Pelosi: “America” Wants Democrats to Win in November

Despite polls indicating that 80% of Americans feel the country is headed in the wrong direction, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) insists that “America wants Democrats to win the November elections. Joe Biden has been a great President. I can’t think of anyone who would be more suited to lead us in these perilous times of runaway inflation, rising crime, and war. As this truth sinks in voters will help solidify our Party’s control of Congress so Republicans can be prevented from blocking further progress.”

“Now that a monkey pox pandemic is about to hit I’m confident that the people will want President Biden’s proven leadership during the covid crisis to impose the same kind of tough measures that enabled us to survive the covid menace,” Pelsosi predicted. “Only he has the brains and guts to reinstitute the lockdowns, social distancing, face masks, and vaccines that will be needed to save lives.”

Sen. Rand Paul observed that “no rational person could possibly put any faith in the notion that repeating the mistakes made about covid could be a viable strategy for any national problem. I doubt that any substantial portion of the population could be stampeded into the type of hysteria needed to get them to vote Democrat.”

In other bad news for Democrats, Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone banned Pelosi from receiving Catholic communion “until she repents her support for making the evil of abortion federal law. For years she was content to claim a personal reverence for the lives of the unborn while allowing the blame for abortion’s legality to fall on the Roe v. Wade decision. But leading the effort to have the House make abortion the law of the land makes her an active perpetrator of this murderous assault on the most helpless members of humanity.”

Asked for her reaction to the Archbishop’s action, a spokesperson for Pelosi asserted that “the Speaker does not respond to hate speech or hateful actions from any source. She will continue to exercise her constitutionally protected right to freely exercise her religion and to take whatever countermeasures necessary to punish those who seek to infringe upon this right no matter how high and mighty they may think themselves.”

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