DOJ Explains Disparate Approach to Abortion Issue

Under intense questioning by members of the Senate Judiciary Committee, Attorney General Merrick Garland acknowledged that “our office has had much more success prosecuting anti-abortionists who pray outside of abortion clinics than it has going after pro-abortionists that firebomb pregnancy centers.”

Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) was unimpressed by Garland’s glib rationalization and suggested a different approach. “There have been 81 reported attacks on pregnancy centers and 130 attacks on Catholic churches since the Supreme Court’s overturning of the Roe v. Wade decision was first leaked a year ago,” he said. “Yet, only two individuals have been charged for these crimes. Why is that?”

“Anti-abortion fanatics commit their offenses in broad daylight,” Garland replied. “Pro-abortionists do their deeds after dark. Their more persistent efforts to conceal their activities makes it harder for us to go after them. It’s not a double standard per se. It’s more a matter of grabbing the low-hanging fruit.”

“Isn’t arson a more serious crime than trying to persuade a woman not to go through with aborting her baby?” Lee asked. “Isn’t it more important to go after those violent criminals?”

“Well, we want to close cases,” Garland said. “The less violent offenders are easier to arrest. There are plenty of eye-witnesses and open admissions of guilt. So, statistically, our efforts look more impressive in terms of getting people convicted and sentenced. That is what impresses when it comes time to persuade lawmakers to enact more generous budgets for our department for the next year. It’s also what the American people want us to do considering the fact that they voted overwhelmingly to elect the pro-abortion Biden over the anti-abortion Trump president in the 2020 election.”

In related news, Filmmaker and leftist loon Michael Moore called for a nationwide boycott of Walgreens for refusing to sell abortion pills in states where it is illegal to do so. “Making it inconvenient for women to abort their unwanted children is a crime against humanity,” Moore asserted. “Why should women who don’t want to be mothers have to go to the trouble of traveling to a neighboring state or ordering the pills through the mail from a state where the pills are legal? Is there no atrocity that the anti-abortionists won’t commit to try to get their way on this issue?”

In New York where abortion pills are legal, Gov. Kathy Hochul (D) ignorantly warned pharmacies in her state “to continue to supply these pills or face dire consequences. All of our efforts must ensure that the sacred right of abortion is never abridged anywhere in the world. If driving every pharmacy in the state out of business is the price we must pay to achieve this, I’m all in.”

On The View TV show an even loonier Jane Fonda suggested that “a woman would be justified in killing anyone who tries to prevent her from aborting her unwanted child.”

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