Fauci Invests in Humanized Mice

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

At a Pennsylvania House hearing this week, witnesses testified about experimental research involving scalping aborted babies and grafting those scalps onto mice. The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) funded this research with more than $400,000 in taxpayer dollars given to the University of Pittsburgh to conduct the experiment.

Dr. Anthony Fauci, head of NIAID, defended the expenditure, maintaining that “millions of lives are ruined by premature baldness. The social stigma of being hairless at a young age can devastate the delicate psyches of the men affected. Some even become suicidal. Research to see if viable human scalps could be nurtured by host rodents could help mitigate this malady.”

Fauci brushed off objections to this use of tax funds, saying that “every little bit we can do to help folks get through life is a legitimate use of public money. The aborted individuals obviously have no further need for their scalps. Why let them go to waste in the incinerator when they might save another person’s life down the road? Why use mice? Well, there could be negative outcomes that we wouldn’t want to inflict on volunteer human hosts. Mice are an expendable life form that has a long tradition of participating in medical experiments.”

DeSantis’ Remarks Called Racist

Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-Fla) issued a warning to leaders of Black Lives Matter and Antifa that “rioting will not be tolerated in our state. You may get away with this kind of destructive action in Portland, but not here.” The Governor added that “truly peaceful protests are protected by the First Amendment, but the minute you harm somebody else, or you harm somebody’s property, the way we’re going to stop it is to have very swift penalties for it.”

Vice-President Kamala Harris, called DeSantis’ stance “inherently racist. His notion that a peaceful demonstration is the only legitimate way to protest is ‘white thinking.’ After 400 years of oppression by white folks, people of color have earned the right to lash out at any and all members of the race that has oppressed them. This includes looting and burning of their property. Whites who attempt to violate this right do so at their own risk.”

Harris said “coming on the heels of the Jim Crow voting law that he just signed, it appears that DeSantis is trying to goad civil rights champions like Black Lives Matter and Antifa into confrontation with Florida police. Let me issue a warning to him. Any use of force to impede the actions of these groups will trigger the dispatch of federal troops to ensure the safety of the protesters. The choice the Governor has to face is whether he will respect a woke mode of protest and the modicum of damage done or whether he prefers to be displaced by marshal law. Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler has already faced this type of situation and has chosen wisely. He’s still Mayor and is not under arrest.”

Poor Jobs Report Sparks Debate

The Labor Department’s April employment report showed unemployment ticking up. This contradicted expert expectations that the Biden stimulus spending would generate a million more jobs. Only 266,000 jobs were created during the month.

President Biden blamed former President Trump, saying that “the attack on the Capitol that he ordered his followers to carry out has made a lot of people too scared to take a job. They fear that a right-wing mob may swarm their place of employment and expose them to the same dangers that faced members of Congress on January 6th.”

Chamber of Commerce executive vice president and chief policy officer Neil Bradley disagreed, calling the President’s logic “unpersuasive. A more tangible factor is the fact that the government’s unemployment compensation package exceeds the wages available for many jobs. Given the choice of having to endure a pay cut if they take a job, many are opting to remain unemployed.”

Biden dismissed the Chamber’s view as “malarkey. My Dad always told me, ‘Joey, it’s not just about the paycheck. It’s also about the dignity of having a useful place in the community.’ No self-respecting adult would give up that place just to live off the federal teat.”

Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn), backer of a $2,000 per month federal payment to every person, labeled Biden’s perspective “discredited ‘white thinking.’ Work is for suckers. The government has the power to create as much money as is needed to let everyone enjoy a decent standard of living without having to submit to wage-slavery to get it. What we need is for policymakers to have the courage to boost America up into a totally different way of living.” Fifty-seven fellow Congresspersons have co-sponsored Omar’s bill to award these monthly payments.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) rejected the idea that increased unemployment is a bad thing. “As I have been saying for years, unemployment compensation is a greater stimulator of the economy than anything else,” she asserted. “We shouldn’t bemoan an uptick in unemployment. The more people who are unemployed, the faster our economy will grow. What we need to do right now is pass more spending bills. If we can break the link between work and income we will finally achieve liberty from wage-slavery.”

