Biden Boasts He Got Carlson off the Air

At the annual White House correspondents dinner, President Biden boasted that one of the jobs he got done in the last year was "to get Tucker Carlson off the air."

The mainstream media audience was mostly uncertain of how to respond, but a few boos were heard, to which Biden responded by saying "what are you booing about, like you think that’s not reasonable? Give me a break. I was elected to unify this country. Carlson's continued criticism of me undermined our nation's unity and our democracy. It was my sacred duty to silence him in whatever way that I could. Right now we have him where we want him. His contract with Fox runs till the end of 2024. He still gets paid, but he can't say anything without Fox's prior approval. He won't be free to speak until I'm already reelected. Let's see how the right-wingers who mock me as 'addle-brained' deal with me outsmarting them."

SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE by John Semmens