Dems Block School Safety Bills

By: John Semmens

This week’s massacre of 19 students and two teachers at the Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas reignited the debate between Republicans and Democrats on how best to prevent future mass murders. Democrats want to outlaw guns. Republicans want to harden the target zones and make it easier for private citizens to carry firearms.

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) blamed “Democrat opposition to two 2013 bills. One would have appropriated $300 million in federal grants to harden schools to make them safer, to make them more protected. The other directed the Department of Justice to prosecute and put in jail felons and fugitives who try to illegally buy firearms. Instead, Democrats insist on disarming law-abiding gun owners.”

Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) characterized “the Republican focus on countervailing force a flawed concept. As we saw in Uvalde, dozens of heavily armed police stood by for over an hour while a gunman methodically assassinated his victims. Belief in the so-called good guys with guns option is disproved by the repeated incompetence and cowardice of our police. Suffocating an unarmed and cuffed George Floyd is a risk they’re ready to take, but rescuing children from an armed assailant is too much to ask. The only sensible option is for all private ownership of guns to be prohibited.”

Cruz said “Schumer’s universal disarmament proposal is a dangerous fantasy. Criminals aren’t going to obey gun laws. The Uvalde shooter violated the school’s ‘no gun zone’ status under current law. Obviously, we can’t depend on law-enforcement personnel to be the only source of protection. Private citizens must not be stripped of their right to bear arms for self-defense. If enough citizens are armed criminals cannot count on easy targets. Some will be deterred. Others will be shot down once their hostile intentions are exhibited like the man in West Virginia firing an AR-15 rifle at a graduation party was shot down by a woman carrying a concealed pistol.”

“One isolated incident of a private citizen using deadly force to save lives is not a sound foundation for crafting a sane nationwide policy on guns,” Schumer contended. “What Sen. Cruz forgets is that a widely armed population poses a deadly threat to those of us who must govern this country. Outlawing private ownership of guns combined with personal bodyguards for important government officials is the optimal feasible approach to protect lives that are essential to a functioning democracy.”

In related news, Rep. Veronica Escobar (D-TX) used the Uvalde killings to argue for more gun regulation, asking “why can’t we strictly regulate who is allowed to own a gun? We already regulate cars, alcohol, and cigarettes. Why not guns?” Escobar was unfazed by data showing that these other more heavily regulated items are still responsible for more fatalities each year than guns are.

Police Delay at Uvalde School Massacre Defended

By: John Semmens

As more facts about the law-enforcement response at the Robb Elementary School massacre become available, confidence in relying on police to save lives is being eroded. It seems that the pattern in police responses to school shootings that is frequently exhibited is reluctance to risk getting shot.

A Texas Department of Public Safety spokesman argued that “harsh as it may seem to the parents of children being killed by gunmen invading their schools, a rational risk/reward assessment must take precedence over an emotional expectation from untrained civilians. Despite more than a dozen desperate 911 calls coming from students trapped inside with the shooter, we can’t abide senselessly exposing officers to deadly risk when life-saving ballistic shields are just minutes away. A decision to wait for these shields both protects our investment in the officers’ training and justifies the expenditures incurred. Sadly, in this instance the minutes turned into more than an hour. Counterbalancing this is the fact that no officers were injured by the gunman in the incident.”

“We should also keep in mind the fact that the officers on the scene were not entirely idle while waiting for the ballistic shields,” the spokesman pointed out. “They were able to tase, tackle, cuff, and detain several parents in the crowd who were so frantic due to our inaction that they desperately tried to rescue their children themselves. Later we learned that a few off-duty officers took it upon themselves to rescue their own children. They will likely face disciplinary action for obstructing a police operation.”

Biden Admin Disinformation Effort Derailed

By: John Semmens

The less than month-old Disinformation Governance Board established by President Biden has been “put on hold” due to backlash against the idea that the Board reminded too many people of the “Ministry of Truth” in George Orwell’s distopian novel 1984. Given the chance to continue on the payroll with no job responsibilities, Nina Jankowicz decided to resign, saying “there’s no point in me staying on if I’m not going to be allowed to censor anyone’s erroneous statements or beliefs.”

Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre called this turn of events “tragic. We were putting together the most extensive and comprehensive suppression of mistaken ideas in American history. Ms. Jankowicz was an ideal person to carry out this mission. The survival of our democracy depends on a vigorous extermination of unwarranted criticism of the government. We were supremely confident of the skills she would have brought to this crucial battle.”

Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas expressed hope that “we can renew this effort to clamp down on dissident elements in the not too distant future. Perhaps we can come up with a less frightening name for the Board. Maybe this would mute the ferocious opposition we have seen over the last few weeks. Sorting out truth from falsehood is something that must be done. Jefferson’s notion that truth can emerge from vigorous debate is too risky for our modern era. We don’t want legitimate progressive passions like the anger over the pending loss of the Roe v. Wade protection of abortion rights to be illegitimately suppressed just because some of the words being used sound too violent–burning down the Supreme Court building and murdering the justices, for example. We need righteous rage if we want to achieve social justice.”

Biden Admin Disinformation Effort Derailed

The less than month-old Disinformation Governance Board established by President Biden has been “put on hold” due to backlash against the idea that the Board reminded too many people of the “Ministry of Truth” in George Orwell’s distopian novel 1984. Given the chance to continue on the payroll with no job responsibilities, Nina Jankowicz decided to resign, saying “there’s no point in me staying on if I’m not going to be allowed to censor anyone’s erroneous statements or beliefs.”

Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre called this turn of events “tragic. We were putting together the most extensive and comprehensive suppression of mistaken ideas in American history. Ms. Jankowicz was an ideal person to carry out this mission. The survival of our democracy depends on a vigorous extermination of unwarranted criticism of the government. We were supremely confident of the skills she would have brought to this crucial battle.”

Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas expressed hope that “we can renew this effort to clamp down on dissident elements in the not too distant future. Perhaps we can come up with a less frightening name for the Board. Maybe this would mute the ferocious opposition we have seen over the last few weeks. Sorting out truth from falsehood is something that must be done. Jefferson’s notion that truth can emerge from vigorous debate is too risky for our modern era. We don’t want legitimate progressive passions like the anger over the pending loss of the Roe v. Wade protection of abortion rights to be illegitimately suppressed just because some of the words being used sound too violent–burning down the Supreme Court building and murdering the justices, for example. We need righteous rage if we want to achieve social justice.”

Dems Reject Protecting Parents’ Free Speech Rights

BY: John Semmens

A Republican amendment to the Domestic Terrorism Act intended to exclude prosecution of parents for criticizing school policies was rejected by the Democrat majority on the House Rules Committee. The amendment was championed by Rep. Mark Green (R-Tenn) who argued that “last fall, parents across the United States were accused of being ‘domestic terrorists’ for speaking out against their child’s school’s curriculum. My amendment would bar the federal government from initiating a terrorism accusation against parents for peacefully questioning the instruction of their children.”

House Judiciary Committee chairman Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) characterized the Democrats position as “an abuse of federal power. Parents have a right to be concerned about the education of their children and to express those concerns to school officials at public meetings without being smeared as ‘domestic terrorists’ for voicing these concerns.”

House Rules Committee Chairman Jim McGovern (D-Mass) asserted that “domestic terrorism is a serious problem in this country. The government must have unfettered authority to combat it by any means it deems necessary. What Republicans regard as free speech is often disinformation and can serve as a cover for nefarious intentions. We should not let a misguided respect for the First Amendment undermine the proactive deployment of anti-terrorist tactics to stem unwarranted opposition to the progressive curriculum that the public schools are trying to implement.”

Dems Reject Protecting Parents’ Free Speech Rights

A Republican amendment to the Domestic Terrorism Act intended to exclude prosecution of parents for criticizing school policies was rejected by the Democrat majority on the House Rules Committee. The amendment was championed by Rep. Mark Green (R-Tenn) who argued that “last fall, parents across the United States were accused of being ‘domestic terrorists’ for speaking out against their child’s school’s curriculum. My amendment would bar the federal government from initiating a terrorism accusation against parents for peacefully questioning the instruction of their children.”

House Judiciary Committee chairman Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) characterized the Democrats position as “an abuse of federal power. Parents have a right to be concerned about the education of their children and to express those concerns to school officials at public meetings without being smeared as ‘domestic terrorists’ for voicing these concerns.”