Press Secretary Jen Psaki hastened to clarify the President’s statement, saying “he was just reminiscing about stuff his Dad told him seventy years ago. In no way did he mean to imply that people living on welfare are not self-respecting just because they have adapted to a lifestyle pioneered in America by President Johnson’s War on Poverty. This money isn’t just handed out randomly. Recipients have to do some things to qualify. One of the most important of these things is giving birth to the next generation of Democrat voters. Those who pay the taxes should be grateful that the price for keeping the fascist Republicans from destroying our democracy is so low.”

AOC Wants Civilian Climate Change Corps

Inspired by FDR’s Civilian Conservation Corps, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (D-NY) wants to establish a Civilian Climate Change Corps (CCCC).

“This Corps will achieve two major objectives,” she said. “First, it will battle the scourge of carbon dioxide that is the chief culprit in global warming. Second, it will provide jobs for healthy young people and help extricate our economy from the depression inflicted on it by Trump.”

“The main method the Corps will employ is to practice slow breathing,” the Congresswoman explained. “Normally, young people are very active. In this active state heavy breathing takes place. This means increased volumes of carbon dioxide are exhaled. This aggravates the greenhouse effect. By organizing these youths to spend full workdays consisting of repose the amount of CO2 emitted will be substantially reduced.”

Co-sponsor of the proposed legislation Sen. Edward Markey (D-Mass) said “ideally, a starting cadre would be trained in carbon dioxide reduction techniques such as sofa surfing, lolling around, and catnaps extending to 20 hours a day. Once trained they would go back among their peers as apostles of these techniques as multilevel marketing envoys acquiring converts who would expand the operation at an exponential rate. The only thing I can think of that might have a greater impact would be mass suicide.”

President Biden is said to be onboard with the CCCC idea. Deputy press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre claimed that “the President was modeling the slow breathing technique all throughout the 2020 campaign. Instead of wasting his breath crisscrossing the country holding rallies like Trump did, he was spending most of each day napping and chilling at home. He believes that if more people could do this more of the time we could substantially slow the emission of CO2 and perhaps prevent climate change from destroying the planet. And for God’s sake, wear a mask. Inhaling your own CO2 saves someone else from having to inhale it.”

Spying on Americans to Be Privatized

Technically, it is illegal for the government to spy on American citizens without a court supervised “probable cause” being established first. This has the Biden Administration considering “partnering” with private corporations to get the job done.

Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas pointed out that “the First Amendment prohibits the government from abridging freedom of speech. As we have seen though, privately owned corporations are free to abridge anyone’s freedom of speech for any reason or no reason. We see Facebook and Twitter silencing people on a regular basis for expressing opinions they don’t like.”

“So, we got to thinking that privately owned corporations might also be exempt from the Fourth Amendment’s ban on unreasonable searches,” Mayorkas said. “What if we were to contract with these private corporations to do the searching that the federal government is prohibited from doing? Businesses like Facebook and Twitter have access to the content of every message sent, received, or posted on their systems. They could do the dirty work for us. The information they could provide would greatly increase the number of disloyal citizens we could apprehend and convict. With the safety and security of the nation at stake how can we not make use of this loophole in the law?”

Satirical Look at Recent News

John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire for The Arizona Conservative for 16 years. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties our Founding Fathers tried to protect.” His work has been cited on the Rush Limbaugh program. Please do us a favor. If you use material created by Mr. Semmens, give us credit and DO NOT change the context. Thank you.

Bill Whittle Explains Why Leftists Are So Unhappy

HALF-MAD: Pew Study Shows 56.3% of Young White Liberal Women Diagnosed with Mental Illness

A Pew Research Center study shows that 56.3% of young white liberal women have been diagnosed with a mental illness — about twice the rate of their conservative counterparts.

Referenced Resources:

Over 50 Percent of White Liberal White Women Under 30 Have a Mental Health Issue. Are We Worried Yet? [Elizabeth Condra, Evie Magazine, April 13, 2021]

Number One with a Bullet, [Bill Whittle,  Firewall, January 23, 20215]

Transcript of Bill’s ‘Half-Mad’ video.

