NYC to Pay Rioters $13 Million

In a lawsuit alleging police brutality in their response to vandalism, arson, and assaults committed in New York City by persons protesting the May 25, 2020 death of George Floyd while in police custody in Minneapolis, New York City has agreed to pay each of the arrested rioters $10,000 rather than go to trial.

Elena Cohen, the chief attorney for the plaintiffs, argued that "the arrests violated the demonstrators freedom of speech and assembly. The City's contention that setting police cars on fire, vandalizing precinct houses, throwing rocks, bricks, bottles at and stabbing, punching, and biting officers, and lobbing gasoline bombs are not constitutionally protected free speech discriminates against the illiterate and inarticulate citizens of this nation. The US Supreme Court has long recognized such non-verbal means of protest to be legitimate,"

City attorney Georgia Pestana said "the notion that destruction and violence carried out by those arrested in these riots is protected free speech is absurd. However, former mayor Bill de Blasio--the named defendant in the suit--does believe it is protected free speech. Current Mayor Eric Adams has more pressing issues to deal with. And given the recent decriminalization of crimes like those committed during these riots under our 'no bail' law, rather than expending further energy and money fighting this we are paying off these plaintiffs."

SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE by John Semmens