Russell Pearce Stands Tall as an American Patriot

Intellectual Conservative interview with former Arizona Senate President Russell Pearce …

Q. What happened that caused this media fury?

  A. During The Russell Pearce Show on KKNT radio 960 The Patriot, on September 6th, I read a “rant” by a lady from Texas about the abuse of the welfare state we have become. It is a “rant” that has been around for several years. I do not agree with all of her solutions to the problem, but did understand her anger and frustration of the abuse. However, apparently I did not make it crystal clear that it was a “rant” and not my own words. For that I apologize. Anyone can go to google and type in “put me in charge of welfare” and pull up her rant.

Q. What was your intent in reading it?

A. The purpose of radio is to push debate and have meaningful conversations about what is right with America and what needs to be fixed. This was an example of the frustrations felt by many Americans and to what extent they would go to fix the problem.

Q. Explain again why you did not make it clear it was a rant?

A. Simply, I moved on too quickly. I have one hour for the radio show, and it never seems to be enough time to get through all of what needs to be discussed. I simply realized after it was too late that I had neglected to mention it as a “rant” from a lady in Texas. As I ended the show, I asked Ashley who takes the callers for me, if I had failed to mention the author of the rant. She indicated I had.

Q. Do you advocate for, or have you ever advocated for the “sterilization” for women?

A. Certainly not. I have six sisters and six brothers; my wife is one of seven children, and we have five children and 18 grandchildren. We love children and large families. It was an attempt to show the frustration of Americans who observe abuse by those on socialist programs across this nation, where hard-working Americans are overtaxed to pay for those who take advantage. Just like Ronald Reagan said, “the best solution … is a job.”

Q. Where do you stand on welfare or entitlement programs?

A. I believe that responsibility should be with family, church and community, not with government programs of redistribution of other people’s property. Welfare programs should never be a way of life.

Q. Why did you resign after this happened as 1st Vice Chair State GOP?

A. As an unapologetic conservative, I’ve stood up for the rule of law and our constitutional freedoms. I love this great Republic, and have loved serving Arizona and my service with the Republican Party. However, because of the liberal media’s attempt to take what was not my comments, and use them inappropriately against Republican candidates, I thought it best to step down and do what is right for the party. I was elected twice as 1st Vice Chair of the state GOP by overwhelming numbers. I have great support by party faithful, but because I shared comments written by someone else and failed to attribute them to the author immediately, that was a mistake. This mistake has been run with by the liberal media and the Democrats in an attempt hurt our Republican candidates. I do not want the progressive left and the liberal media to take a misstatement from my show and use it to attack our candidates. I care about the Republican Party and its conservative platform too much to let them do that. Yet I have to recognize that hosting a radio show and the nature of the debates that we have had and will continue to have are incompatible with what our party needs from its leadership team. For that reason, I submitted my resignation as a vice chairman of the Republican Party.

I want to make this perfectly clear: I will never back down from standing up for what I believe is right, and I will continue to fight for the principles that our Founding Fathers and others have committed their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor for, and in many, many cases paid the ultimate price with their lives. But I have no intention of being used as a distraction by the Democrats looking to escape responsibility for their failed policies. It is time to return the focus to where it belongs, and that is the direction that our state and country should be headed towards.

I fight every single day for the preservation of this Republic, stopping the gangster government in D.C. and here in Arizona, defending the unborn, property rights, the Second Amendment, secure borders, strict enforcement of our immigration laws (attrition by enforcement), school choice, parental rights, lower taxes, reduced regulation, our God-given Freedoms and state sovereignty as intended by our Founders. I have spent my whole life defending this Constitutional Republic and make no apologies for it. I pray for the vigilant few who continue to stand for freedom and moral values. As an Arizona State Legislator and president of the Arizona State Senate, I have been able to write and get passed some of the most sweeping and comprehensive legislation in the nation to stop illegal hiring (worksite enforcement and protecting American jobs and the honest employer), no public benefits for illegals, and the first state to require proof of citizenship to register to vote. I am the proud sponsor of SB1070, Employer Sanctions, The Freedom To Carry Act, Castle Doctrine, Self-Defense Display, Proposition 107 to stop government discrimination by eliminating affirmative action in Arizona, just to name a few. I believe that is why I am attacked by the left and open border pro-amnesty crowd with such anger and vigilance.