Meanwhile, most conservatives live in the kind of safe, kind, bountiful and fair Utopia that Progressives say they want. Can we help our liberal neighbors see that their dreams have already come true?

Video below hosted at Rumble.https://rumble.com/embed/vd2qfl/?pub=6f1ej

Biden ‘May or May Not’ Force Shots

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

President Biden announced that he “may or may not” force everyone to get vaccinated for COVID. Calling it “one of the tough decisions a great president has to make,” Biden says he is “weighing the individual’s natural right to control his or her own body with my responsibility as president to ensure that everyone is safe from harm.”

The first population cohort likely to be required to get vaccinated is the military. Biden explained that “members of the armed services are already required to take mandatory inoculations. It’s part of what it means to ‘serve.’ If we can achieve a 100% vaccination rate for our troops I hope that will inspire the rest of the population to voluntarily take the jabs. If it doesn’t, sterner measures may be required.”

The President says he doesn’t think a door-to-door forcible injection protocol will be necessary. “The vaccine passports that are being required by other countries and many businesses in this country should be sufficient to prod nearly everyone to accept vaccination as the price of freedom,” he speculated. “Being barred at the doors of your favorite bar, restaurant, stadium, or grocery store for not having proof of being vaccinated should bring all but the most incorrigibly disobedient into compliance.”

“We will give people the opportunity to voluntarily do the patriotic thing before we crackdown on the non-compliant,” the President promised. “This is the way a free and unified society works.” He went on to predict that “we will succeed where the Trump Administration’s policy of leaving each person to decide for himself would have surely failed.”

Meanwhile, the State of Washington is implementing a trial run of “special treatment” for those who’ve been vaccinated. Governor Jay Inslee (D) explained that “a few months ago everyone was clamoring for the vaccine and we didn’t have enough. Now, we’ve got plenty, but demand is far short of what was expected. As an incentive we are categorizing people into two classes. Those who’ve been vaccinated will have more privileges and freedoms than those who aren’t. Our hope is that the denial of these privileges and freedoms will prod the reluctant into the obedience that will set them free.”

Racist Farm Policy Sparks Lawsuit

The Biden Administration’s American Rescue Plan Act of 2021 provides loan forgiveness of up to 120% (i.e., a borrower can get 20% more than they received from the federal government during the pandemic) to farmers who are Black, American Indian or Alaskan native, Hispanic or Latino, and Asian American or Pacific Islander. Whites aren’t eligible for this program.

Plaintiffs from Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota and Ohio contend that using race to determine who receives the benefits of a program aimed at aiding farmers hurt by the economic shutdowns imposed in the effort to combat COVID is “unconstitutional.” President and General Counsel of the Wisconsin Institute for Law & Liberty, Rick Esenberg, said, The plaintiffs meet all of the criteria laid out in the program except the discriminatory racial exclusion.”

U.S. Secretary of Agriculture Thomas Vilsack justified the unequal treatment, calling it “a down payment on atoning for 400 years of white supremacy. Granted, the particular farmers involved in this lawsuit may not have played a significant role in the 400 years of abuse of non-white minorities, but they are the descendants of the white race that inflicted the multi-generational harm. The notion that each individual is independently entitled to fair treatment was rejected by the voters who chose to oust Trump and usher in a new socially conscious approach to justice. We are confident that the courts, including the Supreme Court, if the case gets that far, will concur in our enforcement of a new way of thinking.”

Another Dawn Raid by the FBI

This week a contingent of armed FBI agents raided the home of former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R) to confiscate an array of electronic devices. Giuliani called the raid “unnecessary. I would’ve voluntarily turned over all the devices requested. Oddly, the one device they refused to confiscate was a copy of the hard drive of Hunter Biden’s laptop. I pointed out that my perusal of the contents found evidence of several crimes.”

FBI Director Christopher Wray brushed aside Giuliani’s objections, saying that “a narrative in which he can be portrayed as cooperating with our investigation was unsatisfactory. As we have done in the past with the cases of Roger Stone and Paul Manafort, the dawn raid videoed by cooperating media conveys a narrative supporting the meme that these people are so guilty and dangerous that we couldn’t risk them destroying evidence or fleeing justice. Judging from the media coverage, I’d call it ‘mission accomplished.’”