House Rules Committee Chairman Jim McGovern (D-Mass) asserted that “domestic terrorism is a serious problem in this country. The government must have unfettered authority to combat it by any means it deems necessary. What Republicans regard as free speech is often disinformation and can serve as a cover for nefarious intentions. We should not let a misguided respect for the First Amendment undermine the proactive deployment of anti-terrorist tactics to stem unwarranted opposition to the progressive curriculum that the public schools are trying to implement.”

Pelosi: “America” Wants Democrats to Win in November

Despite polls indicating that 80% of Americans feel the country is headed in the wrong direction, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) insists that “America wants Democrats to win the November elections. Joe Biden has been a great President. I can’t think of anyone who would be more suited to lead us in these perilous times of runaway inflation, rising crime, and war. As this truth sinks in voters will help solidify our Party’s control of Congress so Republicans can be prevented from blocking further progress.”

“Now that a monkey pox pandemic is about to hit I’m confident that the people will want President Biden’s proven leadership during the covid crisis to impose the same kind of tough measures that enabled us to survive the covid menace,” Pelsosi predicted. “Only he has the brains and guts to reinstitute the lockdowns, social distancing, face masks, and vaccines that will be needed to save lives.”

Sen. Rand Paul observed that “no rational person could possibly put any faith in the notion that repeating the mistakes made about covid could be a viable strategy for any national problem. I doubt that any substantial portion of the population could be stampeded into the type of hysteria needed to get them to vote Democrat.”

In other bad news for Democrats, Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone banned Pelosi from receiving Catholic communion “until she repents her support for making the evil of abortion federal law. For years she was content to claim a personal reverence for the lives of the unborn while allowing the blame for abortion’s legality to fall on the Roe v. Wade decision. But leading the effort to have the House make abortion the law of the land makes her an active perpetrator of this murderous assault on the most helpless members of humanity.”

Asked for her reaction to the Archbishop’s action, a spokesperson for Pelosi asserted that “the Speaker does not respond to hate speech or hateful actions from any source. She will continue to exercise her constitutionally protected right to freely exercise her religion and to take whatever countermeasures necessary to punish those who seek to infringe upon this right no matter how high and mighty they may think themselves.”

Dems Worried About Covid

By: John Semmens

Biden COVID response coordinator Ashish Jha says he has “two major worries about a possible uptick in covid that could infect over 100 million Americans by Fall. The increasingly infectious variants mean more people will catch the disease. On the other hand, the diminishment of symptoms means that hardly anyone will realize they are infected.”

“People who don’t realize they are infected won’t feel an urgency to get tested or vaccinated,” he predicted. “The whole pandemic infrastructure will be underutilized. People will be going about their business as if life is normal. Their willingness to obey directives to wear masks, avoid crowds, shun social interactions, spy on their neighbors and report deviant behavior will wither. They may reject supporting the Party that cared for them these past few years and vote Republican in numbers too large to overcome via ballot harvesting. Unbelievers could displace the faithful and engineer a dangerous revival of the way we lived before the pandemic.”

Dr. Anthony Fauci sadly concurred with Jha’s assessment, saying “when covid was killing people by the thousands for week after week we had the people’s attention. They complied with our directives. They shuttered their businesses, wore masks, stopped going to church, did as they were told. The evolution of covid toward a milder disease has broken the bond of trust they put in us. Disbelief dogs our every utterance now. Those of us who have been fighting the pandemic since day one will likely come to regard it as ‘the good old days.’ I shudder to think of what it might be like with Republican majorities in both Houses of Congress. ‘Nightmare’ is the word that keeps reverberating in my brain.”

Biden Disinfo Czar Calls for Covert Social Media Editing

By: John Semmens

Nina Jankowicz, executive director of the Department of Homeland Security’s new Disinformation Governance Board, says she “will replace the crude and incendiary practices of banning social media users with a seamless covert editing process. As I see this process working, my office will create a ‘verified truth teller’ program where we will vet persons and select those who are fully in sync with the consensus of the right thinking segment of society. Those selected will be granted unimpeded access to all social media accounts on all the platforms and be authorized to alter the content to conform with the government’s approved message.”