I have tried to serve my country honorably my entire life. I am a veteran with a honorable discharge from the Army National Guard. I served 23 years with Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office and as Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s chief deputy; In fact, I spent most of my career in law enforcement and as a judge. I have been shot at and missed, and shot at and hit, and in fact was critically wounded in the line of duty. I have two sons in law enforcement, and one of them also has been critically wounded in the line of duty (shot by an illegal immigrant). Enough is enough.

Q. What is your personal position on welfare?

A. Again, there is no place in the Constitution for the redistribution of wealth. I understand the challenges out there, and I know we are a good and generous people, but citizens have a constitutional right to keep their own property. At a minimum, it should not be a way of life.

Q. How are things going in your new job at the Maricopa County Treasurer’s Office helping senior citizens?

A. I am blessed to work with such a wonderful group of folks who actually care about the taxpayer and work hard to make sure their money is safe. We all understand that we as Americans are over taxed. Like Ronald Reagan said, to paraphrase, “The problem is not that Americans live to well, but government is living too well.” I actually enjoy my work and am spending considerable time helping senior citizens on limited and fixed incomes stay in their homes through a program sponsored by the Treasurer to help them pay property tax through an Elder Assistance Program, as property taxes continue to rise through overrides and special taxing districts, putting our seniors who are low income at risk of losing their homes.

Q. What do you see for the future of the Republican Party?

A. I love this party and what it stands for. The problem is the politicians who break our hearts. This is the party of the people. This is the party of traditional values and constitutional freedoms. However, we elect those that run as Ronald Reagan conservatives and then vote like Jimmy Carter liberals. If you run as a Republican, you should be required to vote like a Republican. 80 percent of our party are real patriots. For the first time I can recall, we just “censured” a sitting U.S. Senator for ignoring our party principles, and that vote was at a mandatory meeting where 90 percent of the elected state committeemen voted to censure him. We often have great disdain for our elected officials, and that is because they fail to keep their promises. That is divisive and destructive to this party. We have some of our solid conservative patriots leaving the party and looking for a more conservative party, or just going independent because of these “RINOs” if you will. We must take back our party and make our folks and America proud. I am proud to be an American and will continue to work to strengthen this party and hold elected officials accountable to our platform. If we don’t, we will destroy this party from within. I call on all constitution loving Americans to join me in keeping this party the party of Reagan and one that we can count on.

Constitution Day and Surmounting Difficulties

Congressman Trent Franks (AZ-08), chair of the House Judiciary Committee’s Constitution Subcommittee, released the following statement in recognition of Constitution Day:

“On this Constitution Day, our nation finds itself consumed with a discussion of how we will confront an enemy that stands in stark contrast to every principle we hold dear.  May the debate serve as a reminder of why the United States Constitution has, for 226 years, endured as such a unique and shining beacon to the rest of the world.

“The very process of drafting the Constitution was spectacular evidence of the truths the document itself would come to enshrine.  Far from being a monolithic, single-minded entity – the Founding Fathers nonetheless managing to find common ground in the name of this unprecedented experiment in human liberty. James Madison would later remark, ‘The real wonder is that so many difficulties should have been surmounted, and surmounted with a unanimity almost as unprecedented as it must have been unexpected. It is impossible for any man of candor to reflect on this circumstance without partaking of the astonishment. It is impossible for the man of pious reflection not to perceive in it a finger of that Almighty hand which has been so frequently and signally extended to our relief in the critical stages of the revolution.’

“Based on the fundamental recognition that rights came not from the hand of some transient tyrant, but from the hand of God, the Constitution shook the foundations of human history and continues to do so today. Today, may those of us who have ‘solemnly sworn to support and defend the Constitution’ reflect on what a high and weighty calling that truly is. For ‘miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again.’”

Rogers Calls on Sinema to Keep Her Promise and Return Her Salary for Not Doing the Job

In a desperate attempt to whitewash her Washington record, Krysten Sinema began airing an ad today that tried to gloss over her failings in Washington. In her ad, Sinema said Congress should not get paid if it doesn’t do its job . . . something that found immediate support from candidate Wendy Rogers.

“I agree, I look forward to Kyrsten Sinema returning her salary to taxpayers for the past two years,” said Wendy Rogers. “Given that she has not voted for a single budget or offered a solution of her own – it’s pretty clear she’s not doing her job. She should live up to her promise to return her pay.”