Wray also rejected Giuliani’s contention that the Hunter Biden hard drive was of any public value. “Look, as the oldest surviving son of a sitting president, Hunter has sort of a ‘crown prince’ status,” Wray argued. “It would not serve the interest of the government to allow a scandal to besmirch him or any member of the President’s family. Rulers must be revered and respected. Any accusations—true or false—tend to undermine this vital objective. By refusing to be drawn into Giuliani’s gambit we have diminished the credibility of his charges and preserved the reputation of the ruling family.”

“As for the assertion that the devices we seized will prove Giuliani’s innocence, well, we will be the judges of that,” Wray added. “Even if there’s never a trial, the impression that Giuliani is guilty of something is already out there. The FBI is America’s number one law enforcement agency. We are the ones who got Dillinger. We are the heroes of many movies and several TV series. Given the choice of who to believe, we’re confident that the average person will trust us more than they trust Giuliani.”

Canada Makes Participation in Assisted Suicide Mandatory

The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that a hospice that declined to participate in administering assisted suicide cannot stay in business. The Delta Hospice Society, located in British Columbia has resisted demands that it must kill its residents if that’s what they want done.

The Court explicitly rejected the argument that the refusal to participate in terminating a person’s life was an allowable option. “Even though there are other fully participating hospitals and hospices that a patient or resident could freely choose, the Government’s policy is that assisted suicide is for the collective benefit of all,” the Court said. “The contention that ‘no kill shelters’ ought to be available to those who prefer it would elevate individual preferences above society’s preferences. Canada is not obligated to subjugate democratically decided policies to individual conscience. To do so would impose the religious beliefs of a minority on the rest of society.”

“The remedy that those opposed to the euthanasia that current law decrees must be carried out is to win a majority in the next election and change the current law,” the Court suggested. “Under our democracy, majority rule is the only legitimate means for deciding what is morally right or wrong. Any other metric is arbitrary and oppressive.”

Bill to Bar Criminal Background Checks

Rep. David Trone (D-Md) and Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif) have introduced legislation that would bar employers from inquiring into the criminal history of job applicants. Specifically prohibited is asking a job applicant if he has a criminal record before offering the person a job.

Waters explained that “criminals have just as much right to a job as anyone else. Yet, if potential employers are allowed to poke around for evidence of crimes that may have been committed by applicants they are apt not to hire them. This is part of the systemic racism we are trying to eliminate in this country.”

Trone hastened to point out that “our bill would not prohibit a company from taking action against an employee who steals from the company, rapes a co-worker, or murders a customer. All we are asking is that any prior thefts, rapes, or murders not be allowed as grounds for not offering a person a job. The best way to nip this tendency in the bud is to prevent the issue from being raised prior to the hiring decision.”

Biden: “White Supremacists Greatest Terrorist Threat”

In his first address to a joint session of Congress, President Joe Biden declared that “white supremacists have replaced jihadists as the most lethal terrorist threat to the United States. As we saw on January 6, white supremacists launched the gravest attack on this country since the Civil War. I am asking Congress to join with me in spending $6 trillion to strengthen the country’s economy as our first line of defense against these terrorists.”

Many observers wondered how a disorganized unarmed group that milled about the Capitol for a few hours on January 6th, committed a few acts of vandalism, and killed no one could have constituted a greater threat than some other events—like War II that killed hundreds of thousands of American soldiers and the 9/11 jihad attack that killed nearly 3,000 American civilians—since the Civil War.

Press Secretary Jen Psaki explained that “on January 6th Americans tried to overthrow our government. Regardless of how unprepared they were, these invaders were nearly 100% white. They were also within striking distance of the most important people in this country. If it weren’t for the timely spontaneous hiding and fleeing of great leaders like House Speaker Pelosi and Rep. Ocasio Cortez they might have been ruthlessly mocked. Such a humiliation could have undermined their willingness to continue ruling this country and left the American people leaderless. So, I believe that all correct-thinking people would agree with the President’s assessment of the severity of the January 6th event.”

