Gov Says His Dictatorial Rule Necessary

By: John Semmens

Washington Gov. Jay Inslee insists that “the continuation of my rule by emergency decree is necessary to prevent a coup by Trump and his right-wing extremist supporters. Only by ensuring that dictatorial powers remain in the hands of enlightened progressives like myself can democracy be saved from overthrow.”

Inslee cited “Trump’s encouragement of the development of covid vaccines via Operation Warp Speed is a prime example of the threat to democracy he poses. Sure, he helped make vaccines available, but he didn’t force everyone to get vaccinated. That task was left to the Democratic president who succeeded him. Eighty-one million voters chose Biden over Trump in 2020. Biden used this as a mandate to compel submission to being vaccinated. That is what democracy is all about—choosing a leader and then obeying his decrees. Well, voters also chose me. I won’t let them down.”

Washington House Minority Leader JT Wilcox contends that “Inslee’s demand that he be allowed to continue rule by decree is the antithesis of democracy. Democracy isn’t just the right to vote for a person to hold public office. It also includes basic freedoms like the freedom to disagree with the government without being persecuted by that government, the right to pursue happiness, and the liberty to to try to achieve it.”

US Supreme Court Says State AG Can Defend Law

By: John Semmens

In an 8-1 decision, the US Supreme Court ruled that Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron has the authority to defend the state’s law against live-dismemberment abortions. The ruling reversed a 6th Circuit Court decision that “a State Attorney General lacks the authority to take action counter to the wishes of the current Governor.”

Writing for the majority, Justice Alito said that “defending the state’s laws is an independent function of the state’s Attorney General. The fact that the current governor disagrees with a law enacted prior to his administration is not a valid reason for trying to negate its defense in court. His only legitimate route is to ask the current legislature to repeal the law.”

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) disagreed with the Supreme Court’s decision, saying that “first, quibbling over how an unwanted child is dispatched should not impede a woman’s legal right to terminate that child. There may be good medical reasons for why dismembering the child is necessary. For example, the pregnancy might be too far along for a less gruesome method to be safe and effective. Second, since it is inconceivable that the Supreme Court will reverse its 1973 Roe v. Wade precedent, state efforts to limit the unrestricted right to an abortion created by that decision must inevitably be struck down. The efforts of Cameron and his ilk are just wasted motion clogging up the system.”

In related news, President Biden vowed “to give up ice cream for lent as penance for my continued support of abortion. Personally, I’m against it. I would never have one myself, but Democrat voters demand that their freedom to dispose of unwanted children must be legally protected. This includes the women who don’t want to be mothers and the men who don’t want to be fathers. Not every father can have a son as brave as Beau or as financially successful as Hunter. So, I can’t blame them for wanting out of their obligation to support a child they sired.”

Buttigieg Defends Incoherent Energy Policy

By: John Semmens

Since Russia’s war on Ukraine is largely funded by profits from selling its oil and gas, MSNBC journalist Stephanie Ruhle wondered “why the sanctions President Biden imposed do not include the 700,000 barrels of petroleum products per day the US buys from Russia? Aren’t these purchases aiding and abetting Russia’s aggression?”

US Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg admitted that “to the unsophisticated observer it looks that way, but since the President has committed this country to weaning itself off of fossil fuels he had to cancel the Keystone Pipeline and shut down oil drilling on public lands. The 800,000 barrels a day that Keystone could have provided would have enabled us to completely boycott Russian oil. The short-term impact of such a boycott could have seriously undermined Russia’s war effort, but it would also undermine our conversion to green energy.”

“Yes, I see that,” Ruhle said, “but doesn’t replacing US produced energy with Russian-produced energy also undermine the green energy agenda?”

“You make a good point,” the Secretary acknowledged. “However, in the months running up to the November elections the price spike for gasoline that would result from a boycott would severely hamper the chances for Democrats to retain our majorities in Congress. Helping to fund Russia’s war by buying their petroleum is the lesser evil. The thousands of lives lost in Ukraine would be bad. The dozens of seats lost in Congress would be an intolerable disaster for our country. After the elections will be the time for Democrats to push the price of gasoline beyond the reach of selfish individuals who put their own freedom of mobility ahead of their collective duty to sacrifice for a greener tomorrow.”

