Presidential Nonsense

By: John Semmens

In a speech to the graduating class of the US Naval Academy, President Biden revealed that in 1965 Sen. Senator J. Caleb Boggs (R-Del) signed a letter recommending him for admission to the Naval Academy. Biden said he decided not to go to the Academy because his desire to play starting quarterback on the football team was blocked by Roger Staubach—the greatest player to ever play for Navy and later MVP for the Superbowl winning Dallas Cowboys. Biden played football in high school, but graduated from the University of Delaware in 1965 with no varsity football experience.

In a speech to the Coast Guard during a change of command ceremony, the President warned that “global warming will soon shift the American coastline hundreds of miles inland from where it is now. Scranton—my hometown—will become the major eastern seaport of the country. Washington, DC will be completely submerged. It’s no joke.”

CBS News White House correspondent Ed O’Keefe asked Biden’s new Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre if she could clarify what the President was trying to say, but she rebuffed his request, saying “I don’t pay no attention to what that crazy white dude says. None of it makes any sense. I would advise you to do likewise.”

Biden Not Getting the Credit He Deserves

By: John Semmens

Plunging poll numbers have President Biden in a snit. He’s particularly irked that his intended “ultra MAGA” smear tactic has backfired as Trump proudly appropriated the phrase for his own use saying “after a year-and-a-half of ultra Biden incompetence and disaster the American people are eager for a return of the policies that had this country on track for record-breaking prosperity.”

“The runaway prosperity that Trump inflicted on the American people was wrecking the environment,” Biden complained. “I don’t understand why I’m not getting more credit for reversing course. It’s as if voters prefer selfish personal gains over ecological virtue. I can’t believe this is true. All my advisers assure me that what this country needs is a return to the simpler life humanity enjoyed before capitalism ruined it.”

Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC), a man many now credit for elevating the demented Biden to the presidency by endorsing him in the 2020 Democratic primary as “the only one who could unite the country,” seconded the President’s anger over his declining support in the polls. “I blame white supremacist terrorists and their media minions for turning the middle class against the best friend they’ve ever had in the White House.

Treasury Secretary Confesses: “I Don’t Understand Inflation”

By: John Semmens

During an interview aired on CNN’s “Situation Room,” Biden Administration Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen admitted “I don’t understand inflation. Everyone in the Administration is dead set against inflation. It’s not like there are disagreements regarding its negative effects. Yet, despite this unanimity among those of us making economic policy inflation is wrecking the lives of ordinary Americans.”

Yellen’s admission was stunning considering she has a PhD in economics from Harvard University, spent nearly twenty years at the Federal Reserve—serving as its Chairperson for five years—helping manage the nation’s money supply, and was on President Clinton’s Council of Economic Advisers.

“I mean, how can gasoline prices be rising when the President has decreed the nation must transition to green energy?” the Secretary wondered. “If the government is in the process of making fossil fuels illegal and obsolete why aren’t gasoline prices collapsing like the prices of other obsolete energy sources like whale oil collapsed? The only credible explanation is price-gouging by the greedy manufacturers.”

“Clearly, we need to bring back the price controls that worked in the 1970s under Nixon, Ford, and Carter,” she asserted. “This policy was so successful it was dubbed ‘stagflation’ because it stagnated the inflation. The whole country was unified behind a comprehensive system that brought Republicans and Democrats together in a common goal to whip inflation. The long lines to purchase gas were a much more effective means of encouraging conservation because time is more valuable than money. It was reluctance to pay the high time cost of obtaining fuel that broke the back of inflation then and could do it again today, 50 years later.”

“Of course, the real wild card is the possibility of nuclear war between Russia and us over the Ukraine situation,” Yellen observed. “On the one hand, hundreds of millions of people would die and the entire industrial foundations of modern life would be destroyed. On the other hand, a return to a pre-civilized mode of living would force us to reevaluate our materialistic habits and live more naturally constantly on the brink of starvation. The ills of a sedentary life style—obesity, diabetes, heart disease—would fade away, as would the burdens of caring for the elderly. We might actually be better off in the long run if this did happen.”

Treasury Secretary Confesses: “I Don’t Understand Inflation”

During an interview aired on CNN’s “Situation Room,” Biden Administration Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen admitted “I don’t understand inflation. Everyone in the Administration is dead set against inflation. It’s not like there are disagreements regarding its negative effects. Yet, despite this unanimity among those of us making economic policy inflation is wrecking the lives of ordinary Americans.”