In related news, the Biden Administration is reported to be assiduously scanning social media to compile a list of Trump supporters for the purpose of putting these people on a “no fly” list. National Security Adviser Jake Sullivan explained that “neutralizing the mobility options for anti-democratic terrorists is a common sense move. It will slow their ability to effectively mass forces and move them to strategic strike zones.”

NJ: “No Mask, No Vote”

New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy (D) has decreed that voters must wear a mask to the polls or they won’t be allowed to vote. “I think that if you refuse to wear a mask, we’re not letting you in, it’s that simple,” he said. “I know that voting is the most sacred right in a democracy, but health and safety must come first. I mean, what use is a right to vote if you are exposed to infection from those who insist on shunning the mask President Biden says is our patriotic duty?”

Murphy denied that his decree was an attempt to suppress voter turnout, saying everyone knows that voter suppression is the Republicans’ game plan. They insist that every voter must show an ID to be given a ballot. They do this because it is nearly impossible for minorities to get IDs in our systemically racist society. My mask edict is totally different. In fact, many minorities are used to wearing masks when plying their trade. So, if anything it should boost minority participation. And as a bonus, the mask requirement will nullify any fear of being identified while casting a ballot. This will thwart Republican efforts to force people to verify that they are actually legitimately registered voters.”

Biden Insists Bishops Are Wrong About Abortion

President Biden says the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops is wrong about condemning the use of aborted babies for research. The statement from the bishops noted it is possible to do research without using harvested tissue from aborted babies and added that “It is also deeply offensive to millions of Americans for our tax dollars to be used for research that collaborates with an industry built on the taking of innocent lives.”

“From the very beginning, Christianity was founded on the sacrifice of the innocent for the benefit of humanity,” Biden contended. “Jesus, the perfectly blameless innocent, was nailed to a cross to atone for mankind’s sins. By this sacrifice the possibility of salvation was opened for all who believed in him. This is what I was taught in Sunday school as a boy.”

“Today, the most innocent among us are the unborn children,” Biden observed. “They are perfectly sinless. This makes them the ideal candidates to sacrifice their lives for the greater good. Opposing the use of the bodies of aborted babies prevents their deaths from helping others. I can’t believe that this is what Jesus would’ve wanted. So, while I respect the Church, I feel it is my duty as a Christian to take a stand against error and my duty as president to use my power to right the wrong they seek to impose on society.”

“I would further like to remind the bishops that their stance is the same as former President Trump’s,” Biden added. “Trump isn’t even a Catholic. Neither is he a good person. He conspired with the Russians to deny Hillary Clinton’s right to the presidency in 2016. He attempted to steal the 2020 election. When that failed he instigated an insurrection at the Capitol in January. I urge the bishops to reconsider their position. If they admit their mistakes and join those of us trying to transform America into a united progressive community I’m confident the people will forgive them.”

Satirical Look at Recent News

John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire for The Arizona Conservative for 16 years. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties our Founding Fathers tried to protect.” His work has been cited on the Rush Limbaugh program. Please do us a favor. If you use material created by Mr. Semmens, give us credit and DO NOT change the context. Thank you.

Vail School Board Won’t Hear Parents Concerns About Masks

Concerned parents in Vail got the issue of masks on the local school board agenda, but last night board members fled the scene of their meeting instead of hearing out moms and dads. School board members also claimed the parents were “unruly.”

Parents appearing today on Steve Bannon’s War Room television show denied they were unreally. Video backed them up, as they peacefully waited for their opportunity to speak to board members.

Gov. Doug Ducey had removed requirements for school children to wear masks, but the Vail school board refused to even discuss its insistence on face restraints — after agreeing to do so.

Carrie Liebich, author of Victorious Mother: Natural Remedies To Help Your Child Win The Mental Health Battle, told Bannon that prolonged mask requirements are wreaking physiological and psychological havoc on children.

The board members are: President Jon Aitken, Claudia Anderson, Callie Tippett, Allison Pratt and Chris King.

‘We’re Not Taking it Anymore!’: AZ Parents Band Together Against Kid Mask Mandate, Ed Board Runs

April 29, 2021 by Elizabeth

Parents in Vail, Arizona have had enough of the mask tyranny against their kids in school.

