Pelosi Warns Olympic Athletes

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) warned US athletes “to keep their mouths shut while they’re in Beijing. The Chinese government is ruthless. There is no retaliation so terrible that it would not dare to inflict it on whoever they feel is most vulnerable to pressure.”

“I know the athletes are young and strong,” Pelosi observed. “They are their physical peak and cannot imagine having to knuckle under to a brutal regime. But they need to remember that accidents can happen. Things can go wrong, and injustices could be committed.”

One of the potential injustices that Pelosi suggested might be particularly likely is “the possible confiscation of business investments that I, President Biden, and many other members of Congress could face if President Xi is angered by any misbehavior of our nation’s Olympians. We aren’t all young and vigorous. The investment deals we have made with the Xi regime are vital to ensuring comfort in our golden years. I implore our athletes to not be selfish. Think before you do or say anything that could result in the loss of millions of dollars by those of us who have dedicated our lives to governing this great country of ours.”

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