Congress Boosts Expense Account by 21%

By: John Semmens

Citing the year-over-year inflation rate of 8% posted this past February, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) sought to reassure everyone that "their government would be taken care of” as she announced “an additional $134 million has been put at our disposal to ensure that our work is not impeded by rising prices.”

“I know that a lot of Americans have been concerned about how hard inflation will hit it's elected representatives,” the Speaker said. “They need not worry that we won't be prepared to weather the storm. The added $134 million is an increase of 21% over last year. Unless prices skyrocket we should have money to spare. But if we don't, there is a broad consensus across both Parties that additional funds can be appropriated.”

In related news, Pelosi acknowledged that “we are looking into whether to enact a supplemental appropriation to set aside compensation for Americans sanctioned by Putin in retaliation for the sanctions imposed by President Biden on Russians for the war in Ukraine. So far, Biden, his son Hunter, Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State Antony Blinken, Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Mark Milley and White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki have been hit with sanctions imposed by Putin. All of them stand to lose a substantial portion of the income they derive from their Russian business interests. This is an outrage that the American people won't stand for. The government must be ready to make up for their losses.”