Carrie Liebich, a mom and author, joined War Room Thursday to explain how parents simply standing together forced the Board of Education to flee. Liebich said the parents will not stop until they recall board members and end the mask mandate having harmful affects on their kids.

“The parents aren’t backing down, enough is enough,” she said. “We’ve had a 300 percent increase in suicide…and no one child has died from the coronavirus under 20, not one.”Celebrities Who Are Awful Humans in Real Life

The school board called the cops on hundreds of parents there to protest the kid mask mandate. The governor of Arizona cancelled the mask mandate, though the far-left school board president continues to force kids to wear them, even though they are more harmful to their health than covid.

“We stood our ground, very peacefully,” she said. “We were kind and respectful, but we stood there knowing our rights and that we have a right to be heard.”

“And they fled,” Liebich said.

Liebich said the movement began with just two parents. But soon they were overwhelmed with likeminded people of Vail demanding common sense. Libich encourages parents everywhere to do the same.

“Take a stand,” she said. “Find another parent that agrees with you because they’re out there. This started off with just two parents. We had hundreds of parents show.

“We’re fed up,” Liebich said. “They’re out there, you just need to stand.” 

Liebich said the next move is gathering enough signatures to recall and remove at least two board members who are anti-parent choice.

“There is no logic, it’s power and control and they want control over our children,” she said. “And they’ve made it very clear that parents don’t have rights.”

“Our children are dying from your mitigation plan,” she said. “We’re not taking it anymore.”

Stephen K. Bannon said this could be the shot heard round the world.

Live Cameras For Maricopa County Ballot Audit

www.azaudit.org

Additional News

The Trumped Store in Show Low will have live music with Wes and Wanda, and Sonny’s BBQ starting May 1 and running thru this fall. Coffee and hot dogs available. Hosts Steve and Karen Slaton will have Patriot party folks, along with upcoming State legislators and Senators. May 15 will be the walk for police hosted by LD6 Sen Wendy Rogers. Contact: slatonsteven58@gmail.com

The Republican Party Network, a new organization designed to bring together Republicans and Republican Clubs nationwide, will have its national kick-off at 6 pm., Tues on ZOOM. Contact: Dr.Yale S.Wishnick at (520) 820-7855 or contact@republicanpartynetwork.com

Gov Doug Ducey’s Border Action: “We are getting whiplash out here from all the mixed signals [the White House is] sending,” Ducey said during a press conference in Yuma. “There is one person who can fix this: the president of the United States.”: See:

APRIL 27: Constitution Tuesday
7 pm., Tues., April 27 at the West Valley Republican Office, 10050 W Bell Rd Sun City, (Ace Hardware Center on 99th Ave/Bell Road behind Arby’s. Speakers are retired Sheriff Richard Mack, President of CSPOA, and possibly Rick Dalton, Vice President of CSPOA. Topics – the border crises, border security and states’ rights. This is on everyone’s’ mind and our state is not acting. Putting the AZ National Guard on the border once again as a clerical back up is not protecting the border.

NLRB Tosses Anti-Union Votes

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

The Biden Administration’s acting general counsel for the National Labor Relations Board P

eter Sung Ohr ordered the votes of 800 poultry workers who didn’t want to be members or have the United Food and Commercial Workers union (UFCW) represent them to be trashed. He justified this ruling by saying “a prior agreement between the UFCW and the owners of the Delaware processing plant overrides the wishes of the affected employees.”

Oscar Cruz Sosa, the employee who championed the vote to decertify the UFCW as the workers’ representative complained that “this Union doesn’t represent the workers. It exploits and abuses them. The NLRB’s ruling means we will be forced to continuing to pay our abusers for another three years.”

Similar agreements between business owners and union leaders have been ruled invalid by courts in recent years. Ohr pointed out that “these rulings occurred before the November 2020 election. The President has determined that voters opted for a different policy when they cast their ballots for him. I am just carrying out the mandate he was given by the people.”

A possible alternate rationale for the new policy might be that the UFCW donated $1.2 million to Democrats during the 2020 election cycle. Ohr acknowledged this, but denied it played any role in the NLRB’s shift on the issue. “Democrats believe that individual workers are not qualified to deal with the complex issue of union representation,” Ohr said. “They can be mislead by propaganda that is not in their best interest. Rather than fight against what the union is trying to accomplish, workers should appreciate what unions do for them and pay the cost of supporting those services.”