Sinema voted against the House Budget H. Con. Res. 96 on April 10th, 2014. She also voted against the Democratic Budget Alternative on the same day. A check of House sponsored bills also shows that she has never offered a budget of her own. Sinema also voted against a balanced budget that would have prevented Members of Congress from using taxpayer dollars to fly first class (Roll Call #88; 3/20/2013).

“The only budget matter she seems to have an opinion on is keeping her First-Class-only ticket on flights to Washington,” said Rogers. “I’m interested in getting our budget back in balance and returning our country to a solid footing. As a small business owner, I understand how to make budgets balance.”

Sinema’s ad also tried to gloss over the fact that she has supported Nancy Pelosi on 82% of recorded votes since going to Washington. (Washington Post, U.S. Congress Votes Database)

“Its time for real leadership that will put Arizona first,” said Rogers. “Pelosi and Obama have enough cheerleaders; we need someone who will work to solve problems.”

This is FREEDOM

Mexican President Calls Perry Border Policy “Unneighborly”

By John Semmens – Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

Folder2 104Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto castigated Texas Governor Rick Perry’s deployment of National Guard troops on the U.S.-Mexican border as “unneighborly. He’s like that Clint Eastwood character in Gran Torino telling my people to get off his lawn.”

For decades my people have become accustomed to the ability to pass freely between our two countries,” Peña said. “In our minds this clearly establishes an ‘easement’ right to travel over these roads and pathways. For Governor Perry to suddenly seek to terminate these rights is an affront.”

Peña indicated that he plans to bring the issue up before the United Nations. “America’s trampling of human rights has become a growing problem for us,” Peña complained. “While the United States may be the 800 lb. gorilla in our bilateral relationship they can’t stand against the whole of humanity represented by the UN.”

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon promised “to give this matter serious consideration. The Earth belongs to all of humanity. The right of any individual to move about in any part of it cannot be denied by any secular power. The fact that Mexicans have been crossing the Texas border unopposed for generations would seem to have built a strong case for the easement right claimed by President Peña.”

Peña brushed off contentions that his country has also been unneighborly by continuing to imprison US Marine Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi for inadvertently crossing into Mexico with guns in the trunk of his vehicle. “There is no right to bear arms in Mexico,” Peña pointed out. “If we let this man go it will set a bad example for others. His case is in no way comparable. First off, he is one man. The persons impacted by Governor Perry’s edict number in the tens, maybe hundreds of thousands. Few of them are armed, but even if they were, America’s Constitution guarantees their right to own and carry firearms.”

School Confiscates American Flags from Students

Woodruff High School in Spartanburg, South Carolina confiscated American flags from the vehicles of four students this past week.

The school’s principal, Aaron Fulmer, explained that “professions of patriotism do not write a ‘blank check’ for egregious behavior. Many of our undocumented students may feel intimidated by such flagrant demonstrations. And as President Obama has pointed out, the American flag, like the Confederate flag, is seen as a symbol of oppression in many parts of the world.”

Flaunting so-called American exceptionalism also contradicts the lesson of humility our school is trying to inculcate,” Fulmer said. “The United States is just one country out of hundreds. It is inappropriate for students to be acting like America is special and somehow better than anywhere else.”

Fulmer was less certain about the possibility of confiscating other flags that have been brandished around the country. “A Mexican flag may be a reassuring symbol of a far away home that an immigrant misses,” Fulmer speculated. “Who are we to take that away from them?”

As for confiscating the ISIS flags that have popped up elsewhere, Fulmer admitted that “that would be difficult. I wouldn’t know the flag if I saw it. And I wouldn’t want to risk angering some very dangerous people.”

IRS Poised to Start Taxing Employer Provided Lunches

Some employers provide employees with company-paid free lunches. The idea is to keep workers at their desks and improve productivity. The expense has normally been lumped in with other expenses as a cost of doing business. The IRS now wants to tax these lunches as income to the employees.

IRS spokesperson Jason Coveter explained that “most employees have to furnish their own lunches. Whether they go out and buy it or bring it from home, they are bearing this cost themselves. It is unfair for other employees to get a lunch paid for by their employer. We’re just trying to level the playing field.”

The “leveling” will be retroactive “to help rectify previous wrongs,” according to Coveter. “We’re going to try to go back at least a few years if we can,” he said. “Consuming free lunches is kind of a social crime and we’re using a sort of ‘statute of limitations’ model that would impose a significant penalty, but not an unlimited one.”

Some taxpayers could end up owing thousands in back taxes and penalties. Not to worry says Coveter, though. “We will have easy payment plans in place that will allow those who owe to pay in installments over the course of a year or two.”

