Teixeira Leaks Contradict Ukraine War Narrative
This week, FBI agents arrested 21-year-old Air National Guardsmen Jack Teixeira for his role in leaking classified military documents. While the Biden Administration has claimed that the billions in aid advanced to support Ukraine's efforts in this war are succeeding, the classified military documents say otherwise.
According to General Mark Milley Russia has lost "well over 100,000 soldiers." Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin told Congress that "Ukraine is winning the war." However, the classified documents belie these assertions. According to these documents there have been an estimated 16,000 to 17,500 Russian casualties and as many as 71,000 Ukrainian casualties.
John Kirby, Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs, has warned the media "to refrain from repeating the contents of the classified documents even though the content is accurate." Kirby went on to clarify that further exposure of the truth would make them accessories to Teixeira's treason. Lies are an integral strategy for winning a war. Deceit played a crucial role in the defeat of the Nazi war machine. The media's assistance in propagating the perception that Ukraine is winning is vital to undermining Russian troops' morale."
Kirby dismissed Republican objections to being lied to as "unpatriotic. In times of crisis it is essential that all be united behind the strategy chosen by the nation's Commander-in-Chief. They forget that it was their Party's candidate for president in the 1944 election who patriotically opposed a Congressional investigation into the causes of the government's failure to be prepared for the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. We ask them to do the same now to put aside their partisan bickering over the corruption of our Ukrainian ally, the waste of tax dollars, and the risk of widening the conflict into a nuclear war and sign onto President Biden's pledge to do whatever it takes to ensure Russia's defeat."
Kirby assured that "the US troops that the leaked documents acknowledged are stationed in Ukraine are not there to engage in the fighting at the present time, but to serve as a 'trip wire' for stimulating public support for sending a larger force should any of them be killed or injured by Russian missiles or artillery. A similar strategy was used in 1941 to gain public support for the United States to enter what became World War II. I don't know of anyone today who thinks that was a mistake then. So why not replicate it in Ukraine now when the casualties will be far fewer than at Pearl Harbor?"
In other military news, Secretary of the Navy Carlos Del Toro conceded that "we are no match for China's People’s Liberation Army Navy. Within the next two years they will have 400 ships. We currently have fewer than 300. They have 13 shipyards, one of which has more capacity than all of ours combined. That's why I have made climate change my top priority since the first day I came into office. If we can moderate the predicted sea level rise due to global warming there will be fewer square miles of ocean for the Chinese navy to dominate."
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE by John Semmens