Yellen’s admission was stunning considering she has a PhD in economics from Harvard University, spent nearly twenty years at the Federal Reserve—serving as its Chairperson for five years—helping manage the nation’s money supply, and was on President Clinton’s Council of Economic Advisers.

“I mean, how can gasoline prices be rising when the President has decreed the nation must transition to green energy?” the Secretary wondered. “If the government is in the process of making fossil fuels illegal and obsolete why aren’t gasoline prices collapsing like the prices of other obsolete energy sources like whale oil collapsed? The only credible explanation is price-gouging by the greedy manufacturers.”

“Clearly, we need to bring back the price controls that worked in the 1970s under Nixon, Ford, and Carter,” she asserted. “This policy was so successful it was dubbed ‘stagflation’ because it stagnated the inflation. The whole country was unified behind a comprehensive system that brought Republicans and Democrats together in a common goal to whip inflation. The long lines to purchase gas were a much more effective means of encouraging conservation because time is more valuable than money. It was reluctance to pay the high time cost of obtaining fuel that broke the back of inflation then and could do it again today, 50 years later.”

“Of course, the real wild card is the possibility of nuclear war between Russia and us over the Ukraine situation,” Yellen observed. “On the one hand, hundreds of millions of people would die and the entire industrial foundations of modern life would be destroyed. On the other hand, a return to a pre-civilized mode of living would force us to reevaluate our materialistic habits and live more naturally constantly on the brink of starvation. The ills of a sedentary life style—obesity, diabetes, heart disease—would fade away, as would the burdens of caring for the elderly. We might actually be better off in the long run if this did happen.”

AZ Governor’s Race Tightens to 4%: Kari (27%) Karrin (23%) Undecided (31%)

Recent polling in the Arizona Gubernatorial race shows support for Kari Lake decreasing and support for Karrin Taylor Robson increasing.

Last month, Kari Lake’s team released polling saying that she had increased her lead over the other candidates by significant margins (see figure 1). Insiders were quick to point out that the polling firm used only online panels, which are considered less accurate than live caller polls, and that the firm, Cygnal, was relatively new and had ties to Lake allies.

Bad polling is a contributing factor to the almost 20% swing away from Kari but the ads highlighting Kari Lake’s donations and campaigning for President Obama, lying about an NRA Lifetime Membership and supporting giving illegal immigrants mass amnesty were a major factor as well.

The trend lines are clear though, Karrin Taylor Robson continues to make increases among those undecided voters where Kari Lake seems to be stalling. The primary is just under 2 months away with early ballots being sent out on July 6th and anything could happen but its becoming very clear that it’s a two person race.

Figure 1

Harsh Treatment of Jan 6 Detainees Justified

John Semmens

Despite the Constitution’s affirmation of a right to a speedy trial, persons suspected of crimes committed during the January 6, 2021 riot at the Capitol building continue to languish in jail. Part of this pre-trial and conviction punishment includes isolation from outside visitors. Living conditions are degraded by unsanitary conditions.

Brandon Fellows has been in the DC jail for almost a year. His alleged crime was smoking marijuana in the Capitol on Jan 6. A video of him in prison was smuggled out. In it he conducts a tour of his cell revealing frayed electric wires, mold, and an overflowing toilet. Neither he nor other Jan 6 inmates are allowed access to the cafeteria, gym, classrooms, outdoor areas, barber shop or religious services.

Attorney General Merrick Garland called the imprisonment of these individuals “warranted given the circumstances. The fact that Fellows may not be implicated in any insurrectionist activity doesn’t change the fact that he was in the building at the same time as others who may ultimately be charged with treason were. He could be a witness against them. The hardships he faces may help persuade him to testify against those who are guilty of insurrection. The complaint that the Jan 6 prisoners are being treated worse than the accused rapists and murderers in the jail is undeserved. None of these rapists and murderers pose as much danger to democracy as the Jan 6 traitors.”

Senator Criticizes Out-of-State Donations to Rival

By: John Semmens

Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) warned state voters to “not let lower-48 donors determine who is sent to Washington to represent us. These donors don’t know our state like I do. Don’t let their donations to my opponent allow her to unseat me.”