Other employer provided amenities that are in line for future IRS scrutiny include free parking, heating/cooling, lights, and toilet facilities. “Those are all things that the employee has to pay for when he’s at home,” Coverter said. “There’s no good reason why he should be relieved of the cost of these burdens just because he’s at work.”

Germany Strikes Blow Against ISIS

The German Government has decided to strike back against the ISIS reign of terror in Iraq and Syria by revoking its access to civic amenities.

Included in the ban would be the total loss of privileges to use public facilities such as meeting rooms at libraries, ramadas at public parks, and participation in public parades. In addition, security personnel at sporting events will be instructed to deny admittance to anyone wearing Isis symbols including hats, t-shirts or other garb with the organization’s insignia.

Defense minister Thomas de Mazière, characterized the restrictions as “a measured response. We want to give them the chance to feel the bite of these penalties and see if it reforms their behavior before considering more aggressive actions.”

Holder Says Arming Mexican Drug Cartels “Our Ace in the Hole” vs. ISIL Infiltrators

While a key part of President Obama’s strategy to combat ISIL involves arming supposed enemies of that organization, a program that has previously been roundly criticized is now being bandied about as “prescient” and “visionary” by Attorney General Eric Holder. The program: “Fast and Furious.”

What the President’s critics have lambasted as wrongheaded and improvident is starting to look pretty good now that ISIL has vowed to infiltrate the United States via our southern border,” Holder bragged. “The Mexican drug cartels are very territorial about what crosses over this border. They won’t be too friendly toward ISIL actions that may threaten their smuggling profits.”

Holder hailed “the toughness of these people. As we have seen they are every bit as vicious as the thugs running ISIL. They have murdered hundreds—many by beheading. And with the huge volume of firearms we have helped them acquire they are well-prepared to defend their perceived turf against these ISIL interlopers.”

Jennifer Lasley, a senior official in the Department of Homeland Security’s intelligence and analysis office concurred in Holder’s take on the issue. “These Mexican gangs are scary. Setting them up to be our first line of defense against potential ISIL infiltration was a stroke of genius that the Administration won’t get enough credit for.”

It’s possible, though, that ISIL might use a portion of its profits from sale of oil from the wells it seized in Iraq to bribe the cartels for a truce and passage through their border fiefdoms. Should this occur, Holder vowed that “we will put our heads together to try to come up with a ‘plan B.’”

In related news, Rep. Eddie Johnson (D-Tex) argues that “the beheading of those journalists doesn’t warrant the war President Obama now seems eager to initiate. That was only two guys. As many or more are murdered every week in the President’s home town. So, is he going to launch air strikes against the gangs that are terrorizing the streets of Chicago? Aren’t they more dangerous to more Americans than ISIS?”

Senator Udall Says Debates “Not Part of My Strategy”

Sitting Senator Mark Udall (D-Colo) refuses to debate his GOP opponent Cory Gardner, saying that a proposed televised debate is “not part of my strategy for reelection.”

These live debates are such a crap shoot,” Udall groused. “You can’t carefully craft your message. You only have a few seconds to compose answers to off-the-wall questions. The risk of a misstatement is high.”

Rather than endanger the major investment his campaign has made in focus group-vetted platitudes by debating, Udall expressed satisfaction with his plan to bombard voters with dinner-time robocalls. “The beauty of these is that a candidate has total control over what is said,” he boasted. “A brief message that pushes a couple of key buttons can reach thousands of voters per hour. Why should I ruin that by stumbling through a debate?”

Press Secretary Chides Golf Clubs

The Trump National Golf Club, Winged Foot and Willow Ridge rejected requests to let President Obama play on their golf courses over the Labor Day weekend. This mightily irked Presidential Press Secretary Josh Earnest.

These clubs put the needs and convenience of their members ahead of the needs and convenience of the President of the United States,” Earnest charged. “It’s a clear case of misplaced priorities.”

The inconveniences to golf club members would’ve been substantial. All other golfers would’ve been barred from the course while the President played through.

Where’s their sense of patriotism?” Earnest wondered. “The President is Commander-in-Chief. Where’s their sense of social conscience? Their club members are part of the wealthiest segment of society. The President is the representative of all the people, including the lowliest among us. Where’s their sense of humanity? The President has the hardest job in the world. Surely that entitles him to some much needed relaxation. It’s just so cruel and unfair.”