In related news, by a vote of 221-202, Democrats in the House rebuffed a GOP effort aimed at reclaiming the energy independence achieved during the Trump Administration by restarting the Keystone Pipeline and allowing oil drilling on public land. Speaker Nancy Pelosi called the GOP measure an unnecessary attempt to embarrass the President. He has already ordered the release of 60 million barrels of oil from our strategic reserves.” Sixty million barrels is enough to meet three days worth of US demand.

I’ve been an Arizona Conservative for over 40 years. Opposing mail in ballots is just stupid.

At some point republicans in Arizona are going to need to have a come-to-Jesus-moment on mail in voting. The majority of voters in Arizona are republican (34.5%), older (55%) and use mail in voting (80%) like me. These are undisputed facts and we’ve been living with them since 1992. So, when candidates, especially ones running for high profile state races endorse scraping vote by mail it makes me think they don’t know anything about Arizona’s vote by mail system or Arizona’s history. I mean we did go decades without a Democrat in statewide office right?

Kari Lake recently said that ending mail-in-voting would curb opportunities for “mischief by the unscrupulous.”

It is true Democrat Adrian Fontes, who lost reelection as Maricopa County Recorder in the 2020 election to Republican Stephen Richer, did attempt to send out mail in ballots to every registered voter during the pandemic but he was stopped by the Republican Governor, Democrat Secretary of State and Republican AG. In addition, the reason we know that there have been attempts at voter fraud through the vote-by-mail system is because they keep getting caught. So her argument fails when faced with facts and those facts demonstrate that the system in this state works.

Long standing Arizona voters and residents are aware that our mail-in-voting system is the gold standard in the nation and the multiple audits over the years (including the cyber ninja one) have found that the Arizona system is accurate and secure. Under Arizona law, election officials must compare signatures on early ballots to the signatures on voter registration forms, DMV documents and petitions. In addition, machines that tabulate early ballots are subjected to a logic and accuracy test by the Secretary of State’s Office to ensure they’re working properly, and tabulation centers are required to have webcams operating 24 hours a day to allow the public to see areas where ballots are counted.

Most Arizona’s are also aware that their populations have been exploding. Traffic congestion is getting worse and long lines at polling locations are already hours long. Experts estimate that prohibiting mail in voting would increase the volume at polling locations 10-12 times. If wait times at polling places are 3-4 hours long now how bad would they be after ending mail in voting? At a minimum it would cost tax payers millions of dollars to create and staff more polling locations. It is just not prudent or practical.

So, republicans are faced with a game changing decision abandon mail in voting or lose future elections.

Gross Violation of Human Rights”

By: John Semmens

The police-state inflicted on New Zealand by Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern received a severe rebuke from the country’s high court this week when Justice Francis Cooke ruled that “ordering people to be vaccinated or face losing their jobs was not a reasonably justified breach of the Bill of Rights. The mandate impinged on the basic right to decline a medical procedure.”

Cooke also observed that “inasmuch as the current situation is one in which those vaccinated are just as likely as those who are not to become infected with and transmit the latest variant of covid, there is no medical evidence to support a vaccination mandate. It is an infringement without practical value.”

Ardern is said to be perplexed by the ruling and uncertain on what to do next. “I’ve been proceeding on the assumption that restricting freedom is essential for the battle against this dread disease,” she asserted. “Left on their own, people engage in all sorts of unhealthy habits. The covid emergency gave the government leeway to interdict these behaviors. If we accept the court’s ruling as dispositive the anarchy of individual choice will prevent a unified front for imposing life-saving limits on the ignorant masses who depend on us to guide them to safety.”

Internationally recognized covid expert Dr. Anthony Fauci called the New Zealand court’s decision “a potential calamity of unconstrained magnitude. Individual freedom must take a backseat to public health. Courts do the people a disservice by contradicting the advice of experts and restraining the power of government to compel obedience to that advice. Allowing individuals to decide for themselves whether to receive inoculations prescribed for them by their governing authorities is a step backward from the new world order we have had so much success in promoting during the pandemic.”

Meanwhile, Democrats in California want to extend the abuse of power accumulated during the pandemic by passing two bills. AB1993 would require everyone holding a job—full or part time, public or private sector—to prove they’ve been vaccinated if they want to keep their job. AB 2098 would strip the medical licenses from any doctors who disagree with state-approved “facts” regarding covid vaccines or treatments. In separate action, Gov. Gavin Newsom is establishing a state agency “to work full time stifling any information contradicting the narrative surrounding covid and the vaccines. Others may welcome a return to the lax pre-covid era where people were free to make their own health choices. I am not.”