Jankowicz characterized this as “the opposite of censorship. No one will be silenced, per se. There will still be posts with their names on them. Only offensive content will be altered. Animosities engendered by clashing opinions will be muted by a sea of amiable unanimity. Post after post will confirm each other in an unending chain. Every attempt to post incorrect ideas will be thwarted in a kind and gentle manner. No one will be vilified. Mutual praise and admiration will be the persistent ambiance everywhere on the web.”

Biden Predicts Roe v. Wade Reverse Could End Big Government

By: John Semmens

President Biden predicted that “overturning Roe v. Wade will lead to a cascade of other brutalities inflicted on this country by an out-of-control Supreme Court. Why wouldn’t they follow up the cruelty of allowing states to enact laws limiting a mother’s right to kill her own baby with a similar atrocity like allowing states to ban gay marriage?”

“Look, here’s the deal,” Biden said. “The logic behind overturning Roe v. Wade is that the 1973 Court lacked the authority to proclaim a nationwide right to abortion. There’s nothing in the Constitution authorizing the Court to do that. Likewise, there’s nothing in the Constitution authorizing the Court to proclaim a nationwide law regarding gay marriages either. All the authority regarding matters not explicitly delegated to the federal government in the Constitution are reserved to the states by the Tenth Amendment. There’s a mountain of federal statutes and executive branch actions that have no explicit authorization in the Constitution. What’s to stop the Court from sending all these issues back to the states?”

The President worried that “a strict adherence to the Constitution would severely limit the federal government’s power. For this nation’s first 150 years we had a ‘can’t do’ federal government. FDR changed all that and transformed us into a ‘can do’ outfit. Outdated limitations were jettisoned. The people loved him and his methods. Since those days benevolent presidents were free to help people without regard to whether there was any specific authority for their actions. Chaining our benevolent leaders to only those powers granted in the Constitution would exchange the very concrete benefits of a generous government for the perils of abstract individualism and personal responsibility. I don’t think the voters want that and will show it by punishing the Republicans in the November elections.

Green Dilemma: Clean Air = More Hurricanes

By: John Semmens

A recently completed National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration study found that a 50% decrease in air pollution particulates led to a 33% increase in Atlantic hurricanes. NOAA hurricane scientist Hiroyuki Murakami explained that “hurricanes need warm water to fuel them. The sun-blocking effects of particulates lower the temperature and act to reduce the quantity of warm water. Ironically, our successful effort to clear the air of these pollutants has made hurricanes worse.”

Biden’s EPA Administrator Michael Regan called the effects “transitory. The potential for air pollutants coming out of China should more than make up for the reductions achieved in the United States. Prevailing westerly winds should enable prior pollution levels to be restored and offset the greenhouse effect of cleaner air on ocean temperatures.”

“A potential ‘wild card’ in the equation is the possibility of nuclear war between Russia and the United States,” Regan speculated. “The amount of particulate debris that would be lifted into the air from such a war could drastically lower global temperatures. Glaciers would begin to grow. Sea levels would start to go lower. The feared planetary disruptions envisioned from global warming would be averted. So, here at the EPA we’re cautiously optimistic about the future climate.”

Boost Abortions to Fight Inflation

As spiraling inflation puts the pinch on many household budgets, Rep. Katie Porter (D-Calif) has a solution: “increase the number of abortions. As we all know inflation happens when too many dollars are chasing too few goods. Well, bringing new babies into the world aggravates this problem. In fact, one of major pressure points for increasing inflation has been seen in the consumption of baby formula. This problem could be significantly eased if fewer babies were brought to term.”

Porter complained that “rather than helping this problem the pending Supreme Court outlawing of abortion will only make things worse. Our Party’s attempt to counter this wrongheaded change in the long-standing Roe v. Wade law by authorizing abortion nationwide was blocked in the Senate by Republicans and a couple of turncoat Democrats. That’s why Press Secretary Jen Psaki advised mothers to consult their doctors on humane ways to euthanize babies they can no longer afford to feed.”

Meanwhile, Gov. Gavin Newsom is proposing “a bold plan to knock the legs out from under inflation. My $18 billion spending package will interdict a lot of the private spending that is fueling inflation. Rep. Porter will be pleased to note that the package includes free distribution of birth control pills and devices in every high school and middle school in the state—including, most importantly, the Catholic schools where the children are under the baleful influence of opponents of abortion.”