To try to make amends, Donald Trump offered to allow Obama unlimited access to all of the golf courses he owns if the President would only resign from office. “His mouthpiece is asking for a sense of humanity,” Trump observed. “How about a win-win situation where Obama is relieved of his burdens while the world is rescued from his incompetence?”

Kerry Says Islamic State Is Not Islamic

US Secretary of State John Kerry challenged ISIL’s definition of itself and insisted that the self-proclaimed Islamic State is not, in fact, Islamic.

I studied Islam in college,” Kerry asserted. “None of the books I read or classes I took mentioned anything about beheading unbelievers or raping women. I’ll stack this up against the mutterings of an uneducated terrorist any day of the week.”

Palestinian-Jordanian politician Muhammad Bayoudh Al-Tamimi disagreed with Kerry and maintained that ISIL’s “actions and words stem directly from the Quran and Sunna—two of Islam’s most sacred texts.”

A spokesman for ISIL suggested that “perhaps this chattering moron, Kerry, has not read the right books or listened to the words of practicing believers. If he falls into our hands we will give him the opportunity to rectify this gap in his education. Then we will cut his head off as the Quran commands.”

IRS Chief Says “We Try to Follow the Law Whenever We Can”

IRS Commissioner John Koskinen told the House Ways and Means subcommittee that “as a general rule, we try to follow the law whenever we can.” Rep. Kevin Brady (R-Tex), who leads the subcommittee, expressed the idea that the IRS ought to always follow the law and asked for instances in which Koskinen thought breaking the law might be necessary.

Laws are such static things,” Koskinen observed. “They don’t necessarily provide for every possible contingency. If the President feels that there is a gap in the law we’re not going to allow ourselves to be stymied by the lack of legislative authorization for what needs to be done.”

A Satirical Look at Recent News

John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire column for The Arizona Conservative since 2005. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties that our nation’s Founding Fathers tried to protect.

Please do us a favor. If you use material created by The Arizona Conservative, give us credit, and DO NOT change the context. Thank you.

Radical Activist Judge Defies Arizona Constitution

By Cathi Herrod, President, Center for Arizona Policy

“Today, U.S. District Judge John Sedwick ruled narrowly that Arizona must recognize the marriage of two men who were legally married in another state. This decision was driven by politics, not constitutional law.

While the ruling is narrow, Judge Sedwick also stated in his order that Arizona probably would be required to permit same sex marriages despite the definition of marriage as the union of one man and one woman found in Arizona’s constitutional marriage amendment approved by the people in 2008 and found in Arizona law since statehood.

Arizona has become the latest victim of a politically driven judiciary.

The U.S. Supreme Court has affirmed the right of every state to define marriage, yet Judge Sedwick has joined the judicial stampede of other lower federal judges who have tried to override or ignore marriage laws based on no precedent other than their own political bias.

We all know this issue will ultimately end up before the U.S. Supreme Court. That Court has scheduled a September 29 conference to determine whether and which state marriage amendment cases to accept for review. A ruling likely will be issued by next summer.

Political and cultural winds may shift, but the foundational value and purpose of marriage between one man and one woman remains.

Regardless of how the courts rule, two truths will endure:

  1. No court will ever be the final arbiter of the definition of marriage. All those who say supporters of one man, one woman marriage are on the wrong side of history have a very short and narrow view of history. Just as the Roe v. Wade decision began the public policy debate about legalized abortion, so too the public policy debate about marriage has only just begun.
  2. The bonds between a child and their father and mother are irreplaceable. While many children tragically are not able to experience the joy and benefits of having a loving mom and dad, public policy should provide every opportunity to give children a mom and a dad, yet today’s decision is the first step that will block more children from that opportunity.

Center for Arizona Policy’s commitment to advocating for marriage and family is stronger than ever. No matter what a court may say, we will continue to work towards making Arizona the best state to raise a family.”

Arizona Parents can ‘Thank’ Kyrsten Sinema for Loss of Their Children’s Health Insurance Due to Obamacare

Wendy Rogers has released the following statement criticizing Kyrsten Sinema’s, the far left candidate for Congress, record on Obamacare:

“Kyrsten Sinema has been a longtime advocate of universal healthcare.  She readily admits having authored parts of Obamacare.  She routinely misled the people of Arizona by parroting the Obama administration’s talking points, to include the lie ‘if you like your doctor (or insurance plan), you can keep it.’[1]  In 2009 before the vote on Obamacare, as a cheerleader for the Obama administration, Sinema perpetuated this lie to countless audiences while barnstorming across Arizona.[2] Since then, however, thousands of Arizonans are suffering from the lie since they’ve now lost their insurance or their doctors from before the law was passed,” said Rogers.

