single robbery is not illegal.”

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