Murkowski’s characterization of the race doesn’t match up well with the data. According to public campaign finance documents, 85% of Murkowski’s funds come from out-of-state donors. Further, 89% of her $5 million campaign chest comes from large donors.

Her opponent Kelly Tshibaka’s campaign chest of $2.5 million has garnered 50% from out-of-state donors. Of the total $2.5 million, 30% is from small donors. She is also the candidate endorsed by the state’s Republican Party.

While the figures would appear to indicate that Murkowski is the favored choice of out-of-state donors, the Senator contends that “my opponent’s endorsement by Donald Trump is emblematic of her out-of-state orientation. That endorsement is worth more than the $5 million I’ve gotten from out-of-state donors. In contrast, I have been elected by the voters of Alaska three times over the past 20 years. I think this is pretty solid proof that I am the true choice of Alaskans when it comes to representing the people’s interests. I have also been endorsed by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken).”

Bill to Curb Emergency Powers Vetoed

By: John Semmens

Republican-sponsored legislation aiming to limit the authority of the governor’s use of an emergency declaration to bypass normal lawmaking was vetoed by Gov. Laura Kelly (D-Kan) who declared that “some issues are too critical to be decided by the normal processes of a democratic style of government. Health is one of those issues. Legislators lack the expertise to determine which health policies and protocols are best for the the people of this state.”

“If it had been up to the legislature we might never have implemented the lockdowns, vaccine mandate, and other measures that were needed to control covid,” Kelly contended. “The governor’s ability to declare an emergency and suspend representative government is essential for preserving the people’s health and safety. This way, top medical and health experts can benevolently dictate life-saving policies and practices without the delay that typically impedes action when legislative approval is required.”

“I will grant that many of the executive directives issued during the covid pandemic may not have been optimal, but we can’t let one unhappy experience blind us to the inherent efficiency of one-person rule during an extraordinary threat to the public,” Kelly added. “Fortunately, we didn’t have to resort to extreme measures. No general imprisonment of the population like they had in New Zealand was required. Neither did we have to cull the herd like they did in China. But these options should remain available to all future governors of our state.”

Dems Block School Safety Bills

By: John Semmens

This week’s massacre of 19 students and two teachers at the Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas reignited the debate between Republicans and Democrats on how best to prevent future mass murders. Democrats want to outlaw guns. Republicans want to harden the target zones and make it easier for private citizens to carry firearms.

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) blamed “Democrat opposition to two 2013 bills. One would have appropriated $300 million in federal grants to harden schools to make them safer, to make them more protected. The other directed the Department of Justice to prosecute and put in jail felons and fugitives who try to illegally buy firearms. Instead, Democrats insist on disarming law-abiding gun owners.”

Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) characterized “the Republican focus on countervailing force a flawed concept. As we saw in Uvalde, dozens of heavily armed police stood by for over an hour while a gunman methodically assassinated his victims. Belief in the so-called good guys with guns option is disproved by the repeated incompetence and cowardice of our police. Suffocating an unarmed and cuffed George Floyd is a risk they’re ready to take, but rescuing children from an armed assailant is too much to ask. The only sensible option is for all private ownership of guns to be prohibited.”

Cruz said “Schumer’s universal disarmament proposal is a dangerous fantasy. Criminals aren’t going to obey gun laws. The Uvalde shooter violated the school’s ‘no gun zone’ status under current law. Obviously, we can’t depend on law-enforcement personnel to be the only source of protection. Private citizens must not be stripped of their right to bear arms for self-defense. If enough citizens are armed criminals cannot count on easy targets. Some will be deterred. Others will be shot down once their hostile intentions are exhibited like the man in West Virginia firing an AR-15 rifle at a graduation party was shot down by a woman carrying a concealed pistol.”

“One isolated incident of a private citizen using deadly force to save lives is not a sound foundation for crafting a sane nationwide policy on guns,” Schumer contended. “What Sen. Cruz forgets is that a widely armed population poses a deadly threat to those of us who must govern this country. Outlawing private ownership of guns combined with personal bodyguards for important government officials is the optimal feasible approach to protect lives that are essential to a functioning democracy.”

