Only 29 Percent Think 2020 Elections Will Be Fair

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News According to a poll conducted by the Public Affairs Council, only 29 percent of voters think the November elections will be conducted fairly. Public Affairs Council President Doug Pinkham said “we’ve never seen an American election with so much doubt about whether the … More Only 29 Percent Think 2020 Elections Will Be Fair

Harris Wants Durham Investigation Put off

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News Democratic vice-presidential candidate Sen. Kamala Harris (Calif) thinks “it is improper for persons actively engaged in running for office to be investigated while the voting is underway. In fact, I believe there is something in the Constitution that prohibits any incumbent office holder, … More Harris Wants Durham Investigation Put off

Prof: ‘It’s a Biden Landslide or Four More Years of Street Violence’

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News Georgetown University law professor Rosa Brooks summarized the scenarios generated by her politics model as “a choice between tranquility or chaos. Of every potential election outcome we tested only the one where former Vice-President Joe Biden wins in a landslide predicts a peaceful … More Prof: ‘It’s a Biden Landslide or Four More Years of Street Violence’

Rice Criticizes Pompeo’s Religion

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News Former Obama-era national security adviser Susan Rice questioned the constitutional propriety of having Mike Pompeo as Secretary of State. “I think his public profession of his Christian faith is problematic,” she said. “Further, his objections to what he calls the unwarranted persecution of … More Rice Criticizes Pompeo’s Religion

Biden Says Days as a Lifeguard ‘Prepped Me to Save America’

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News In a bid to persuade voters that he is the man that will save America from the evil Donald Trump, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden recalled his days as a lifeguard, saying that “I saved 77 people and one set of dentures from … More Biden Says Days as a Lifeguard ‘Prepped Me to Save America’

Chicago Using Social Media to Spy on Tourists

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News Desperate to replace the tax revenues lost due to the City’s oppressive response to the COVID pandemic, Chicago Department of Public Health Commissioner Dr. Allison Arwady has authorized a widespread surveillance of social media posts. “There are 22 states whose residents must report … More Chicago Using Social Media to Spy on Tourists

Portland Government Demands Feds Stop Impeding Rioters

By John Semmens — Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News Portland city officials are demanding that the federal law enforcement personnel protecting the federal courthouse remove the barricades they installed around the building. Mayor Ted Wheeler (D) pointed out that “we have not issued a permit allowing these structures for several good reasons. … More Portland Government Demands Feds Stop Impeding Rioters