In related news, California has the lowest literacy rate of any state—a statistic that Newsom hailed as “a major contributor to our success as a political party.”

GOP Reps Told to “Shut Up”

By: John Semmens

During his State-of-the-Union speech, President Biden made yet another attempt to exploit the death of his “heroic” son Beau from brain cancer. Unlike his disgraced son Hunter who was discharged from the Navy for drug abuse, Beau was deployed to Iraq in 2008. In 2015 he died of brain cancer, which his father speculated may have been caused by exposure to toxic smoke from “burn pits.” The President’s intent was to show that he, too, has experience the pain of loss from a war.

This tale of woe marked the 1,000th time the President has referred to the loss of his son. During this rendition two Republican members of the House of Representatives–Marjorie Taylor Greene (GA) and Lauren Boebert (CO)–interjected “what about the 13” who were killed in the President’s botched Afghanistan withdrawal. At this point, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) shouted back “shut up.”

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) praised Graham’s courage and wisdom, saying “he’s one of the few Republicans who understands the role required of a minority party and is willing to turn on his own Party’s members to enforce it. The President is the only one elected to speak for the whole nation. It is the obligation of everyone else to support and applaud what he has to say. That’s what unity means. Sadly, what we mostly get from the Republicans is unpatriotic opposition and terroristic obstruction from people like Greene and Boebert. I am confident that voters will rebuff these kinds of attacks by electing a Democratic majority to the House and Senate this Fall.”

Canadian Tyranny Inspires Arizona Democrat

By: John Semmens

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s trial run for tyranny inspired Rep. Ruben Gallego (D-AZ) to call for its replication in the United States. “Confiscating the trucks and seizing the bank accounts of the unruly opponents of the government’s covid vaccine mandates was glorious,” he declared. “The efficiency of simply declaring an emergency opened up an opportunity to rule by decree, designate the offenders as outlaws and mete out punishment.”

“When you have no access to your money and the government takes the property you depend on to earn a living it has gone a long way toward neutralizing you and intimidating anyone else who might contemplate objecting to being told what to do,” the Congressman observed. “President Biden has declared a continuation of the covid emergency and now we see truckers trying to pull the same type of freedom convoy to DC to protest. Lets follow the Canadian model and crackdown on them.”

Gallego brushed off the contention that the crackdown he advocates violates rights explicitly protected in the Constitution, saying “they have a constitution in Canada and that didn’t stop Trudeau. Owning property, running a business, and earning a living are all privileges allowed by government in exchange for good behavior. Those who refuse to obey official mandates do not exhibit good behavior. They need to be taught a lesson to discourage others from defying authority.”

Gallego was encouraged by polls showing that 65% of Democrats approve of the type of oppression he advocates. “When we have the backing of a majority of the one true defender of democracy we shouldn’t shirk from the opportunity to exercise the power they have bestowed on us,” he said. “No one has the right to resist the government of, by, and for the people. Those who insist on doing it are insurrectionists who need to feel the weight of the state pressing down on them.”

In related news, Tamara Lich, one of the organizers of the Canadian protest, was denied bail. The “crime” of which she is accused is “counselling to commit mischief.” The judge who refused to allow her out on bail acknowledged that “mischief doesn’t sound so dire to the average person, but from the perspective of the government, there is more to be feared from a sincere opponent than a felonious criminal. The civilians robbed, raped, and murdered by thugs are expendable. The Prime Minister is not. Threats to his rule must be dealt with as harshly as he deems proper for safeguarding his authority.”

Covid DNA Matches Moderna Patent

By: John Semmens

A new study, published in Frontiers in Virology found that the DNA of the coronavirus bears an uncanny resemblance to a genetic code patented by Moderna in 2016. This was prior to the pandemic. The researchers estimated the odds against this being an innocent coincidence are three trillion to one.

Dr. Anthony Fauci, foremost scientist in the world, insisted that “this proves nothing. One chance in three trillion is NOT zero. There are trillions of stars that are trillions of miles from Earth. On the trillions of planets that orbit these stars there are trillions of cells. Some of these cells may bear a resemblance to those in a product manufactured by Moderna. Does that prove that Moderna made them?”

