Gov Touts “Re-imagined Illinois Economy”

By: John Semmens

Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker (D) celebrated “the opening of a new call center that will encourage more women to make our state the destination of choice for aborting their unwanted babies. Last year even without the call center we saw 10,000 more women travel here from other states to use our state-of-the-art life termination facilities. This was a 29% boost in output. Our new call center promises to accelerate this growth in business.”

Pritzker called abortion “a potential growth industry for our state in the event that the Supreme Court overrules its 1973 Roe v. Wade decision and returns the issue of whether to allow abortions to the states. Many of the other states will likely place more restrictions on the practice out of a misguided respect for human life. We will be the safe harbor for women whose home states refuse to meet their demands. The revenues earned will enable us to put more of our residents on public welfare, sparing them from the leisure-robbing rigors of providing for themselves.”

The Governor also called “the shift from an economy based on smoke-belching steel factories, rail transportation, and bucolic pursuits to one based on the cleaner medical abortion industry will help purify our air and fight climate change. The people of this state should be proud of the contribution we are making to Mother Earth by opting to become the nation's leader in this vital medical field.”