FTC to Fine Man for “Wrong” Advice

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) may fine Eric Nepute as much as $500,000 for advocating the use of vitamin D and zinc to help the body’s immune system resist COVID infection. While science has validated the positive anti-viral effects of these two natural substances, the FTC labeled Nepute’s statements “false.”

FTC acting Chairwoman Rebecca Slaughter asserted that “since the Centers for Disease Control and prevention (CDC) has a different narrative on the COVID pandemic Mr. Nepute’s contradiction of that narrative undermines people’s faith in the government’s preferred strategy for combating this disease. This contradiction could confuse people and result in them making the wrong decisions about what they should do to protect their health.”

“Mr. Nepute wasn’t authorized to make his opinions public,” Slaughter said. “It is everyone’s duty as a good citizen to fllow the guidance of the government experts who have been designated to handle the strategy for fighting this disease. To allow nonconforming ideas to gain a foothold would imperil the unity that the Biden Administration is trying to achieve, which at this point is to have everyone vaccinated.”

“We are not totally merciless,” Slaughter insisted. “If Nepute admits his error and promises to keep his unacceptable opinions to himself in the future, we may not seek the full amont of the penalties that could be assessed against him.”

In related news, President Biden told Americans that “it is your patriotic duty to get vaccinated. Don’t be among the shameful doubters that shun the shot. Get it to show your respect for authority and concern for the health of your neighbor.”

BLM Activists “Storm” Oklahoma Capitol

Angry over anti-rioting legislation under debate in the Oklahoma House of Representatives, a couple of dozen Black Lives Matter activists noisily invaded the capitol building. The legislation under discussion seeks to increase the penalties for intentionally blocking street traffic and to protect drivers who unintentionally hit persons blocking traffic, A separate bill would establish penalties for “doxxing,” i.e. publishing the names and addresses of police officers.

While she was famously public and strident in her condemnation of the January 6 “storming” of the US Capitol, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) refused to criticize the Oklahoma incident. “Look, there are several important differences between the two situations,” she maintained. “First, Oklahoma is just one state. Whatever happens there cannot compare with what happens here in Washington. Second, the grievances of the BLM protestors were more meritorious than the false allegations of election theft that motivated the invasion of the Capitol by Trump supporters. Third, the targets of the BLM protestors were Republicans who, as we all know, are doing their best to undermine our democracy. They deserve to be frightened that they will be held accountable for their crimes against the people.”

Republican State Rep. Kevin West called the incursion “disruptive. The police had to clear the gallery of the noisy mob, but no one was shot. So, in that respect I can see a difference between my perspective and that of Speaker Pelosi. We weren’t cowering in fear. We aren’t slandering the disrupters by calling them ‘traitors.’ We’re not demanding that anybody be imprisoned for disagreeing with the legislation we passed. On balance, I’d say the way we handled the situation in Oklahoma might be a model for DC to emulate rather than the other way around.”

In related news, perhaps in response to Minneapolis City Council candidate Margarita Ortegain’s suggestion that protestors ought to target white neighborhoods, a man was blocked from driving his car to his house by BLM protestors. When he pleaded that he was only trying to go home he was mocked, as one protestor told him that “home ownership is a bourgeois fallacy. All property ultimately belongs to the collective. The dictatorship of the proletariat will decide who lives where and when they will or won’t be blocked from accessing their assigned accommodations.”

Kerry Pushing Climate Alarmism

Special Presidential Envoy for Climate John Kerry expressed disappointment with the widespread lack of appreciation for his efforts.

“I have been tirelessly jetting all over the globe to try to impress upon people the need to reduce carbon emissions,” he said. “People are polite, but not panicky. It’s frustrating as Hell. Leaders everywhere are short-sightedly focused on what they call bigger problems.”

“What are these ‘bigger problems?” Kerry asked. “Well, in place after place they say they are more concerned about poverty and starvation. They say they need to modernize to fight these problems. Modernization requires more fossil fuels to produce more goods and to move them to areas of need. They want power plants to produce electricity to make everyone’s lives easier and healthier. They don’t realize how selfish they are being.”

