Klain Claims Vindication

White House Chief of Staff Ron Klain has taken a lot of flak for his assertion that “Americans should stop whining about supply chain problems and inflation” and his suggestion that “they could forage through dumpsters for edible food.”

This week a woman going by the name “Dumpster Diving Freegan” boasted she found $1,000 of free food in the trash bin behind a Whole Foods Market. In her post to Tik Tok she explained that “everything was still packaged and unopened and nothing was past its use by date – and it was all just one day’s worth of waste.” Her haul included 100 loaves of bread, boxes of tea, bags of fruit and vegetables, and cheesecakes – “all were perfectly fine to eat except the six unopened packages of toilet paper.”

“This proves my critics wrong,” Klain said. “The simple life I heralded as the wave of the future under the President’s Build Back Better plan is both an environmentally beneficial and a practical option for Americans. The money that individuals have been wasting on unhealthy food, frivolous gadgets and unnecessary conveniences can safely be transferred to the government where it can be invested in more socially beneficial ways.”

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