“In a recent interview with The Arizona Republic, Robert Meyer, the CEO of the Phoenix Children’s Hospital, said that 20 children are coming to his facility every day only to find that Phoenix Children’s Hospital is NOT covered by their insurance because of Obamacare.  Previously, they may have had coverage which included Phoenix Children’s Hospital, but since Obamacare brought about the creation of ‘narrow network’ plans, now their choices are drastically reduced to only a select few facilities.  Parents are left with a stark choice – either take their loved one somewhere unfamiliar or try to argue with their insurance company to receive out-of-network coverage for their sick child, something which Meyer notes ‘causes tremendous anxiety for the parents and families that are going through major crisis.’”[3]

“Despite these terrible flaws, Kyrsten Sinema refuses to back down.  Regardless, she voted against the repeal of Obamacare saying ‘the fundamentals of [the program] are good,’[4]  . . . in the face of all the contrary evidence.  At the very least, Kyrsten Sinema should go on record to say she was wrong for supporting Obamacare and spreading the Obama administration’s lie to Arizonans.  Obamacare hurts families.  I’m a mother – – it pains me deeply to see bad government policy continue to hurt children.  Obamacare is wrong for our nation, and Kyrsten Sinema should be ashamed for supporting it.”

General Election Endorsements

The Arizona Conservative is endorsing candidates for public office in the Grand Canyon State in advance of the November 4 general elections. Voters have two choices: candidates who will champion FREEDOM for the individual and those who will push policies that deny and reduce personal freedoms – the candidates of socialism and excessive government CONTROL of your life. Whom do you want in office? Those who will protect your constitutional freedom, or those who would expand government and take away more and more of your freedom, controlling more and more of your life? Your vote will impact every facet of American society and culture. Please make informed and intelligent decisions. Vote on values and principle, not on personalities and negative advertising. Compare what candidates actually say and how they have legislated previously; if you do this, you will find that many candidates from the party of CONTROL will not be as truthful.

Office Freedom Control
Governor Doug Ducey Fred DuVal
Secretary of State Chris Campas, Terry Goddard
Attorney General Mark Brnovich Felicia Rotellini
State Treasurer Jeff DeWitt
Supt. Of Public Instruction Diane Douglas Sharon Thomas, David Garcia
Mining Inspector Joe Hart Manuel Cruz
Congress-District 1 Ann Kirkpatrick
Congress-District 2 Martha McSally Ron Barber
Congress-District 3 Gabriela Saucedo Mercer Raul Grijalva
Congress-District 4 Paul Gosar Mikel Weisser
Congress-District 5 Matt Salmon
Congress-District 6 David Schweikert
Congress-District 7 Steve Gallardo, Cesar Chavez
Congress-District 8 Trent Franks Helmuth Hack
Congress-District 9 Wendy Rogers Kyrsten Sinema

Arizona Legislature

District 1

Senate:

House: Karen Fann

District 2

Senate:

House:

District 3

Senate:

House:

District 4

Senate: Connie Uribe

House:

District 5

Senate: Kelli Ward

House:

District 6

Senate: Sylvia Allen

House: Brenda Barton

District 7

Senate:

House:

District 8

Senate: Irene Littleton

House:

District 9

Senate:

House:

District 10

Senate:

House:

District 11

Senate: Steve Smith

House: Vince Leach, Mark Finchem

District 12

Senate: Andy Biggs

House: Eddie Farnsworth, Warren Peterson

District 13

Senate: Don Shooter

House: Darin Mitchell, Steve Montenegro

District 14

Senate: Gail Griffin

House: David Gowan, David Stevens

District 15

Senate: Nancy Barto

House: John Allen

District 16

Senate: David Farnsworth

House: Kelly Townsend

District 17

SenateA Steve Yarbrough

House: J.D. Mesnard, Jeff Weninger

District 18

Senate:

House: Jill Norgaard

District 19

Senate: Joseph Hobbs

House:

District 20

Senate: Kimberly Yee

House: Paul Boyer

District 21

Senate: Debbie Lesko

House: Rick Gray

District 22

Senate: Judy Burges

House: David Livington, Phil Lovas

District 23

Senate: John Kavanaugh

House: Jay Lawrence, Michelle Ugenti

District 24

Senate:

House:

District 25

Senate:

House: Rusty Bowers, Justin Olsen

District 26

Senate:

House:

District 27

Senate:

House:

District 28

Senate:

House: Shawna Bolick

District 29

Senate:

House:

District 30

Senate: Gary Cox

House:

Kerry Says ISIS Will Be Destroyed Within Three Years

By John Semmens – Semi-News — A Satirical Look at Recent News

Folder2 104U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry predicted that the Islamic State (also known as ISIS and ISIL) would be destroyed within three years. The means: “massive wrongful death lawsuits.”

“These thugs might think they’re cute filming the decapitation of their victims,” Kerry said. “But by putting their torts on record they have opened themselves to legal liability that will cost them billions in damages.”

“No country on Earth has better or more expensive lawyers than we do,” the Secretary boasted. “With skills honed from decades of tormenting corporate defendants in the courtroom, the plaintiffs’ bar will eviscerate ISIS’s defenses and use their own words and videos against them. Financial ruin and public humiliation for these goons is just a matter of time.”

Kerry invited observers “to compare our innovative and nuanced approach with the clumsy efforts of the Bush Administration’s so-called ‘war on terror.’ In our plan, instead of putting US troops at risk, all the heavy lifting will be done by lawyers filing suits and attaching liens to every asset ISIS possesses.”

According to Kerry, a side benefit of the Administration’s strategy to sue ISIS into submission is that “it allows us to conserve our resources to fight the greater threat of global warming. The massacres perpetrated by ISIS are a mere pin prick compared to the devastation that climate change will wreak on the planet. If we do not prevail in this greater fight Foley and Sotloff will be remembered as the lucky ones.”

ABC’s Good Morning America, co-host George Stephanopoulos called this “sue the bastards” strategy “amazingly ingenious. It opens an arena of conflict at which this nation excels. The skills ISIS has nurtured in beheading captives, raping women, and killing children will be completely useless against the hordes of attorneys we can deploy against them. I think the Administration has once again turned the table on its critics.”

Senator to Issue Report Absolving IRS

Sen. Carl Levin (D-Mich), chairman of the Senate’s Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations is preparing a report that will absolve the IRS and Lois Lerner of any wrongdoing in the campaign to target and harass conservative political organizations.

“Those who have alleged that Lerner and the IRS took it upon themselves to conduct a vendetta against conservative organizations have it all wrong,” Levin alleged. “Evidence has emerged that the IRS was acting upon urgent requests from highly placed members of the government. Bureaucrats being responsive to the needs of the government is behavior we should be encouraging not punishing.”

The highly placed members of the government cited by Levin included himself and fellow Senators Richard Durbin (D-Ill), Charles Schumer (D-NY), Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH), Tom Udall (D-Colo), Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI), Al Franken (D-Minn), Michael Bennet (D-Colo), and Jeff Merkley (D-Ore).

“When a Senator is on the other end of the phone or email, a public servant’s duty must be to assist in whatever way he or she can,” Levin insisted. “These requests must be expedited, not impeded by excessive attention to  rules and regulations. It was not Ms. Lerner’s job to insert her judgment as a barrier to carrying out the wishes of the people who vote on the appropriations to fund the agency she works for.”

In addition to the procedural arguments raised in defense of the IRS, Senator Levin pointed out that “substantively, the organizations flagged by the Senators were reasonably suspected of anti-government views and activities. It was the IRS’ patriotic duty to interdict these organizations in whatever way it could in order to help thwart their attempts to undermine the President and his loyal supporters.”

UN Defends Refusal to Evacuate Non-Combatants in Gaza

In its efforts to minimize collateral damage in its campaign against Hamas terrorists who were launching rocket attacks against Israeli civilians, the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) asked UN “peace keepers” in Gaza to help Palestinian civilians evacuate the combat zone. The UN refused this request.

UN spokesperson Penelope Ironside explained that “the idea that civilians should be removed from the battle zone conflicted with the explicit strategy of one of the contending sides. For us to have assisted in their removal would have compromised the UN’s position as a neutral party.”

“The conflict between Israel and Hamas is asymmetrical,” Ironside added. “Hamas cannot effectively oppose the IDF in head-to-head combat. Embedding its weapons in the midst of Palestinian civilians impedes the IDF’s path. For us to have facilitated the removal of these persons would’ve been tantamount to taking sides.”