“I know it is politically important for them to focus on the well-being of their current population, but from a broader perspective, their current population is the source of the climate crisis. If the population were smaller the stress on the climate would also be smaller. If we make life healthier and easier the population is likely to grow and that would be bad for the environment.”

“It may not be popular for me to say this, but letting backward countries govern themselves may not be sustainable,” Kerry observed. “I think we need a centralized global leadership comprised of the best experts to save the planet. The best model we have of how to do this is provided by China where elites are free to devise and impose the absolute best policies free of interference from the less informed masses of ignorant common people. I believe that President Biden may be coming to the same conclusion and I hope he will issue the executive orders needed to make it happen.”

Psaki Blames Columbus Shooting on “Racial Bias”

Biden’s Presidential Press Secretary Jen Psaki called the police shooting of a knife-wielding black teenage girl “yet another example of systemic racism in this country.” The incident originated from a dispute about household tidiness that escalated into a situation where one black teen was attempting to stab another black teen in the driveway of a home.

“The problem with the police is that they use violence to intervene in violent circumstances without giving a thought to the cultural norms of the persons involved,” Psaki said. “It is a cultural and historic fact that household violence is much more common among blacks than whites. In this instance, a police officer brought a gun to a knife fight and unfairly influenced the outcome. By shooting the girl with the knife before she pierced the body of her intended victim he prevented a potentially less deadly outcome. The girl doing the stabbing was not a professionally trained knife-fighter. She might well have missed a vital organ. She may have only meant to frighten or wound rather than kill.”

“Whites who don’t share the same life experiences of blacks are not qualified to correctly judge and resolve confrontations,” Psaki contended. “The President is very disturbed by this incident and is considering reforms to prevent similar shootings in the future.”

“Among the ideas under consideration are for police to explicitly request permission to shoot before they fire their weapons,” Psaki said. “Another is to get a racial profile of the participants for all 911 calls so dispatchers can determine whether black or white officers should be dispatched to the scene. A third option would be to ensure that multi-racial teams of cops be dispatched. That way if the person needing to be shot is black, the black officer could do it and if the person needing to be shot is white, the white officer could do it. Any of these ideas could help to diminish the frequency of racially biased shootings.”

Satirical Look at Recent News

John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire for The Arizona Conservative for 16 years. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties our Founding Fathers tried to protect.” His work has been cited on the Rush Limbaugh program. Please do us a favor. If you use material created by Mr. Semmens, give us credit and DO NOT change the context. Thank you.

Center For Arizona Policy Says Governor’s Veto Disregards Parents’ Rights

A Statement from Center for Arizona Policy President, Cathi Herrod, Esq.

Governor Ducey today sent a clear and deeply disappointing message to parents: The government knows better.

After 31 House Republican and 16 Senate Republican, pro-family lawmakers stood in the face of opposition for the rights of parents to guide the education and upbringing of their own children, Governor Ducey vetoed SB 1456.

SB 1456, sponsored by Senator Nancy Barto, would have ensured parents are given ample access, and time, to review sex education curriculum before deciding whether to opt-in their child. It also would have prohibited sex education through the fourth grade.

It did not prohibit or dictate any curriculum in grades 5-12; it merely would have ensured parents opt their children into instruction on human sexuality.

Parents have the fundamental right and responsibility to raise their children. Exactly what they are taught regarding human sexuality, and when, is up to parents, not the government.

In his veto letter, Governor Ducey expressed concern about child abuse prevention education. Abuse prevention is not sex education and would not have been blocked by any provision in SB 1456. Unfortunately, to my knowledge, this concern was not brought to the attention of lawmakers by the executive branch prior to the veto.

Our team will review Governor Ducey’s veto letter and his Executive Order on parents’ rights. An executive order is not the same as a duly enacted law. Further, at a minimum, the Executive Order fails to implement the prohibition of sex education prior to fifth grade.

Make no mistake, the need to advocate for the parents’ ability to guide the education of their children, especially with regard to matters of human sexuality, will continue to be a key priority for us, and the many Arizonans who supported SB 1456.Get Involved