GOP Leadership Wants to Aid Dems in Lame-Duck Session

With Republicans set to be the majority in the House in January, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) is severely disappointed in Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) who seems intent on giving Democrats everything they want during the "lame-duck" period between the elections and the start of the next session.

"Rather than wait until a Republican-led House can serve as a counterweight to the Democrats' spending spree, McConnell seems determined to help them pass another gargantuan appropriation that can only worsen the inflation the nation is currently experiencing," Cruz complained.

McConnell defended the accommodation, saying that "we cannot risk the possibility that government programs might suffer from insufficient funding. Granted, a large portion of the money will be wasted on outlays of little or no value to the American people, but if we don't fund this waste Democrats will short-change essential programs like national defense. As for inflation, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen has assured us that consumer spending is the chief culprit."

Yellen confirmed McConnell's perception by pointing out that "too many people are buying stuff they don't need. For example, despite the fact that the majority of our population is overweight they aren't cutting back their spending on food. They continue to buy expensive meat instead of lower-priced beans as their main source of protein. Another example is driving around in a personal vehicle instead of riding public transit. This kind of undisciplined self-indulgence takes resources away from vital government programs. I commend Sen. McConnell for having the courage to join with Democrats to divert more resources to government use."

In related news, New York Mayor Eric Adams is planning to hire a "rat czar" to help reduce the city's population of these destructive rodents. "I think we can accomplish two objectives," he said. "First, we can decimate disease-carrying vermin. Then by converting these animals into food we will be able to provide a less expensive source of protein for consumers struggling with high food prices. Eating rats is routine in many parts of the world. Rat-on-a-stick is very popular in Vietnam and Cambodia. And the British eat rat pie."