“Secondly, the whole notion that civilians are merely innocent bystanders is not accepted by Hamas,” Ironside continued. “What Israel insists are innocent victims of their rocket attacks, Hamas sees as legitimate targets. Jewish women and children are illegally occupying Palestinian lands. Maybe the Hamas rocket attacks will make them leave.”

Biden Says Hoarders Are Retarding Economy

Citing a paper released this week by the St. Louis Federal Reserve, Vice-President Joe Biden blamed American consumers for the sluggish economy.

“The government is doing everything it can to try to stimulate the economy,” Biden contended. “The federal government is spending every dollar it can get its hands on. The Federal Reserve is manufacturing new dollars at an unprecedented pace. But consumers are just sitting on their cash.”

“Hoarding cash makes no sense,” the Veep argued. “The dollar’s purchasing power is being diluted on a daily basis by government policies. Spending your dollars before they lose even more value is what you should do.”

Biden dismissed concerns that people might be saving out of fear of losing their jobs, saying that “there’s no need for anyone to provide their own safety net. In fact, depleting all your assets and means of subsistence makes you eligible for the maximum amount of public assistance.”

“If private hoarding continues the government may have to implement a more vigorous escheatment process in order to put these idle funds to better use,” Biden suggested. “I mean, if people are just sitting on inactive balances in savings accounts the government has the need and the right to seize these funds and inject them into the flow of commerce.”

NY Board of Elections Cracks Down on Unauthorized Speech

Concerned that “unelected persons might defame elected officials,” the New York Board of Elections has declared that no one may criticize a sitting officeholder without first forming a “political action committee.”

Executive Director Todd Valentine asserted that “the notion that everyone is free to say whatever they want about members of the government is a misunderstanding of the concept of freedom of speech. If you’re talking about or to another private citizen you can say whatever you want. But if you want to criticize the governor, mayor, or a member of the legislature or city council you need to file with us.”

Those who engage in criticisms without gaining prior approval from the Board may be fined up to $1,000 per offense. If, for example, you pass out 50 flyers opposing the reelection of your current senator—you’d be liable for a potential fine of $50,000.

Valentine was unconcerned that the regulations might discourage some citizens from participating in public debate. “People who are serious about politics will make the effort to register as a political action committee,” he contended. “Those not willing to take this minimal step have no business getting involved. The era of unregulated rogue commentaries is ended in this state. It’s the least we can do for those who govern us.”

In related news, the University of Minnesota student newspaper apologized “for any embarrassment we may have caused Senator Franken for attempting to schedule a debate between him and his Republican challenger Mike McFadden. Senator Franken has rightly pointed out that as the state’s US Senator he should not be forced to demean himself by debating a person who is merely a private citizen. We can only hope that Senator Franken will forgive our youthful indiscretion on this sensitive matter.”

Firm Punished for Verifying Employees’ Residency

The Department of Justice has fined Culinaire International $20,000 for asking a prospective hiree to provide proof of legal residence.

“Demanding that employees show proof of citizenship or legal residence in this country is discriminatory,” Attorney General Eric Holder asserted. “It explicitly contradicts the President’s expressed wishes that all applicants whether in this country legally or not be treated equal.”

Holder brushed aside state laws that penalize employers for not verifying residency status as irrelevant. “The possibility that a state may sanction an employer for not conducting such a verification is not my concern,” Holder said. “The fact is Culinare violated our Administration’s policies. We cannot allow that infraction to go unpunished.”

A Satirical Look at Recent News

John Semmens is a retired economist who has written a weekly political satire column for The Arizona Conservative since 2005. He says working on his satires is one of the ways he tries to honor the liberties that our nation’s Founding Fathers tried to protect.

Please do us a favor. If you use material created by The Arizona Conservative, give us credit, and DO NOT change the context. Thank you.

The Arizona Conservative Endorses Sylvia Allen for Senate

Republican Party leaders just met in Flagstaff and elect Navajo County Supervisor Sylvia Tenney Allen as their nominee to run for the Senate seat vacated by the late Chester Crandell.

Senator Crandall ran unopposed for re-election to his Arizona Senate seat, but died in a horse riding accident recently.

Allen is a past Arizona legislator with sterling conservative credentials who has served Arizona well in the past. And she’ll do so again. We expect her to win the November election and urge voters to give her the victory.

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