“Hard as it may be for the average non-scientist to believe that gain-of-function research at a bioweapons lab wasn’t responsible for the creation of a virus that has killed millions, that is what they must learn to accept,” the Doctor argued. “To think otherwise would undermine everything we have done over the past two years to lead the human herd to safety. The notion that all the hardships inflicted by governments at the behest of the best scientists in the world were to further power lust and greed is too horrible to contemplate. That’s why one uniform message must be enforced by whatever means is necessary.”

In related news, it was discovered that the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has been withholding a large portion of the data on covid and the vaccines. CDC spokeswoman Kristen Nordlund said “keeping this information under wraps was done out of concern for the mental health of the American people. Full transparency would have undermined faith in the actions the government took to fight the pandemic. If the lack of scientific validity for much of what was done combined with its ineffectiveness and danger had been widely known, the President’s leverage for achieving the unity he promised would’ve been severely curtailed.”

The American Federation of Government Employees cited “the CDC’s withholding of information and the fact that the vaccines simply don’t work,” in their lawsuit against Biden’s mandate that they must take the jab in order to keep their cushy government jobs. The Union’s Attorney Bruce Castor pointed out that “the latest data on infections shows that people who have gotten the shots are worse off than people who haven’t. They’re also more likely to infect others. It simply makes no sense for my clients to be forced to take these vaccines.”

Biden’s Ukraine Strategy Called “Brilliant”

By: John Semmens

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) called President Biden’s Strategy for handling the war in Ukraine “brilliant.” Asked to briefly describe the strategy, she said “no one knows what it is. That’s what makes it brilliant. The incoherence of simultaneously announcing sanctions, but continuing to purchase oil from Russia defies comprehension. The combination of talking tough while avoiding any effective countermeasures has got to be driving Putin nuts.”

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton bolstered the Democrat meme by asserting that “the President’s response has been well executed. He has been able to rally our NATO allies to echo his tough talk. So, to the general public its looks like the kind of united front that Trump could never have achieved given his repeated demands that our allies pay their fair share of the costs for the defense of their countries.”

Press Secretary Jen Psaki said “the President’s redeployment of Border Patrol agents to Ukraine is ingenious and innovative. These people have been aiding invaders from Mexico to reach desired destinations in America by putting them on planes and flying them there. Once they are sent to Ukraine they will be able to tempt Russian troops with the same offer. Coming to the United States with all-expenses-paid has got to be a better deal than getting shot by armed Ukrainian civilians. I think this policy is Nobel Peace Prize worthy.”

Word that Ukraine’s President Zelenskyy and Putin are trying to arrange a meeting to achieve peace was strongly denounced by State Department spokesperson Ned Price who maintained that “the President has not authorized these negotiations and will not be bound by any agreement between them to end hostilities. More than the peace between these two countries is at stake. Both must make a show of crediting the President for inspiring them to reconcile. This needs to include a multi-million dollar cash payment to the President’s son for the efforts President Biden has made toward quelling this crisis.”

In related news, the Russian invasion of Ukraine has apparently ruined The View’s Joy Behar’s planned European vacation. “How can I fly to Italy when a Russian fighter plane may shoot down the plane I’m on?” she whined. “I blame Trump.”

Hillary Responds to Durham Allegations

By: John Semmens

This week, Special Prosecutor John Durham indicated that he is farther along on his investigation of the 2016 election crimes. He says the evidence proves that Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign paid hackers to spy on Trump’s campaign.

Clinton mocked “this so-called scandal. The enemies who have schemed to deny me my turn to be president want voters to think that I did something illegal. Well, the fact is, all of the actions Durham characterizes as crimes were fully authorized by outgoing President Obama. He realized what a disaster it would be for the country to have an uncouth outsider invade the halls of government and agreed to assist me as the only viable way to stop Trump from overthrowing our democracy.”

“Someone once said ‘if the president does it, it’s not illegal.’” Clinton recalled. “That’s called ‘sovereign immunity.’ Well, in 2016 President Obama was our immune sovereign. He approved my intelligence gathering and sabotage plans. He even got the FBI to aid and abet my efforts. The sad thing is it would’ve worked if the government had the same level of control over what people could say on social media that it has had during the pandemic. The problem is these media weren’t yet ready to go whole hog on shutting off unpatriotic contradictions of the government’s dictates.”