USA Today Alters Op Ed Policy

By: John Semmens

The largest newspaper chain in the US has told its editors to modify their op ed publication policy. CEO Mike Reed cited reader complaints for the policy shift, saying “our effort to fit in with the unity theme of the Biden Administration has not set well among our readers. They don’t want our papers to tell them how to think. They suggest that we hire writers who are not left-wing activists.”

“The big problem is that the number of subscribers is declining,” Reed continued. “While 80% of our readers who are Democrats express trust and confidence, only 35% of our readers who are Republicans do. Six years ago the trust and confidence numbers for the two groups was 80% and 70%, respectively. Clearly, preaching to the choir is not a viable business strategy. We need to rectify this.”

Reed indicated that “the basic approach will to leave pages devoted to political news blank with only neutral sounding words like ‘Inflation: Curse or Blessing?’ ‘Criminals: Let Them All Go Free or Kill Them?’ or ‘Is Nuclear War the Answer?’ as the headlines. Readers can then fill in the blank spaces with whatever content they want. I think readers will feel more a part of the process than they do now with our predominately left-wing slant. Uniform political rhetoric will be replaced with a wider array of ideas, some of them crazy, some of them new and innovative. Satisfaction rates among our readers should go up and more subscriptions be sold. Since our readers will be writing for free we’ll also save the money we were paying the left-wing activists to write for us.”

Biden Administration Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre called USA Today‘s change in policy “a disturbing threat to the unity the President has been seeking to inflict on the American people. Who knows what kind of nonsense will show up in the blank spaces provided? Filling those pages with the words of left-wing activists was a main bulwark for preserving our peoples’ democratic republic. The President may be forced to issue an order to shut the USA Today chain down.”

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