In related news, Rep. Veronica Escobar (D-TX) used the Uvalde killings to argue for more gun regulation, asking “why can’t we strictly regulate who is allowed to own a gun? We already regulate cars, alcohol, and cigarettes. Why not guns?” Escobar was unfazed by data showing that these other more heavily regulated items are still responsible for more fatalities each year than guns are.

Police Delay at Uvalde School Massacre Defended

By: John Semmens

As more facts about the law-enforcement response at the Robb Elementary School massacre become available, confidence in relying on police to save lives is being eroded. It seems that the pattern in police responses to school shootings that is frequently exhibited is reluctance to risk getting shot.

A Texas Department of Public Safety spokesman argued that “harsh as it may seem to the parents of children being killed by gunmen invading their schools, a rational risk/reward assessment must take precedence over an emotional expectation from untrained civilians. Despite more than a dozen desperate 911 calls coming from students trapped inside with the shooter, we can’t abide senselessly exposing officers to deadly risk when life-saving ballistic shields are just minutes away. A decision to wait for these shields both protects our investment in the officers’ training and justifies the expenditures incurred. Sadly, in this instance the minutes turned into more than an hour. Counterbalancing this is the fact that no officers were injured by the gunman in the incident.”

“We should also keep in mind the fact that the officers on the scene were not entirely idle while waiting for the ballistic shields,” the spokesman pointed out. “They were able to tase, tackle, cuff, and detain several parents in the crowd who were so frantic due to our inaction that they desperately tried to rescue their children themselves. Later we learned that a few off-duty officers took it upon themselves to rescue their own children. They will likely face disciplinary action for obstructing a police operation.”

Biden Admin Disinformation Effort Derailed

By: John Semmens

The less than month-old Disinformation Governance Board established by President Biden has been “put on hold” due to backlash against the idea that the Board reminded too many people of the “Ministry of Truth” in George Orwell’s distopian novel 1984. Given the chance to continue on the payroll with no job responsibilities, Nina Jankowicz decided to resign, saying “there’s no point in me staying on if I’m not going to be allowed to censor anyone’s erroneous statements or beliefs.”

Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre called this turn of events “tragic. We were putting together the most extensive and comprehensive suppression of mistaken ideas in American history. Ms. Jankowicz was an ideal person to carry out this mission. The survival of our democracy depends on a vigorous extermination of unwarranted criticism of the government. We were supremely confident of the skills she would have brought to this crucial battle.”

Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas expressed hope that “we can renew this effort to clamp down on dissident elements in the not too distant future. Perhaps we can come up with a less frightening name for the Board. Maybe this would mute the ferocious opposition we have seen over the last few weeks. Sorting out truth from falsehood is something that must be done. Jefferson’s notion that truth can emerge from vigorous debate is too risky for our modern era. We don’t want legitimate progressive passions like the anger over the pending loss of the Roe v. Wade protection of abortion rights to be illegitimately suppressed just because some of the words being used sound too violent–burning down the Supreme Court building and murdering the justices, for example. We need righteous rage if we want to achieve social justice.”

Biden Admin Disinformation Effort Derailed

The less than month-old Disinformation Governance Board established by President Biden has been “put on hold” due to backlash against the idea that the Board reminded too many people of the “Ministry of Truth” in George Orwell’s distopian novel 1984. Given the chance to continue on the payroll with no job responsibilities, Nina Jankowicz decided to resign, saying “there’s no point in me staying on if I’m not going to be allowed to censor anyone’s erroneous statements or beliefs.”

Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre called this turn of events “tragic. We were putting together the most extensive and comprehensive suppression of mistaken ideas in American history. Ms. Jankowicz was an ideal person to carry out this mission. The survival of our democracy depends on a vigorous extermination of unwarranted criticism of the government. We were supremely confident of the skills she would have brought to this crucial battle.”

Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas expressed hope that “we can renew this effort to clamp down on dissident elements in the not too distant future. Perhaps we can come up with a less frightening name for the Board. Maybe this would mute the ferocious opposition we have seen over the last few weeks. Sorting out truth from falsehood is something that must be done. Jefferson’s notion that truth can emerge from vigorous debate is too risky for our modern era. We don’t want legitimate progressive passions like the anger over the pending loss of the Roe v. Wade protection of abortion rights to be illegitimately suppressed just because some of the words being used sound too violent–burning down the Supreme Court building and murdering the justices, for example. We need righteous rage if we want to achieve social justice.”